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Call me ridiculous, I don't care


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I haven't been here, on ENA, in weeks. I haven't cried over the ex in two months. Two incredible months perched on cloud nine, being over this jerk who dumped me, the past month of which I have developed feelings for someone new and he likes me too, and we're going with it. So why on earth did I cry today when I read what I read.

 

There is this stupid thing going around on facebook where you list "25 random facts about yourself" and tag people in them. I noticed a bunch of my friends had been tagged, so I clicked on the posted item and what do you know, it was written by none other than my ex. I am DEEPLY, I mean horribly disturbed by what I read. I can't help but think he is seriously trying to screw with my brain. Maybe it's just me being hurt, I don't know, but I don't understand why he would divulge such personal information when everyone else writes "I Like Tacos!" Here's a sick little sample of what he wrote, and my input on all of this in bold.

 

1. I am happy.

(OK.....Why exactly did you list this as the number one random fact about yourself? Rub it in some more why don't you.)

 

3. I have met the most amazing woman. I don't know what the future has in store, what I do know is that I wouldn't trade the present for anything.

(I guess the woman he is with now....the one who's 14 years older....isn't just a screw buddy anymore. And he's not embarrassed to admit that he's with her anymore. Awesome.)

 

10. I've learned that I need to worry about me. I've always worried about other people too much and lately it's done nothing but bite me in the ass. It's a lesson I'm learning, slowly, but surely.

(oh, really? It bit YOU in the A?! Cause I'm pretty sure you quit worrying about me long before you left. There is honestly no one else in his life, unless he's speaking of the past 3 months, that this could pertain to, except me. What a crock of crap, and way to share it on facebook.)

 

11. I don't think I'm going to get married or have kids. The more I think about it, the more I realize that life isn't for me.

(This new woman you're with is completely rubbing off on you....what in the hell are you going through. I swear to god, all my ex ever wanted up until now was to be married and have a family and be a stay at home dad, he asked me to marry him and have his kids, he talked about it before we were even together! I am deeply, sorely confused by this statement. This is so eerie to me.)

 

14. This summer I am going to be a certified skydiver. No matter what it takes, it's happening.

(This was our thing we were going to do together. I took him for his first and only skydiving trip for his bday in July. Good to know he's still planning on becoming certified without me, glad you can do it on your own. You are completely heartless, you know that right. Here's to hoping we're not in the same class or I might kill you.)

 

15. Some people say I'm selfish. To an extent I would agree with them. I'm selfish because I know what I want and I'm not in a position to waver for someone who doesn't want to advance with me.

(I called him selfish after he broke up with me. Not because he broke up with me, but because he is just that.....incredibly selfish. I'm so so so hurt that he thinks that I "didn't want to advance with him".....I WAS THE ONE WHO PUSHED HIM. How could you say that about me. Cause anyone who reads that KNOWS that "someone" is me. Thanks a lot.)

 

 

I try to look at things from both sides of the picture, always always always. I am a completely fair person. I realize that things aren't about me anymore, they never will be again. But when I read something like this, things so personal, so out there for anyone (*ahem* ME) to stumble upon, I can't help but hate him for it. I can't help but read into it and make it about me, because it SO BLATANTLY IS.

 

The worst part is, I'm letting it get to me. How do I not let this get to me? As if bringing his new "amazing woman" around and letting her climb all over him right in front of me isn't enough, now he's gotta smear all the rest of these things in my face because there's no other way he will communicate with me than this. Third party. That's fine, I want nothing to do with him. But I DO NOT deserve to be spoken of like that, especially on facebook, in such an obvious manner.

 

 

Sorry if this was incredibly immature. I really don't have too many people who would want to listen to me anymore. I haven't been upset in what seems like eternity. 1 1/2, 2 months, that's a long time to not be sad over someone you loved so much. Now it's like....why. Just why.

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Ouch.

 

I totally know how you are feeling right now. It's like a stab to the heart.

I'm not gonna bash you because I would've read something like that too..........BUT for the future...........don't read his lame attempts at attention anymore!!!!!

 

You were doing so well........so pick up where you left off and keep doing well

 

Remember, the best revenge is living well!

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There is nothinig I read that seems very personal. Just the same stuff most people write, except the skydiving thing. I think you're reading waaay to much into this. And even if it was directed towards you, he won. He got you upset. Game, set, and match, him.

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I am sorry you saw this. But the fact is that he is your ex. Are you sure that he wrote these things to hurt you or is it just because he is getting on with his life and this is where he is at now?

 

Suppose he gets married - would that be to spite you or hurt you?

 

I think it is important for you to look to the future with your new boyfriend and not look back to a relationship that ended badly for you.

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Thanks, to both of you. a_far, thanks for understanding how I feel. thejigsup, you're probably right. I'm not going to let this upset me anymore, I vented here, I'm done.

 

Of course

 

Sometimes that's all it takes, is a little venting. Then you are like WHEW!

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I am sorry you saw this. But the fact is that he is your ex. Are you sure that he wrote these things to hurt you or is it just because he is getting on with his life and this is where he is at now?

 

Suppose he gets married - would that be to spite you or hurt you?

 

I think it is important for you to look to the future with your new boyfriend and not look back to a relationship that ended badly for you.

 

Very true words DN. He's got his life, and I've got mine.

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Hey there,

 

I think the other posters have valid points, however In my opinion if someone is truly happy they don't go shouting about it and all the things they found out to get there. A happy person just gets on with their life and brings joy to others.

 

This list obviously had hints of the past and I believe it did have and underlying intent to hurt. They just seem odd facts to post about yourself. They are not even facts if you look closely. When you write these facts it is like 1 I am 25 years old, 2 I have blonde hair, 3 I have a secret passion for motorcross.......etc they are facts not 'I don't think I am going to have kids... thats speculation and not really what these things are about. They are about light hearted things you might not know about your friends. People have these games so they can find out if you have a heart tattoo on your ass not if your selfish or not. In my opinion this has purpose.

 

From reading your past posts and knowing how much you struggled when I first came on here I think you have come so far. You have always handled yourself with dignity, like at that party. I think he is mad because you are getting over him.

 

In my opinion a break up is like a war, neither wants the other side to do well, get over the breakup and be happy. Lets be honest- thats the truth! You have stopped caring about your ex and are walking in the opposite direction. He does not want that. So what better way than to cause a reaction. Facebook is a tool of tourtue. I would suggest you defriend him. Don't think this makes you look bitter, it is just the best thing for you to move on. My ex used facebook to get at me. I know this for sure. People can get away with it because like the other posters say, he is just getting on with his life and he is doing nothing wrong. TRUE. But this is a subtle underhand way of getting a reaction. I have no doubt.

 

You have been doing so well so don't let this get to you. PLEASE remove him from facebook. Your doing so well and are an inspiration to all of us. Keep it up xx

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There is nothinig I read that seems very personal. Just the same stuff most people write, except the skydiving thing. I think you're reading waaay to much into this. And even if it was directed towards you, he won. He got you upset. Game, set, and match, him.

 

I agree with thejigsup on this one.

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You have been doing so well so don't let this get to you. PLEASE remove him from facebook. Your doing so well and are an inspiration to all of us. Keep it up xx

 

Thanks fiffy, that was a very thoughtful response. I have indeed removed him from my facebook, I deleted him two days after the break-up. But we have about 145 friends in common so it's easy to bump into him here and there. I blocked him at first, but then I unblocked him because it's easier for me to just see stuff that he's written on friends' pages rather than wonder if he ever did or not. Weird but true.

I'm not going to let this bother me anymore. I agree with both sides here, that it may have been written to provoke me, or to make me feel like crap (because apparently he loves to make me feel this way), and at the same time, he may have done a little soul-searching and wanted to share it with his 600 friends on facebook. Who knows.

What I do know is, when I dumped my ex-ex, I did cruel things like log onto facebook and myspace and make these same posts with similar innuendos. That I don't care about him anymore, that I'm happy with my new boyfriend (who happens to be this ex hahaha) and that I've got the world going for me. Truth is, what was going through my mind was really messed up. I wanted to make him feel like the bad guy, like I was forced to break up with him (totally not true) and yeah, I still had major feelings for him. Of course I've grown up since then. But I guess since I've been there, I sort of turned all of those "facts" that my ex wrote about himself to be something to get to me. At the same time....everyone is different. I'll never know, it really doesn't matter. Funny how out of everyone who has posted that stupid 25 facts thing he is the only one who hasn't received a single comment from a friend....Everyone else's was blown up with comments about how they "Don't find Will Ferrell funny" or "Are obsessed with putting ketchup on their macaroni and cheese."

 

Ha.

 

 

Thank you SighSob, for your response as well....again, I can see it that way too.

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There is nothinig I read that seems very personal. Just the same stuff most people write, except the skydiving thing. I think you're reading waaay to much into this. And even if it was directed towards you, he won. He got you upset. Game, set, and match, him.

 

Yea I agree. I know you are sensitive over it, but in this case overly so. Nothing he wrote was damaging or particularly personal. I expected it to be something really bad like professing deep love for another girl or something.

 

BTW i hate facebook. LOL I wish i could say otherwise but it seems that instead of being a site that makes people happy, it seems a site where people like to rub in this so called wonderful life to the outside world and when someone has a break up they don't do much good. I have found that people I know with these accounts seem to always 'glamorize' their life but when you really know them you realize 'these pics and declarations all over their page don't really seem much like the real person'.

 

I know this is not true in all cases, but all too many times it is the truth.

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Jeez ketchup on maccaroni and cheese....this really kills me...

 

That tastes delicious. Ah, memories from my childhood... (I don't do it anymore, but now that I'm thinking about it...)

 

I don't see anything very personal in there either. People's desires and wants change all the time... if anything, I would see the "I don't want marriage/kids" part as a good thing. That means he can't see it happening in his life RIGHT NOW, which probably means he doesn't want it with the woman he's with. I bet if they do stick together for a long time, that want will creep back up, and then it'll drive a wedge between them. I always look for the worst in every relationship involving an ex. Just because they're together doesn't mean they're happy, just because they get married doesn't mean there won't be divorce, etc etc. lol

 

You have to expect people's perspectives to change after a break-up, too. It's usually one of the greatest motivating factor in people to change.

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BTW i hate facebook.

 

Me too. lol. The only reason I have one is because it's a fantastic way to keep in touch with people I graduated from high school with, people I went to different universities with, as I've been several places already. Then comes the drama.

 

Thanks for your advice.

 

 

I would see the "I don't want marriage/kids" part as a good thing. That means he can't see it happening in his life RIGHT NOW, which probably means he doesn't want it with the woman he's with. I bet if they do stick together for a long time, that want will creep back up, and then it'll drive a wedge between them.

 

I agree. I really wouldn't be surprised if he snaps out of this in a few years and is back to his old "I am dying to be a stay-at-home dad" self. He has done a complete 180 in so many aspects and this is just one of them that really struck me, something I thought I would never hear him say. Even if he did want to get married and have kids with this woman, I can't see that happening. She's 36. He's 22. No way.

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Gee, Fran, don't those comments sound as though they were written by someone who found out his ex has a new BF?

 

Hi Cat

 

Those comments sound, to me of course, as though they were written by someone who just found out his ex has a guy in her life. The new guy being a mutual friend, who he sees and works with, every weekend. Ahahaha.

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Hi Cat

 

Those comments sound, to me of course, as though they were written by someone who just found out his ex has a guy in her life. The new guy being a mutual friend, who he sees and works with, every weekend. Ahahaha.

 

Yep, that's what I thought. Sucks to be him.

 

See, if he were really all that fabulous, he wouldn't have needed to work it so hard. I saw the numbering--there was a lot you left out. Probably took him half a day to concoct that tome.

 

Head high!

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