Jump to content

Am I Dating a Tool?


sbux_addict
When He Says He Wants Space | Begin...
When He Says He Wants Space | Beginner's Guide

Recommended Posts

Been seeing each other for about 4 weeks. Over the weekend, we almost did the deed, but I said no because I wasn't ready and I didn't feel comfortable with him yet. He said, he respects that and he's willing to wait.

 

Had a "Where is this going?" conversation over dinner last night, and I told him that I see this relationship potential progressing into long-term. He said we're on the same page.

 

He dropped me off, and we were in the heat of the moment. I was having doubts, and I said, maybe we should do it. And then he said, maybe we should wait until the right moment. He left and that was it. He wanted to hang out tomorrow I said I was going to let him know. Then, he asked if I could send him a picture of me, and I was like, ok.

 

For some reason, I got a weird vibe from him. He usually sends me a text message in the morning, but so far...nothing.

 

So, I don't know, I know it's only been a day, but usually if you have that talk, don't you usually want to keep the momentum going?

 

Or am I just dating a tool?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't know why. We took a picture together when we hung out over the weekend, and I told him, "Well, you already have a picture of me." And then he said, well, that's a picture of you and me, I want just your picture.

 

And I can't remember the whole entire conversation, but then he joked something like a naked picture of me. Anyway, weird.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

>> then he joked something like a naked picture of me.

 

NO, NO, NO!! don't send him a naked picture... that is too weird on all levels considering you haven't even had sex, and is not a wise idea under any circumstances unless you are married to a person and trust them enough not to break up with you and post the picture on the web somewhere.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, I think his asking, joking or not, for a naked pic could be his way of saying that since you won't give it up he's going to have to "use" your pic to help himself out..., that plus the weird vibe you got, plus his not texting in the a.m. like he typically would, add up to , well, ick.

 

I'd definitely get to know him better before you take things to the bedroom, watching out for more signs like these. Doing that definitely can't hurt anyway.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think he's pulling back a bit because you've been so wishy-washy.

 

First you say no to sex. Then you say yes.

 

Being conflicted about having sex with him isn't going to draw him closer, as you can see.

 

Im sure he's just frustrated by the game of it all...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think he's pulling back a bit because you've been so wishy-washy.

 

First you say no to sex. Then you say yes.

 

Being conflicted about having sex with him isn't going to draw him closer, as you can see.

 

Im sure he's just frustrated by the game of it all...

 

Ha no Ariel, that's not cool at all!

 

This happened on the night they had a talk about where it was going, and they both agreed they were into each other as a potential long-term r/s.

 

When a couple first has sex isn't a game, she wants to, but also wants to be 100% sure... that's not a game, it's smart.

 

Sure he may be frustrated, but if he's a good guy, he'll also be patient. Asking her for her pic could've been his way of trying to tell her how into her he is (?!?!?) but joking about a naked one could be what other's have suggested...

 

Her feeling a weird vibe is significant, and she shouldn't blow it off. She should investigate it further, see if she gets any more weird vibes, before sleeping with him.

 

His not texting her in the morning like he usually does might mean nothing at all, he was busy, whatever. Or, it could mean he's frustrated and taking it out on her passively, which would not be a good thing.

 

Either way, given this info, I think she should just keep seeing him, watch for more strange vibes, and be true to her hesitation for sleeping with him (it's not like it's been unusually long for that to happen, it's completely cool).

 

You telling her she's been wishy-washy is sending the wrong message. It's completely normal for someone to be conflicted between "I want sex with you now because you're hot and we have such a great time together" and "I should hold off to get a more accurate assessment of where we're going, who you are and how you'll treat the intimacy, and am I ready to risk the physical and emotional involvement that sex brings when I'm seeking a LTR."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think you should contact him. He asked if you wanted to hang out tomorrow, and you said you would let him know. He probably is expecting you to follow your word and let him know.

 

If you got a weird vibe from him, then he probably perceived that you were experiencing something negative towards him (its hard to feel a bad vibe without your body language expressing that), and thought he'd give you some space. That's probably why he didn't text you in the morning.

 

I would take things a bit slower though if you're worried about him. But, why not just hang out together and enjoy each others' company and get to know each other, and worry about the sex/relationship stuff when it naturally comes up again?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...