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Lies and Betrayal...


yotop456
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My girlfriend and i have been in a serious relationship for 5 months. At first we fought quite a lot, but as the relationship progressed we adjusted and gave to each others needs. She had a lot of guy friends, which was something i was unused to in a relationship. Sure this spurred some insecurity & jealousy. She was also friends with two of her x's, which i made clear i was uncomfortable with. One time after a bad fight she even asked me if i was ok with her going to the movies with one of her x's????

About 2 months into our relationship i noticed her messaging a kid who lived a few states away, i didn't read much because she concealed it from my view and i didn't want to seem nosy. Later that night i logged into her my space and read the messages, they where the only ones in the trash, in attempt to hide them from me. The message was basically her bugging out over this kid because he was seeing so many girls. Then the last message stated how she confessed that she was just jealous. I brought the issue up the next day, trying to hide the fact i read the messages. She told me she used to have a thing for him. My thoughts where how could you have a thing for someone who lives in another state, and why would you be "jealous". I let it go and continuously checked her my space secretively without her knowing. I found that alot of messages they sent between each other where sent to the trash to hide from me. She forgot to empty the trash.

 

A month later i was talking to her and she was telling me all these funny pick up lines. I questioned where she got all of them. Moments later i was back on her myspace and noticed a bulletin from that kid i mentioned before.

The bulletin happened to state one of the pick up lines she told me. Then something urged me too go into her truthbox (A myspace app that allows you to anonymously comment how you feel about that person). To my surprise there was a long list of comments back and forth from my girlfriend to this kid. The first comment from my girlfriend stated " Lets talk through here so my boyfriend doesn't find out". Thats all i remember but they where flirtatious comments. This infuriated me and upset me so much, i really wasn't expecting this betrayal it was so out of know where. I could barely speak to her. Her excuse was she wanted to lead him on then stop talking to him like he did to her in the past. Also she hid it from me and betrayed my trust because "she didn't want to hurt me, and she knew i didn't like this kid". She was a wreck so was i. She begged not to end the relationship. I broke it off because i figured if she betrayed my trust how will i ever trust her again? It was to hard, i told her i would give her a 2nd chance and we decided we would try and make it work.

 

After a few weeks of anger,resentment, and much communication, she dropped all her guy friends to try and make me feel better. I told her that's not what i want, the only thing i want is trust. She would give up anything to be with me. I cant be happy though if im paranoid.

 

After a month or 2 things became stable again, yet i didn't really feel the spark like i used too. There was this one guy who she remained friends with, who really angered me because he always checked her out. She knew he did too. Eventually she told him they cant be friends because its interfering with our relationship, i asked if she had the instant message saved, she replied no.

A few weeks later (2 days ago from when this is being typed), I was at her house and we where on her laptop. I asked her again if she had the convo between her and the guy who she terminated the friendship with. She said no once again. While we where in her documents i noticed a folder called aim logger, which is where aim (aol instant messenger) logs all your instant messages. I went in the folder and noticed all the im logs where deleted except for mine and another girl. I asked her if she deleted them and she said no and she got very defensive. She started crying and saying why don't you believe me. The evidence was right in front of us. Before you knew it " i didn't delete it " turned into " i might have deleted it i don't remember" then turned into " i deleted it ". she lied repeatedly right to my face i couldn't believe it. I then restored the deleted im logs from her trash bin. She explained how she left some detail out of the story about how she ended her friendship with this guy. She showed me the im, She used my name when telling him off saying "my boyfriend doesn't want me to have guy friends" or something like that which isn't exactly true. This according to her is why she deleted the I'ms, she didn't want me too know she lied and didnt tell me the full story.

I was infuriated and upset she lied once again betraying my trust. She was crying alot and i told her i was going to leave. She kept asking me if i was going to break up with her, i told her i don't know. I then stated "i don't deserve to be lied too and hurt so much, as soon as i started gaining trust in you again you managed to screw it up". Her excuse was once again, i lied because i didn't want to hurt you. I told her its getting old i deserve better. She then told me she wouldn't do it again. I left very coldly telling her where on a break for a week.

Another issue i forgot to mention was the fact that she thinks i spend to much time with my friends, and that i should spend more time with her in ratio to my friends. The truth is i want to be with my friends, shes a bit clingy and find i need my space a lot.

Anyway, it is currently 2 days into the break and i am not sure whether I should end it or try and make things work. I am attached to her and it would hurt a lot to let her go. She really loves me, but sometimes i just feel like i want to be with my friends instead of her. Also this lying is only going to breed more insecurity this isn't good...

Any advice

By the way i am 16 and shes 2 years younger.

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Maybe you guys are not quite ready to be in a relationship. It seems like she is looking for an ego boost from people outside of your relationship. She might feel like she is not getting enough attention from you. And you seem like right now you rather be hanging out with your friends. Which is perfectly fine because you are only 16. Save the heart ache and let her go.

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You are 16 she is 14!! you need to be out disgracing your family name, and she needs to learn to tell the truth. You seem much more mature. I suggest you leave this relationship and play the field for a bit. Not because your young, but because you wont understand now, but at 16 you don't need ties like this!!

 

Jason

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You are 16 she is 14!! you need to be out disgracing your family name, and she needs to learn to tell the truth. You seem much more mature. I suggest you leave this relationship and play the field for a bit. Not because your young, but because you wont understand now, but at 16 you don't need ties like this!!

 

Jason

 

fantastic, yeah i agree you should be ruining women for good men, you little

stud!!!! but all joking aside, make sure you do it safely, wear a

condom, "be health safe, and anti baby at a stupid age safe"

 

dont stick with this chick, she going to hurt you real bad and at your age, yeesh you will not need that, you would be like a dog with a bone, and you will hurt like f@&*%$%^(**ck, so at your early years get wise and drop her like shes hot! capiche....

 

jahur also jason (thats my real name ta da!!!!!!!)

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Heh, dump her. Hey, you're young, go out and be with your buddies, and enjoy life.

 

At your age, girls come and go. Your GF is playing the field (and she's playing you, don't think for a moment that she 'loves' you or whatever she's saying, she doesn't). She just wants the comfort and security of having a BF while she enjoys the excitement and attention she's getting from other guys on the side).

 

Flirt with other girls, work on your dating game and your social skills - unlike a cheating GF, those are going to be with you for life.

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]you need to be out disgracing your family name

 

Jason

 

LOL .. i got a kick out of that ...

 

anyway, this young girl likes attention and is probably insecure .. doesn't mean she'll cheat but fact is, she's a liar ... lying should never be tolerated .. i used to forgive an ex because he would always say "i lied because i love you .. i lied to preserve our relationship" ... then i realized that simply translated into "i am selfish .. i don't respect you enough to be honest and let you decide what to do with me" ... you're young, and you should be having fun with friends and enjoying yourself (safely) .. she needs to learn to stop lying ... so leave her and teach her this very important lesson ... she had her chance .. maybe you guys can date in the future after she is as mature as you are ..

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