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Am I always gonna be alone?


ForeverZero
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I've seen many people who say Don't look for love, it'll find you!! and stuff like that, well I can see that making sense for someone who ISN'T in my situation...

 

Basically what it boils down to is I have Asperger's Syndrome which is a form of Autism, and one of the things associated with AS is that they "experience difficulties in basic elements of social interaction, which may include a failure to develop friendships and relationships"

 

I'm not sure if this means I won't be able to find the right person for me or what but if anyone can offer some advice I would greatly appreciate it, also if something doesn't make sense feel free to ask me

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I've briefed myself a bit on your condition. Don't let this illness get in the way of finding someone. There is something wrong with all of us to one degree or another and if you're a good at heart individual then you probably have more to offer that special lady than most guys out there today. If you're interested in someone pursue them afterall you only live once and you don't want to regret your behavior 10 or 20 years down the line. Also, be honest with the people you date about your condition and you may have 9 our of 10 people who might get intimidated by it and leave but be assured that you'll find that 1 in 10 in due time. Stay hopefull and positive and don't think about it too much and good things will come your way.

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I've briefed myself a bit on your condition. Don't let this illness get in the way of finding someone. There is something wrong with all of us to one degree or another and if you're a good at heart individual then you probably have more to offer that special lady than most guys out there today. If you're interested in someone pursue them afterall you only live once and you don't want to regret your behavior 10 or 20 years down the line. Also, be honest with the people you date about your condition and you may have 9 our of 10 people who might get intimidated by it and leave but be assured that you'll find that 1 in 10 in due time. Stay hopefull and positive and don't think about it too much and good things will come your way.

 

Wise words from someone who has no idea what people with Asperger's go through or what it's even like. Nice cop out all around.

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I have AS too so believe me when I say I know what you mean. I didn't get a gf until very recently and I believed it would never happen. However, I just took a chance and I met someone. I don't know how far it will go but that's not what matters.

 

I can assure you that not all women want the same thing so it stands to reason that you would be perfect for some girl. It's possible you could meet a girl with AS but you'll know as well as I do that they are rare as gold. You just have to remain hopeful but believe me, if you fixate on it, you will not help yourself.

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Hello. As somebody who knows a few people with your condition I can only tell you not to make it the center of your life.

 

It can happen that people with Autism or pretty much any illness/disorder plan their world based on their condition, it's the worse you can do, nobody is just an illness not even terminal patients so if you start defining yourself as "I'm John and I'm autistic" (for example) you are going to miss a great deal of the rest of your life.

 

Don't worry beforehand if Asperger's will interfere with something, face each situation as it comes and if one in particular gives you problems work on it as much as possible with your family or therapist (I guess you have one), focus on your "weaknesses" only if you can improve them.

 

No health issue can stop you from finding love and having a happy life if you (and the right kind of professional help) find the right balance.

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hi foreverzero --

 

i am a teacher who has worked with lost of kids with asperger's and kids with autism accross the spectrum.

 

don't give up on love. i know a lot about your medical condition and many of my former students have found love and happiness.

 

connecting with a true soul mate is a challenge for every person. my advice to you is to put yourself in as many situations as you can where you can be social without the specific goal of finding a significant other. you probably need to boost your social skills. join some kind of club, take a class, do volunteer work, go to church if that's your thing.

 

a person who feels more comfortable socially is more likely to be attractive to others.

 

btw -- i didn't get married until i was 40 years old so it's never too late for love!

 

also, there are so many other people out there in the same shoes as you, dealing with similar issues. so don't feel like you are all alone.

 

good luck and don't EVER give up hope!

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some people don't have the looks that most women want, so they resort to using their personality and using their humor, smarts, etc to stand out. you can't focus on a disease, disorder, etc as your life or your excuse. i have friends that try and use things like this as excuses for everything. 'i don't meet girls because i'm so skinny. i can't gain weight because of my metabolism.' bs, you don't gain weight because you eat once a day, you don't work out, you basically don't do anything about it. it's not an excuse for everything. if you let something like this run your life, i know it's tough not to believe this, but if you do, it will run your life.

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some people don't have the looks that most women want, so they resort to using their personality and using their humor, smarts, etc to stand out. you can't focus on a disease, disorder, etc as your life or your excuse. i have friends that try and use things like this as excuses for everything. 'i don't meet girls because i'm so skinny. i can't gain weight because of my metabolism.' bs, you don't gain weight because you eat once a day, you don't work out, you basically don't do anything about it. it's not an excuse for everything. if you let something like this run your life, i know it's tough not to believe this, but if you do, it will run your life.

 

 

I never said that I use it as an excuse but it is something that I have to deal with

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My son has autism. He keeps asking me if a woman will fall in love with him and marry him some day.

 

He's a very sweet guy. He just has trouble like you do with socializing or understanding other people's emotions. I think he would make a girl a wonderful husband. However its going to take a bit longer for him and you to find the right one.

 

I do believe that there is a right girl out there for you. I think you'll need to practice going on dates. Since it doesn't come easy for you, you need to try out things to say and what to do on dates. Maybe you can find a coach to go out and simulate a date if you feel uncomfortable practicing on a real date.

 

Over time you can learn how to react and talk with others and make eye contact. I agree with the second poster that you should probably let them know your condition. It will help eliminate the wrong women.

 

I hope this is helpful

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I've seen many people who say Don't look for love, it'll find you!! and stuff like that, well I can see that making sense for someone who ISN'T in my situation...

 

Basically what it boils down to is I have Asperger's Syndrome which is a form of Autism, and one of the things associated with AS is that they "experience difficulties in basic elements of social interaction, which may include a failure to develop friendships and relationships"

 

I'm not sure if this means I won't be able to find the right person for me or what but if anyone can offer some advice I would greatly appreciate it, also if something doesn't make sense feel free to ask me

 

 

i can empathize. i have OCD. the social anxiety is very similar. and i can't read non-verbal cues from other people a lot of the time.

 

yet i front a rock band. for some reason, i can read the cues of a group of people, just not individuals.

 

anyway, i just wanted to say that i feel you on this one.

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i can empathize. i have OCD. the social anxiety is very similar. and i can't read non-verbal cues from other people a lot of the time.

 

yet i front a rock band. for some reason, i can read the cues of a group of people, just not individuals.

 

anyway, i just wanted to say that i feel you on this one.

 

Thanks, good to know I'm not the only one (obviously I know I'm not, you get the idea)

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