Salucious Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I've been getting really frustrated with my current social life lately. I basically only have one good friend, my roommate. There are a few people in my major/classes in college that I am casual friends with, so it's not like I'm totally socially inept. What frustrates me is that I have no female friends. I'm 24 and never had a girlfriend/kissed/been on a date; which I think has contributed to my problem. I just don't think I have the kind of personality that girls are drawn to in a male friend. I see other guys that have lots of female friends and it makes me very jealous. Not that jealousy is the real problem, I genuinely wish I had female friends; for the companionship and I think it would help me socialize with girls better and help me get a date. When I see other guys having lots of female friends it makes me feel lonely and socially awkward. But I just don't know how to be the type of guy that girls like to be friends with; I've seen the types of guys that are like that but they are usually more attractive in general to girls, which helps them get friends. It's not that I'm too shy to talk to girls because I can, though I often don't know how to be "friendly" enough to become friends with any of them. Usually in the instances I do talk to girls, I think I come off as boring or weird. I've just never really gotten a good response from girls that I have talked to. (they will never really initiate conversation with me or seem interested). this is really bothering me because I feel like girls can't even like me enough to be a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Find the girl who has no friends and start there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Himynamesbob Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Just curious, what do you do for fun? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyboy22 Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I don't have an answer for you bro because im on the same page. If you figure out what girls want let me know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Skywalker Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 If you are in school, then you should try out extracirricular activities or groups that are offered. Find something that you are interested that you'll know people in common with that group. That way you'll find something that you are passionate about, or interests you, apart from girls, and get your validation from that. You'll also socialise with girls in that group too and will have something in common with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm2166 Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I used to also think that I didn't have an appealing personality. In my experience, I've come to realize that sometimes that very belief is what was limiting my social interactions and my options. They say to "be yourself" but sometimes that's not enough if you are a shy or introverted person. You have to be yourself loud enough for people to notice. Try engaging as many people as you can in conversation. Don't be afraid to be the one to suggest hanging out. Until they tell you to screw off or stop answering your calls, just assume that they think you are cool. And if people aren't kind, the chances are it's their problem, not yours. Also, don't assume you're coming off as boring and weird. The funny thing I've noticed is that when people think they'll come off as boring and weird, they tend to act boring and weird. Keep at it no matter how unsuccessful you are at first, because in time, you will start to get a feel for the social dynamics of girls. They are very confusing at first and hard for most guys to understand. More often than not the guys that do have a lot of chick friends are really attractive or just lucky. Hope this helps. Good luck and godspeed brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salucious Posted January 29, 2009 Author Share Posted January 29, 2009 Just curious, what do you do for fun? I'll go out to bars sometimes with my friend, though it isn't a favorite thing of mine to do. But the usual stuff I like: movies, bowling, shooting pool, in the summer I've started to play golf. I'm more of a home-body though, I like to rent movies and hang out with people at my house. I'm not really into parties, they make me uncomfortable because I'm not very social, it is just how I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr me Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I would maybe try to go to some things that arent so outside your comfort level. I think you might be able to go to plays, bookstores, museums, etc. I think the main thing is to not be afraid to talk to people. I think if you have had bad experiences you need to try to forget about them and try to end up having new experiences that actually end up better than those old ones. I would even try maybe an online dating site because it might be weird but you would be surprised. I think the main thing is that usually when things arent happening for you people end up trying to make things happen. Its just if you think about it you are trying to make something happen that isnt happening so the odds of it working i dont think are so great. Its really just trying to learn to be ok with letting things happen and that starts with if your able to think or believe that they actually will happen. I also think that storm had really good advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_styles Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I don't have an answer for you bro because im on the same page. If you figure out what girls want let me know. It always nice, in that unfortunate way, when you come accross the threads on eNA with people in the same boat. Pretty much exactly the same as Salucious from the age, a few of the habits, and yes some friends but none female or looking like having any soon. (yeah sorry as you can tell I'm a bit of devoid of tips either but this thread interests me) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I'll go out to bars sometimes with my friend, though it isn't a favorite thing of mine to do. But the usual stuff I like: movies, bowling, shooting pool, in the summer I've started to play golf. I'm more of a home-body though, I like to rent movies and hang out with people at my house. I'm not really into parties, they make me uncomfortable because I'm not very social, it is just how I am. you just named pretty much all your problems here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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