Jump to content

love him but like him


treehouse7888

Recommended Posts

I Have Feelings For Someone Else Wh...
I Have Feelings For Someone Else While In a Relationship

You love your boyfriend. You have to think, its ok to have a small crush as long as you dont act on it and start an affair or start cheating.

 

You have to ask yourself...is everything ok with your boyfriend? If so why are you looking elsewhere?

 

Whenever I'vee been truly happy with someone else I've found others attractive but never developed anything like a crush.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How would you feel if you knew your boyfriend was crushing on another girl? Would you be upset? If so, then think about that every time you think about this other guy.

 

If you would not be upset - this relationship may have 'run its course'.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Having been the victim of being cheated on several times, this might come accross as a little harsh, but you need to stop talking to this other guy RIGHT NOW. You've already let temptation get a foot in the door, and if you move forward, it will progress into something more. Do that and you will be in a lose-lose situation full of heartache and pain for EVERYONE involved. Everyone has their own secrets, but things like this can very easily destroy a relationship and the hearts of everyone involved. Continue forward with this other guy and you WILL break your boyfriend's heart. He has entrusted his precious heart to you with complete trust that you will do your best to take care of it. You are NOT doing a good job of it right now. It's not a matter of figuring out how to separate your feelings. It's about being faithful and honest with the people you claim to love.

 

Turn the tables here...what if you found out that your boyfriend had a crush on another girl? What if that crush had been going on for months and he ended up leaving you for it? Does that leave you with a warm fuzzy feeling? Because that is EXACTLY what you are doing to him.

 

Take this out to its natural progression...let's say you keep doing what youre doing and you allow your feelings to develop. One way or another your boyfriend will find out, even if it's just "a gut feeling" he gets. Then you'll have to choose. This new guy that you really don't know all that well, or your boyfriend who you CLAIM to love very much who now can no longer trust you.

 

I don't doubt your confused...but if you truly love your boyfriend like you claim to do, block this other guy out of your life completely. If you don't, you don't understand the meaning of commitment and shouldn't be in a relationship anyway, and certainly don't deserve a boyfriend that has committed to you.

 

Again, sorry this is harsh, but cheaters suck, and you are walking a dangerous path in that direction...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you love your boyfriend this is the main thing.

You can like whoever you want. Perhaps the friend can see the the spark in you and throws in a little flirtation to compliment you. You are the gatekeeper to your heart. If you feel strong in your relationship then there is no problem.

A little crush is not a bad thing as it makes you realise there may be something to work on with your boyfriend.Nothing serious yet but pay attention and try to fix it in your relationship.

The key is to not move closer with the crush man.

 

Perhaps the friend is mentally offering you something that is missing in your love relationship. My advice is to step back from your crush man and see why you feel the way you do.Then patch it with your boyfriend. We have to sometimes step back and put things into perspective.

If you dont flirt back that is good..you are still dgnified.I think you are an intelligent person and you can work this out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

scorpio i think you went a bit too far, i never cheated on my boyfriend, sure i talk to the guy but i never cheated.i just said i like him a little which i don't like. i dont want to like him. but i just feel that way!

 

Dont dwell on what you said. Its time to grab this by the throat right now!! You like him but love your boyfriend.Think about it. You dont like the way you feel...time to step back right now before you get sucked into seduction..after reading this..Cut the the crush guy off. It may feel a bit wrong but you have a long term relationship to protect. If the crush guy is any good at all then he will be noble about it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You're not "talking" to this guy - you are flirting with him. I talk to guys every single day - friends, acquaintances, strangers, coworkers. I would stop telling yourself you're "talking." Flirting is fine - as long as it's harmless flirting - so yes you can talk to other men, but flirting that isn't harmless is not cheating but is playing with fire, going down a path that can't end well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

yea but i joke around so anything doesnt go far

 

 

anyway i'll keep my distance, thanks for the advice guys

 

The problem is that it is not harmless because you have feelings - that is where the playing with fire comes in. time to look at what is missing from your relationship. good for you for deciding to keep your distance - good luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The problem is that it is not harmless because you have feelings - that is where the playing with fire comes in. time to look at what is missing from your relationship. good for you for deciding to keep your distance - good luck!

 

Exactly...he is feeding gasoline and you are the fire...back off ..good choice.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

scorpio i think you went a bit too far, i never cheated on my boyfriend, sure i talk to the guy but i never cheated.i just said i like him a little which i don't like. i dont want to like him. but i just feel that way!

 

I'm not accusing you of cheating...I'm saying that you're walking a very dangerous line that will very likely lead to cheating.

 

I'm glad you're choosing to back off. My guess is that it won't be too easy, but we're here if you need to vent.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Cut of all contact with the other guy because its crossing appropriate boundaries and thereforee it isnt fair to your boyfriend whom you "love so much" to have this guy in your life..

 

I can understand being flattered by the new guy and enjoying the excitement of a crush etc but those are the things we sacrifice when we love another.. and if you really think about how much you value your boyfriend.. then its really not much of a "sacrifice" at all...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just want to add that the ability to develop a crush on someone we are around often(even if we are in a happy relationship) is not unusual whatsoever. These feelings can happen & do not at all have to mean you do not feel 100% for your boyfriend.

 

Key as others have said, is to eliminate or minimize contact starting immediately. If this other person sensed your attraction to him & decided to play it up you might find yourself in tempting situations that you do not need to be in. Even if the former never happens, just out of sheer respect for your current relationship/bf your contact would best be cut off or extremely limited with this other person.

 

Also remember that crushes are mostly based on fantasy and idealistic ideas... As we get to know people we always see another more realistic side to them. That is the side where they maybe scratch their butt or have annoying quirks, or downright don't share important core values with you, etc...

 

Anyway - you sound very level headed. I'm sure you will handle it very well...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi,

It is a normal behavior, when you feel somebody is good.. and u still know who is best for you!

 

Its a kind of test.. you knw.. its a symptom of immaturity.. You love your BF.. and still you r enjoying the kind of flirt this guy play with you..

But its a opportunity to analyze.. y r u so?

 

Answers could be:

1) There is something you expect ur BF to do but you are searching the same in others now..

with this answer.. question you should ask yourself is.. does tht mean that you can also giv up such a good relation for such silly thoughts..

 

2) You might be bit immature at thoughts.. and hence, you r carried away..

with this you should question yourself, if you can overcome this immature behavior of yours.. because.. physical attraction in love never last for years to come.. its the kind of bond u hv with ur partner tht lasts...

Though you like that other guy flirts with you, but you still think of ur BF proves tht u have a great bond with him.. so dont be silly and just get through this test.. learn to be mature.. learn to keep ur limits.. learn to handle such ppl.. learn to make urself right..

 

In any case, the way you have express your thoughts about ur BF, makes me feel that u really have great feeling for him.. so please dont fall for any mistakes and ruin this relationship.. such flirts can be handled easily.. and you will definitly learn how to..

 

Al the best..

'Time to Learn!! Because this will help you a lot in long run!'

 

Take Care,

Best Regards,

Friend.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You can't let that one get away? Hmmm...

 

At any rate in my humble opinion, I think you are definitely asking for trouble. It's really hard to form a "balance" on our raw attraction emotions.

 

I agree with Maya on this 100% . Trying to have your cake and eat it too?

You know there is a saying that comes to my mind that an old man once told me... greed kills!!! Dont get greedy!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...