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Well... just when I thought nothing could get worse, well, it did...

 

Ok, there is a girl that i've liked the whole year, now i'm just going to spit everything out that made me think that she likes me... she always looks deep into my eyes when we talk, she holds out her hand, taps me on my leg or arm, tugs my backpack, hugs me, sits at lunch with me, is alwyas the first to talk on AIM, i have her number, we *planned* to hang out, etc...

 

Well, i have made a big mistake... i was talking to some of the girls that are good friends of mine and they said GO FOR IT, but yet i had no idea, i thought maybe it was just a friendship, and i am a little shy at times... Well I had waited too long and she now has a boyfriend, as of yesterday, i found out at school when she was there too, but i'm emotionally strong so I don't show emotion, but it was just tearing me up inside me... Looks like I made a HUGE mistake... She now knows that I know about her boyfriend, and i asked her how things were going, she said "it is alright"

 

Now for where I need the advice... Do I cold shoulder her until she sees that she made a mistake and lost a friendship (now that may not be the best idea, lol, but i was curious if it was even worth a try) or should i remain friends with her, and when and if she breaks up with him, should i gradually do stuff with her? Or what if we become best friends and she sees me as a brother, and that wouldn't be good, that's why i want to know if i should hold off or not... I'm not too sure what to do, I bet after I type it none of it will make sense, but if anyone has ANY advice, I am all for it, thanks a lot!!!!!!!!

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wow, sorry to hear that you have gone through this awful situation...i totally feel you on this one, REAL BADD on that... Sometimes by us being shy can be such a big obstacle, it can wind up hurting us so much more in what we seem to think is the very end. My question is,...how can she feel that she has made a mistake, when u NEVER expressed your feelings to her, in the first place? Shurely she wasnt suppost to read ur mind, that you care for her MORE than just friends...was she? That would be unfair to both of you, especially for her to continue waiting on you to open up your feelings. As far as she knew,...u were just "friends" and could have been in a relationship already. Out of respect, she did not question you, or tried to pursue anything further. That would have been my approach.

 

Its hard to judge if someone cares sometimes, when they show mixed signals, especially if its their nature to be friendly...which could very well be the situation with u guys. We females are afraid of rejection as well. If you do like her, and since its the very beginning stages of a relationship with her dating another, (and maybe too soon for deep feelings to have developed), i think its tyme 4 u to get buzy and let her know how u feel, in a non threatening way to her new beau, and in such a way that if she DID care...it would at least let her know that ur there...as u always have been...

 

It may just surprise you, that she felt the same as well...

 

Dont shut the door to ur friendship. Why? if u care about her, u´ll just miss her that much more, and feel sappy inside when u can be havin innocent, yet heartfelt fun with her just as u always have...as her goood friend. I have alot of guys that i call my brother, and could never think of having a relationship with them...if i do grow closer with sumbody, the last category id place him in is that of a brother however. Thas for shure...

 

good luck...please keep us posted...i love hearing successful relationship stories haha...

 

 

 

 

cookies

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Hey, that is brutal. As for what to do, definitely do not break off the friendship. There is no point in loosing a good friend over this. If you remain strong and let her know how you feel about her, she will maybe agree with you and look for ways that she can break it off with ber new boyfriend, or if he should ever hurt her (not physically bu emotionally) she will come to you and you can comfort her, and there she will realize that you are the one that she truly wants.

 

Best of luck, I hope that everything works out for you and you prevail.

 

John Doe

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Just a follow-up to the previous posts... Yes, I did tell her how I feel, but that has been awhile ago, and she has brought it up many times by saying "yeah, when you used to like me." I guess she thought I'm not persistent or I change feelings or just wanted to hear that i liked her or something? Ok, as I type this, I am talking to her, I asked her what's up, and she said she is hanging out with her boyfriend, eh. Well then she said, I'm going to switch sn's brb. So she switches screennames and then signs off immediately... I don't know. Just thought I'd bring it up, god this sucks. I could be the one with her, but b/c of the choices I made, I'm not. Well anyways, I think I should have told her more that I liked her and actually gone to do something with her. This time I won't make that same mistake! In the end, yes it was my mistake, I will definetely keep you guys posted! Thanks a lot!

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That's terrible idon! I can understand your pain.

 

My advice is not to give up on her. As mentioned, she has just started this relationship with her bf. What if he's the wrong guy? Be there for her when she falls.

 

In the meantime, make her see that you are concerned for her even if she's attached. Don't give up till you see that ring on her finger.

 

Good luck dude.

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