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theoretical: 2nd date - where to go?


Stinkweed

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Yeah, I went out with a girl this week and as the end of the week approached I've been thinking of asking her out again. The only thing was our "date" was very brief. We talked a lot, and I learned a lot about her, yet it feels like I didn't really make her laugh or anything. I mean, I'm not that good at this, I guess. Still I was thinking that if I'm able to get a hold of her and she did have time to go out again this upcoming week (we went out on thursday, so I was thinking of waiting til monday, maybe, to ask her out. Or should I do it on Sunday before the week begins? Either way would be okay with me just wondering which wouldn't look as if I'm not interested enough), where could we go? I want to do something that's a lot of fun, maybe. I'll ask some friends and see what they have to say too. But in general, what are good places/events/etc?

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Thank you so much for replying.

 

Forget about doing something she will find fun for a minute. What is it you want to do?

 

Have fun... There was nothing wrong with the first one, but I feel like WE could've had more fun if we had gone somewhere else. But I mean, since it was the first one I figured just talking about each other is okay, right? We talked a lot, lol. I dunno what to do for the 2nd one. Talk more and grab a quick coffee again? I dunno. I'm thinking about myself here, man. If we go and just grab coffee again, I'm afraid I will not know what to talk about anymore, lol. I am not the best at this... I asked her if she'd call me or if I'd call her and I think I remember her telling me to call her. I told her I would and I want to, but don't want to be all "uh, yeah, uh wanna go do something?"

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I don't wanna sound negative, but IF there is gonna be a 2nd date at all any time soon, I don't see it going well, lol. I feel like I exhausted everything I "know" on the first one. I mean, who was I kidding? This girl has dated before. Probably been in relationships. I have never done either (except for our short date). She doesn't know that, and doesn't have to, but what will she think about me, lol? If we were naive 14 year olds, I would be alright, but she's done this, has expectations. I kinda don't, and want to have a good time, but suck at this, lol, so it's hard for me to have a good time. Oh well, at least I can now say that I've been on a date.

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Wow dude talk about getting ahead of yourself. First relax. Second take her somewhere you feel comfrotable and somewhere you enjoy that way you will be more relaxed.

 

Second quit seeking this girls attention. Man you have neediness all over you. Youre "afraid", "not the best", "asking her.."

 

You need to get in there and just enjoy yourself, quit waiting for her approval.

 

Do me a favour. Call her up and ASK her on a date. Say "I am going to XYZ so why dont you come and join me."

 

Have a fun activity you like and invite her along. Forget about making a special date for her sake. Trust me on this.

 

Its better for you in the long run. A) it is something you enjoy and are comfortable with so you will be relaxed B) SHe is going to find out who you are sooner or later so you mighgt as well be upfront. If she likes your hobbies, interests etc or at least is supportive of you doing them you have a keeper. If shes not then dump her butt.

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I don't think you understood me. Not really getting ahead of myself or feeling needy. In fact, part of me says I shouldn't date. I'm not good at this (dating, not pleasing girls), and I sometimes feel like I shouldn't call her, and if it weren't cause I said I would, I'm pretty certain I wouldn't. Am I not somewhat into this girl? Yes. Did I have a good time on that first date? Sure. Do I think I have the energy and (social) skills to put into the work it takes to keep this going? Not really... I wasn't too worried about her liking me. I showed my interest on her, there were some silent moments, though, and I frankly did not care, I knew I was doing what I could to show that I was interested on getting to know her (I asked plenty of questions, and she asked about me too). There's a difference between believing you're not good enough for a specific girl (which I damn well know I am) vs thinking you suck at dating (some people suck at tennis, others at driving cars, others at dating. Are you seriously suggesting that I should "be myself," cause if you are then I will not put an ounce of energy into this, and it's gonna be a really uncomfortably quiet date, cause I'm actually a quiet, reserved shy guy. Like I said, maybe I'm just not cut out for this).

 

It's not just about THIS girl, man. It's about girls in general and how much my social skills suck and how my dates are guaranteed to be mediocre because of that (for both ME and the girl). It's why I asking how to meet other girls in hopes that the more I talk to them the better I'll get at this... I whatever THIS is is nothing... We might not even go on a 2nd date or if we do it might not get past that. Just sayin... I never feel relaxed man. Very rarely do I... Even with friends, when around some of their other friends I feel defensive. Can't help it. Plus, my favorite things... I Don't expect any girl to want to partake on those. Please, seriously. I mean, when I partake in such activities there are pretty much no girls there and the ones that are there look unhappy like they're just there to please their boyfriend, and whatever...

 

I'll call her, I was just asking what I could take her to. I guess there's no answer. I mean, for example, do I like miniature golf? Do I think it'd be a good idea taking a girl to play it and learning how to play it and do I think I'd have a good time if I did? I think so...

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