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Lost the love of my life..


movingon1

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So recently my girlfriend and I broke up. Although we were only together for 2 months, I know she was the one. We met right after she broke up with her boyfriend, and she still has some unresolved things with him that she needs to get over before we could ever be together.

 

I've decided to do NC for the next 6 months. We last spoke on Monday, and I'll send her an update email 6 months from that date. We've had limited contact over the last couple of weeks, but it's just too tough. I know she's still talking with her ex, and I don't want to be her backup. I've blocked her aim address and facebook profile, and I'm going to make a real effort to not check them anymore.

 

I have decided to make a reminder to myself to contact her in 6 months. By that time she will have made a decision about him, and I feel I will have moved on from the feelings I have from her. I hope its the right decision, but I do feel confident in myself.

 

Not sure if I will get any replies, but just wanted to make it official to myself

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I understand she's probably not the one... but it did really feel right. It's unfortunate, but I'm hoping that my disappearance will heighten her curiosity, but I still can't be with her until she solves her ex problem. The weird thing is I know she's not happy with him, but yet she still misses and hangs out with him.

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To give you some perspective - the person I thought was the one broke up with me about two weeks ago. In hindsight, she was so concerned about what other people thought about our relationship, she can't have been really. If she was it would have been reciprocal and I wouldn't have felt under intense pressure to live up to her social expectations. Or maybe deep down I wanted ot believe she was the one but she wasn't, so I didn't make the required effort. Who knows? Bottom line is, I feel an intense sense of loss because on paper, we were a perfect match. In practise, for whatever reason and through some difficult external circumstances, it wasn't so.

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sorry about your loss. If she is the one, you will get back with her. keep an open heart and mind. I know it hurts, I thought I met the one over a year ago and now it's over. Go for NC. Focus on yourself and your growth and learnign to be "the one" to yourself. This is where it really lies in my opinion. You must be your own "one, in order to attract the "one"

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Well I dumped her, because her ex was still in the picture. They dated for like 2 years, and I know she thought she was ready to date but wasn't. I wasn't exactly a rebound, because she didn't think we would click so well so soon.

 

I feel good because we ended on good terms unlike my past relationships. So the door is still open to reconcile. But she needs to make a decision about him first. I think by the time the 6 months is up, I'll know either way.

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actually for me it got toughest by day 8 or so. Turns out I think I had an intuition: it was right about the day he started seeing a new girl, which I found out when I broke down and contacted him. By the time I saw hi and he told me, they had been seeing each other for 4 days. He was pretty cold to me, telling me to : "forget him" . He said he was extremelyl confused and trying to figure things out. But when someone is being cold and telling you to "forget him", I GUESS it's time to let go! (My denial is very strong. PLus, the next day on the phone he tells me I still have a huge place in his life.).

 

I hop you pull through. For me I think it's gonna take months before I start to feel better. everyone is different

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My advise to you would be to just forget about her. I can almost assure you that you were the rebound guy for her and if you contact her in 6 months she will either a) not respond to you at all b) tell you she got back together with her ex or c) tell you she's dating someone else. By programming your mind to be hopefull in the next 6 months you are setting yourself up for disappointment so if I were you I'd find someone else.

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I don't know if I'm really being hopeful.... If she's single at that point, maybe we'll get together for drinks or something. If she's with her ex, then I'll be happy for her. If she's with some one else, then I know it's not meant to be. I'd hate to just write her out of my life forever because we did have great times. Although it was short, it was intense, and I do still care about her. I really just want her to be happy no matter who it is with.

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  • 3 months later...

Personally, I think you can know/feel like someone is the "one" for you within 2 months and I don't know why people are so skeptical about that? It happens and I truly believe that if you have a strong feeling about someone that there is SOME reason for it, whether you were with them for 2 months or 2 years.

 

I think you are handling this situation very maturely and I applaud you for the decision you made. I know it wasn't easy, but at the end of the day you did the right thing. And I definitely think 6 months is enough time to contact her again and see how she's doing. Good luck

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I agree in a way and think we do quite often think someone is 'the one' too early in a relationship as it's all fresh and new and we're constantly looking for the good things in someone. So in a way it's harder when something happens.

 

Sorry to hear it is finished for now and I agree that it is unlikely in 6 months that she will be 'free'.

 

Just wanted to share this with you - I dated someone for 2 months and it was going well, emotional, intellectual and physical connection. He was (genuinely) separated from wife for 8 months. One evening he cancelled a date with this:

 

"Divorce is a journey and I dont think I have packed enough in my suitcase to take that road yet".

 

Sad yet also hilarious. I had to laugh otherwise I would have cried. Thankfully 2 months means connections, yes sometimes strong, but not strong enough that you have commitment. She did not commit to you and seems still to have strong feelings for her ex.

 

Sorry you were there at the wrong time and take care.

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