i cant properly remember him...we all heal in the end. Thanks to all at ENA who have helped me

[locolady]

It seems I became addicted to the pain, obssessed by the idea of him, rather than him anymore. ANyone else felt like this?

 

Its been 14 months since we split up and we've never had another conversation. I did try pathetically, but not anymore. If i'm honest, I cant really imagine him anymore, I cant feel what it felt like to be with him in the same way, I cant hear his voice, I cant feel him.

 

I guess i've realised and accepted that the pain I continue to feel is all my own doing, all my own creation - I dont miss him anymore. I just think I do. I have got so used to the hurt that I return to it all the time.

 

I dont need to do that anymore.

 

My friend text me an amazing message today, I hope it helps others as much as it has helped me, I love it...."babe, dont keep returning to what hurts, the more you return to a false centre, the more your existence comes to depend upon that one thing. You generate your own heat and the past is not important. We are all young and in love at one time, finality is a myth. Enjoy the possibilities of the future."

 

Thanks to everyone at ENA for the support I have been given while being highly self-indulgent.

[Truffle786]

Wow, I'm so happy to read this, I've been reading your posts for months now, and I knew your time would come.

I was in a similar place and was hooked on a guy for a good few years until one day I just let go of it all. It just happens, you just have to believe that one day you'll be over it. It happens to all of us, we will all move on. We just have to go in our own way and pace. Its exactly what you just wrote: we don't need to go back to the hurt anymore, its not about them, we really don't miss them anymore, we're the ones keeping ourselves in this limbo.

Even when I knew it was me who was causing my pain I couldn't let go, it just happens one day. I realised I was clinging to something that is not there anymore. It wasn't worth it anymore, I gave up.

This is the lesson that helped me in my recent break up, I was so hurt and started feeling 'hooked' again, fearing I wouldn't be able to move on. But then I reminded myself - this too shall pass. It has proven itself again and again and its only a matter of time.

I loved what your friend wrote to you. Its the truth. You have your own light!

I'm so happy you can finally see it. Congrats - you've come a long way and you'll be fine

[charity]

im so happy to read this too. i think that i am just starting to realize this now and it's such a relief to know that i have control over how i deal with my life. i have felt so out of control since we broke up. the sadness would catch me when i least expected it. but you are right. he had turned into an obsession for me and its time for it to stop now.

 

thanks for this refreshing post.