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From boy who is a friend to boyfriend, can it be done??


highonyou

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I thought it could happen for a few days....

 

I've been single for a few months and for a while i have been attracted to a male friend of mine, we've known each other for a couple of years and we have so much in common.

 

We slept together twice, with a 2 week in between and exchanged a few text messages with him basically saying he likes me too and wants to takes things slowly which i thought was perfect as I haven't been single for very long. He said that he would tell me when he had some free time off work and then would could try a few dates.

 

Those messages and texts never came.

 

That was all happening the end of november through december. I was invited to his new years party but we didnt talk much there. I got a text from him at the beginning of january saying he only wanted to be friends since things were a bit crazy for him right now and maybe we could try in a month or two. He was especially worried about ruining our friendship and tainting our friends-in-common's relationships, but i've just been thinking "oh what the hell, we've already slept together"

 

Im working on a masters project right now which involves a big chunk of java programming which he is very good at, he promised he would help me since I suck at it very badly. But every time I ask for help he's always busy and will tell me he will get back to me.

 

And as I'm writing this it is becoming very clear he's just not that into me.

There doesnt seem to be much point in waiting around...

 

It would be nice if he told me he wasn't interested. Its all gone pear-shaped since he's been avoiding me. I'm a big girl, I can understand if he's not interested but avoiding me is pretty rude and damaging to our friendship.

 

So after that massive rant about the last 3 months, the question is....What on Earth do I do?!

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Talk to him and ask him about where he stands in regards to your relationship. If he is purposely avoiding you in an attempt to get the message accross that he isn't interested, he is doing exactly what he said he doesn't want to do---wrecking the friendship. Or even if he is truly busy and isn't ready for a relationship, he shouldn't keep you strung along, waiting for him.

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Are you sure its that he's not into you or is it that he's just scared? I've had a couple of relationships with friends, and it was a very real fear for me to get involved with them, even though I was attracted to them, because I truly did not want to ruin the friendship, but that's just my own personal experience. I can say that those two relationships were the most amazing and intense emotional experiences I've ever had because there was already an existing connection there.

 

First thing I would do is try to talk to him and see what's going on in his head, and don't try to second guess what he might be thinking or feeling...Obviously there's SOME kind of attraction there on both sides if you guys slept together...twice.

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The best way to judge if he's interested in you, is by not going backwards by sleeping with him first, and asking that question later.

 

How is sleeping with him twice already, taking things slowly?

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~ Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, And when you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance...I hope you dance. ~

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