Jump to content

If you were a conservative catholic or protestant parent ..


Nkaleidoscopic

Recommended Posts

well , you sound alot nicer than my parents. I am getting married soon. It has just made me think weather its better to be honest about it or just pretend the whole way through.

 

once again, you sound alot nicer, and it's probably not indicative of what my experience will be if I 'come out'

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lots of people go ahead and have church weddings even if they aren't religious, because of tradition. You can have the wedding in a church, but write your own vows, or have a portion of the ceremony be religious and write your own vows for the rest.

 

Or compromise by having a minister officiate at the wedding, but have the wedding somewhere else and have your own vows totally written by yourself.

 

A lot depends on what religion you are, and how rigid your parents are... some will flip out and never leave the person alone again, constantly pestering them about religion and trying to get them to come back to the church. Others will be upset at first, but respect their child's right to make their own decisions. And some may not be happy, but will take the news with love and acceptance and not force their opinions on the child.

 

So I'd think long and hard about how your parents will react, how rigid they are, how inflexible in their beliefs etc. Unless you OBJECT to a church wedding or having a minister/priest, then it might be easier to wed in the church if the parents will go nuts if you refuse, but it is your wedding and you have to decide which will be worse, the upheaval if you don't marry in a church, vs. the feelings of being upset marrying in a church you don't believe in.

 

And look at it this way, if you're an atheist and have no god you will offend by either choice, make the choice you think best all around, and then don't worry about it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I probably wouldn't but if told I probably would flip out, but because I'd be hurt and scared for them (in accordance with beliefs held).

 

I guess it all comes down to how important it is for the parent to know this.

 

My parents are Catholic, and there's no way I'm telling them I'm not straight. They can guess and I think they have, but I have no interest in sitting them down and having that conversation. Somethings just don't need to be said.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It all depends on your relationship with your parents. Only you really know how they would react.

 

I'm not too up on religion, but (I'm sure I'll be corrected if I am wrong!) but don't Catholics believe that if you don't accept God, then you are bound for Hell? Your parents may or may not have this believe, but maybe you could start the conversation with them asking the question, "What happens to people that do not believe the same things you do?" and then play out the rest of the conversation from there.

 

I do think that it is important for them to know, because deceit always has a way of catching up with people.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I personally wouldn't judge my child or hold their beliefs against them...but that's the irony of all religions. Most religions promote peace and non-judgement (God's the only judge, etc. etc.) and then most conflict, in families and in the world is about religion. If you don't believe what *they* believe, you're out! That's always been very ironic to me and difficult to understand. Religion is even such a touchy topic that a lot of threads are closed here because the judgement/opinions/who's right/etc. interferes with reasonalbe conversation. Best wishes to you no matter what you decide to do. My advice is to share your personal beliefs when you know that you will be accepted with love and compassion by the person/people you are sharing with, or that you can at least have a 'healty debate' and come out with no hurt feelings.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think that choosing not to tell the parents is deceit at all. As an adult you are entitled to think and do what you please.

 

You wouldn't call it deceit if you didn't tell your parents that last night you got a blow job and had anal sex with your wife if they are people who only approve of sex in the missionary position. They don't need to know every detail of your life and beliefs just because they are your parents.

 

What one does and doesn't tell parents is at the adult's discretion and is not deceit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think that choosing not to tell the parents is deceit at all. As an adult you are entitled to think and do what you please.

 

You wouldn't call it deceit if you didn't tell your parents that last night you got a blow job and had anal sex with your wife if they are people who only approve of sex in the missionary position. They don't need to know every detail of your life and beliefs just because they are your parents.

 

What one does and doesn't tell parents is at the adult's discretion and is not deceit.

 

IF the OP goes ahead and has a church wedding so as his parents do not find out that he is an atheist, then I would consider that deceit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 Effective Christian Parenting Tips
6 Effective Christian Parenting Tips

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...