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Please help me :(


foreveralone

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I really need input/advice. I am just sick over this.

 

This guy I met online I think may be being abusive to me. He's only nice to me at the beginning of the conversation so I will talk dirty to him while he masturbates, gets pleasure (during which I am 'oh baby'). After which, he gets mopey, says he regrets it, and is so manipulative. I am so afraid to express my true opinions about anything because he flies off the handle over every little thing. He is so unstable, he keeps changing his mind. Then he says, you have to tell me how you feel. I tell him I disagree, or how I feel, and he makes me feel soo guilty, saying "I can't do anything right" For a while, he was sending me deep romantic love letters, so sweet, with pet names. For every day he is sweet, he is rotten and makes me feel awful for 5. Now, the sweet days are getting even fewer and farther between.Then, he was very distant all of sudden, said he needed to think, and just wanted to be friends. fine. I cried in private. Tonight he got online, and was bein sooo sweet. Then he starts talkin like he wants to cyber sex again, and I said (finally I was strong enough!) to say "I dont want to talk sex with you". He said OK, then "I gotta go"and has been off for a couple hours. I feel afraid to end the relationship because I feel attached to him, I feel like he needs me, like I need him. I just keep thinking about the times he was nice to me, and I want that again because it was sooo nice. Is it worth putting up with his unexplained moodiness and the way he makes me feel guilty for not being online to talk for 6 hours every single night? Does this sound like abuse to anyone? Could I be a codependent. Please, any advice, comments, ideas. PLEASE

 

I told him, I need to study (Im in medical school), he unfriended me on Facebook after not bein online for only 2 nights. He said "You're just like everyone else. I have no time for someone who doesnt make time for me" Now I feel like Im on a rollercoaster of guilt. I feel bad about myself, but I cant let him go-what if he is 'the one'?

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I can't imagine why you would tolerate this kind of behavior. I don't mean to sound so blunt, but you are allowing all of this. I know you feel you need this man in your life for some reason, but please ask yourself WHY. Do you have such low self value that you think this is all you can have in life?

 

Please, remove him from your email list and IM list, and phone too. Don't even give him an explanation. Just block him and be done with this mess.

 

He only wants you for cyber sex. That is very clear. He has shown you no respect, thus he deserves no explanation for you cutting him off entirely.

 

Teach people how to treat you.

,

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I guess im coming from a different point of view. I was in an abusive relationship. Its really hard because you might be co-dependent. Im tryin to learn how to deal with mine because for a long time i wasnt even able to deal with the fact that i was. It runs in my family of being abused. I grew up around it and its somehow just becomes natural to be attracted to someone like that or want to help someone like that. I think the worst part is that you almost become the abuser because youve been treated like that for so long. Its alot of anger and rage that turns you into a person that doesnt know how to handle it. I have never been abusive to anyone but its been really hard because i just try to keep to myself. Its just im starting to get better which is crazy because ive really been so down with everything. I dont know for how long its been happening. I think you might want to try therapy because its alot of things going on and if you can find the right person to help you it can be easier. Its just whatever you think is best for you because i tried therapy at first and it was ok because it helped but i was in to much pain before. Im starting to take steps and i hope that i can really get thru this.

 

I see that you are at least able to face it which is really a good thing because they say the first step is accepting it. I also want to say to people that i know they are just trying to help but its really easy to tell someone idk how you even put up with this. Its just it happens and its not easy to say to yourself that im going thru something that is really messed up but she wrote about it at least. So i do hope she can find a way thru this really tricky time in your life. I mean ive been thru it and its so crazy especially when it hits you of what happened. Its all really up to you because as you see your starting to get the strength to deal with him and hopefully thats something you can keep working on. I dont know if this helps but alot of the time things get worse before they get better so hopefully this keeps you going even if its get really tough. I feel like maybe their is more stuff i could try to tell you to help you but for the most part everyone goes thru things differently so idk if it would help. I also kinda struggle with dealing with everything that is going on with me now that im not with that person. I would just say keep going thru all the tough times and hopefully youll find yourself thru all of this.

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