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He says he's fallen for me.. we've only talked for 4 days?


SweetJade

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Is it possible for someone to take a liking to someone that quickly without even meeting them in person yet? I've been talking to this guy on a dating site and I'm really liking him, he's very charming,intelligent and funny. We've exchanged numbers and we've been talking on the phone religiously for the last couple of days. However I must admit I'm taking a liking to him as well but everything seems to be moving fast and it's freaking me out because I can't tell if he's being sincere about what he's saying or if he's one of those player type of guys. Everyday we call and we stay on the phone for hours... Like last night he called me when he got off of work at around 11 pm.. we didn't get off the phone until like 6 AM in the morning. We have fun together just talking about everything. I can really be myself talking to him.

 

Last night he admitted that he's taking a liking to me and I told him the same. However I feel it's happening fast and it seems like he's already trying to push for a relationship. He kept making subtle hints and he even blew a kiss at me through the phone. I really like him but I honestly can't tell if I really like him until we meet in person. I don't want to hurt him but apart of me feel like he's not that serious. How could you fall for someone without meeting them and only knowing them in 4 days? I don't want to hurt him either but it seems fishy that he's already trying to push it with the flirting I don't know.. I rather like to take things slow first...

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He hasn't even met you and he's giving you the "I'm falling for you" routine. I dunno - everybody has a different version and sense of "falling for you" I suppose. However, people who move in too fast have one of two results

1.) They move out just as fast

2.) They are impossible to get rid of after the relationship crashes.

 

I may be wrong though.

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Big, big red flag. A quick push for a commitment is a big no-no.

 

He's not pushing it but yet he's throwing out hints like calling me baby and stuff.. It's making me uncomfortable. I'm going to tell him to chill on that until we get to know each other a little better..

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If you want to take things slower, then avoid talking with him for more than 20 minutes, and avoid more calls with him until you meet (unless it is to confirm a time or place to meet). Of course people can get attached through typing and talking but in my opinion that has little relevance to whether you are compatible in person. I also would wonder about someone who is willing to put most of their waking or sleeping hours aside for a complete stranger - doesn't he have a job, a life, friends, activities? don't you?

 

I also believe strongly in getting to know someone over a period of months and that talking non stop for days or weeks is not a substitute for that. for example, you have no idea how he is as a person in so many different situations - when something terrible happened, something great happened, how he is with his family, with strangers (like waiters or other people who are there to help him), with friends, with you in all those situations, etc.

 

when are you planning to meet in person?

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Oh god...sounds just like this guy I used to date.

 

1) Either he's a player & he knows how to work his game

OR

2) He's needy & clingy, which will only get worse with time

 

You'll be able to tell after the 1st date whether or not you wanna continue. Just don't make it seem like you're head over heels for him either. People like this tend to get the wrong signals. They only see what they wanna see. So, if you stay on the phone with him for hours at a time, he's gonna think you're ready for a relationship too.

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Oh god...sounds just like this guy I used to date.

 

1) Either he's a player & he knows how to work his game

OR

2) He's needy & clingy, which will only get worse with time

 

You'll be able to tell after the 1st date whether or not you wanna continue. Just don't make it seem like you're head over heels for him either. People like this tend to get the wrong signals. They only see what they wanna see. So, if you stay on the phone with him for hours at a time, he's gonna think you're ready for a relationship too.

 

or he charmed you and you will be over any minute for some physical.

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We do have a life.. we both had off days at work today so I guess we just decided to talk the whole night away since we basically had a free day. I agree with you about it being different if we meet in person. I plan to do that in a week when our schedules don't conflict. That way we can see if we're really compatible with each other or not.

 

It's creepy how fast he's supposedly falling for me. I think I'll just give him a little space and I will call him tonight so we can talk about that...

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He recognizes your needs and has capitalized on them. Whether or not this makes him a stalker or player or genuine cannot be determined at this point. You will have to meet him in order to achieve relevant conclusions. Whether or not you do so is up to you, but I would wager that the possible gains outweigh the possible detractors in this scenario.

 

A worthless person can be dismissed, as the needs demand.

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Oh god...sounds just like this guy I used to date.

 

1) Either he's a player & he knows how to work his game

OR

2) He's needy & clingy, which will only get worse with time

 

You'll be able to tell after the 1st date whether or not you wanna continue. Just don't make it seem like you're head over heels for him either. People like this tend to get the wrong signals. They only see what they wanna see. So, if you stay on the phone with him for hours at a time, he's gonna think you're ready for a relationship too.

 

Right.. I have a feeling he's most likely a player though.. Wouldn't surprise me. I'm on guard with my feelings, I don't like him romantically.. I think he's a cool person so far but we've gotta establish a date. He was already talking about inviting me to go to some concert that's going to be in our town in a couple of weeks... I guess we can meet then...

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He recognizes your needs and has capitalized on them. Whether or not this makes him a stalker or player or genuine cannot be determined at this point. You will have to meet him in order to achieve relevant conclusions. Whether or not you do so is up to you, but I would wager that the possible gains outweigh the possible detractors in this scenario.

 

A worthless person can be dismissed, as the needs demand.

 

What I did notice last night.. most of the conversations dealt with him asking me about what I want in a relationship and what I like in a guy. Like he was taking notes so I did pick up on that. I have to be careful... I don't need to mess with online dating anymore.. too many weirdos and just too much confusion lol.

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ok me being the type of person who "falls" quickly for people can relate, however i think the fact that you dont know each other in person is very big factor...do u know what each other looks like. With you guys not knowing each other in person, you both may be creating fantasy people for yourselfs, ge to know each other and dont let your emotions get ahold of you...take it slow and enjoy the ride

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ok me being the type of person who "falls" quickly for people can relate, however i think the fact that you dont know each other in person is very big factor...do u know what each other looks like. With you guys not knowing each other in person, you both may be creating fantasy people for yourselfs, ge to know each other and dont let your emotions get ahold of you...take it slow and enjoy the ride

 

We've seen pictures of each other but that's about it.. However pictures don't tell the whole story of a person. I can honestly say there are no feelings on my part as of yet. All I see him as is a friend... I surely will be taking this slow..

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We've seen pictures of each other but that's about it.. However pictures don't tell the whole story of a person. I can honestly say there are no feelings on my part as of yet. All I see him as is a friend... I surely will be taking this slow..

 

????????

 

why don't you just meet for lunch, and then decide how you feel or don't feel about him? same goes for him.

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wow.. seems like a guy I was talking to last week...

It was going wayyy too fast. We even talked once for like ten hours! from eight to six am! (we had a free day the next day...)

but honestly i felt i was being rushed and getting too deep in just one week.

He was already trying to find names to call me, "terms of endearment" without havent even met in person. Calling me "babe" or w/e, wayyy too soon for that..

it was all very weird and it made me feel very uncomfortable.

Which is why I broke off all contact. He made it VERY hard to do. He was trying to convince me to keep talking to him and telling me how he had fallen for me and all these things... but seriously I kept repeating to him we had just talked for less than a week.. but he was still very 'hurt" and all these things.. anyways..

I just think that you should go with your gut feeling, just like I did... getting attached too soon is just not good..

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Be very careful, sounds to me like he may be a possessive person one who is also very controlling. Take a look at this:

 

link removed

 

IT ALL STARTS WITH NUMBER 2 and be assured the rest will follow!

 

This has me scared a little bit. Like he's already been kind of manipulating me in a sense. Like sometimes we're on the phone, he'll play around and say things like you don't care about me and if you don't really like me, you can go. However he claims he was playing when he says this but I don't know if he is, he does it that many times. Like last night, I really wanted to get off the phone a little earlier than what we did but he kept making those comments about how I must be bored with him and how am I going to leave him all alone.. Silly stuff like that.. However I just stayed to be nice.. I don't think he was really serious with those comments however.. I'm getting a little confused about where is he trying to get at exactly.. Like what is his gameplan exactly? Maybe I should just leave him alone?

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????????

 

why don't you just meet for lunch, and then decide how you feel or don't feel about him? same goes for him.

 

We've already scheduled a date for next week when both our schedules are free.... I'm a little iffy to meet him now with all of these comments on here about what type of guy he could be..

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