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Replying to first emails...


Ammy

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Hey guys,

 

I am wondering, is it part of the game to wait a few days before replying to a first email on a dating site? I have found that 2 of the 8 guys I emailed replied but like 3 days later... And the others still haven't replied (even though they are all the guys who initially sent me a sign of their interest). So I'm wondering will the emails come flooding in a few days later... or have they simply lost interest between the initial "virtual kiss" and the email....??

 

In the past a guy will email me from the dating site - totally initiated by him, I will wait perhaps 1 day and reply usually just the next day rather than a whole day later... and then they wait 2 days to reply again. Either I'm saying something in my emails that comes accross as off putting, or it's a silly game Sydney men play?

 

Is this again the whole thing of "he's not that into you" if he waits 3 days to respond to your online contact?

 

Thanks!!

 

Ammy

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I'd take it as 'not that into me' if it took days to reply and especially if they have been online since I mailed.

 

In my opinion and if someone is interested in you online, they can't and don't risk leaving it days to reply, for in those 2, 3 or 4 days, someone else could mail you who catches your eye....and because they left it days, they may end up loosing out.

 

I think only stupid men play games....men who aren't worth bothering with.

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I'd take it as 'not that into me' if it took days to reply and especially if they have been online since I mailed.

 

In my opinion and if someone is interested in you online, they can't and don't risk leaving it days to reply, for in those 2, 3 or 4 days, someone else could mail you who catches your eye....and because they left it days, they may end up loosing out.

 

I think only stupid men play games....men who aren't worth bothering with.

 

D Lish, I ONLY attract stupid men... LOL.... All of them do this stupid stuff with me, it's like I have a sign on my forehead - I'm a sucker, MESS WITH ME! LOL! (Seriously only been treated well by a guy ONCE in my 26 years!)

 

But seriously... I guess with me I've been online soooo long that maybe they know a few days is no risk, it's not like I'm getting snapped up sooo fast.

 

Hmm... anyway thanks for that perspective, it was pretty much what I suspected.... But I just couldn't break it to myself that SOOOOO many men even online would not be that into me... LOL.

 

Ammy

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D Lish, I ONLY attract stupid men... LOL.... All of them do this stupid stuff with me, it's like I have a sign on my forehead - I'm a sucker, MESS WITH ME! LOL! (Seriously only been treated well by a guy ONCE in my 26 years!)

 

Tell me about it....I tended to attract the daft ones too

But then it dawned on me one day....they can only mess with you, if you allow them to mess with you.

 

You should only ever settle for what you truly want and feel you deserve and if you feel that guys are messing around, taking days to contact, only showing a minimal interest, etc, etc....then pull the plug on them and wave bye bye...lol

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Tell me about it....I tended to attract the daft ones too

But then it dawned on me one day....they can only mess with you, if you allow them to mess with you.

 

You should only ever settle for what you truly want and feel you deserve and if you feel that guys are messing around, taking days to contact, only showing a minimal interest, etc, etc....then pull the plug on them and wave bye bye...lol

 

I agree, guys that treat women like this deserve to be kicked into touch.

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C'mon, not all men are stupid and play games with women, well only 98% of us do, the other 2% off us aren't that bad. If I liked somebody I wouldnt wait days, but would not rush into a reply half-cocked.

 

lol 98%....that's a high percentage of you then!

 

I used to go on a UK site, a chat and flirt site and guys on there who had an interest, were not shy in showing it.....and it didn't take them days to reply either. I got immediate replies!

 

But I've told Ammy she should move to UK ....lol

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I don't think "just not that into you" applies to a complete stranger deciding whether to respond to an email from another complete stranger. When I emailed, I replied asap depending on what I was doing that day, when I received it, etc (if i received it on a weekend night, no I didn't reply that night, none of their business if I happened to be home). I didn't pay attention to when the guy responded because I was emailing with many people, I didn't care when or if he did, unless it was so long after (weeks/months) that I couldn't remember who he was.

 

If i had taken the pre-meeting process as personally or as analytically as you I am positive I would have stopped being involved with these dating sites at all - it took enough effort/decisions once I met the person - before that happened I had zero/negligible attachment the vast majority of the time.

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lol 98%....that's a high percentage of you then!

 

I used to go on a UK site, a chat and flirt site and guys on there who had an interest, were not shy in showing it.....and it didn't take them days to reply either. I got immediate replies!

 

But I've told Ammy she should move to UK ....lol

 

We'll I've had some bad experiences with women here, lol and I do mean bad, like scary.

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Actually there were times when I wouldn't get a reply for a few days.....but I wrote those guys off immediatley and especially if I'd seen them online. I tended to think that they were late in replying and because they were chatting to and busy mailing other women....and I don't relish being 'second choice'....or have a man show an interest, because some other female may not have reciprocated his advances and turned him down.

 

Dating sites are akin to a 'buffet table', where you can go and take a bite or a nibble of this and that and whatever looks appealing to you. Well sorry, but I aint no sausage roll, for when the Bakewell Tart aint around.....lol

You are either interested, or you are not was my attitude and remains my attitude...

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Hi Batya,

 

I see your point... problem is that perhaps you got a lot more emails and contacts than I do hence it was easier to not think about each one so much. I guess I lament on each one because they are few and far between... Hence I pay attention to them all and when they're responding etc.

 

Also yes it's my personality, I'm overanalytical by nature, have an annoyingly good memory - esp emotional memory and take things way toooooo personally! I am TRYING to work on that last point...

 

Thanks guys for all the replies.

 

Ammy

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Well, that might be part of it but you can choose to take a different approach - I chose to develop a thick skin approach to early dating (before we were exclusive) - you can make the same choice. Also, I contacted many guys - so I am not sure that you receive less emails than I did.

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Hey guys,

 

I am wondering, is it part of the game to wait a few days before replying to a first email on a dating site? I have found that 2 of the 8 guys I emailed replied but like 3 days later...

 

Hi Ammy. My first thought is: These guys are probably afraid that if they write back too quickly, they will look "desperate" -- or at least that's what they read in some book.

 

So I don't think we can conclude that they are not interested.

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Hi Ammy. My first thought is: These guys are probably afraid that if they write back too quickly, they will look "desperate" -- or at least that's what they read in some book.

 

So I don't think we can conclude that they are not interested.

 

If some guy follows rules in a book written by some fool, then he aint worth the time. I for one, wouldn't be sat waiting around 3 days, twenty minutes and three seconds for a reply....

 

To me, an interested guy would mail back as soon as he possibly could, for fear some other guy is gonna get there before him.

I don't think people can afford to follow rules and stall in replying and especially on dating sites....where there are so many people to choose from.

 

The 'early bird catches the worm'....so to speak.

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If some guy follows rules in a book written by some fool, then he aint worth the time. I for one, wouldn't be sat waiting around 3 days, twenty minutes and three seconds for a reply....

 

To me, an interested guy would mail back as soon as he possibly could, for fear some other guy is gonna get there before him.

I don't think people can afford to follow rules and stall in replying and especially on dating sites....where there are so many people to choose from.

 

The 'early bird catches the worm'....so to speak.

 

D_Lish,

My thoughts exactly!

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