Jump to content

Changing a prior divorce settlement/agreement


coollady1957

Recommended Posts

This is probably a question for an attorney but I thought I would see if anyone knows if it is possible for a person to change or amend something that was agreed to in a divorce settlement/ agreement? Or is it set in stone so to speak once it is agreed to and final?

 

This is an agreement that was made by my now husband when he divorced his now ex wife. He had agreed to allow his grown son, with mental health issues, to live with him indefinitely and not to ever send him out on his own. He agreed to his reluctantly , in order to get his wife to sign the divorce papers. He has now changed his mind and wants to possibly change it, but has not offered to contact his divorce lawyer to get answers. I know most of you will probably say to consult an attorney, but I just wanted to see if there was anyone that had done this before, or knows if it can even be done?

 

thanks for reading and hope to hear from you all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As long as both parties agree you can always amend an agreement. The only time you have an issue is if one person wants a change and the other doesn't. That's where a fight can ensue.

 

They will want to consult an attorney to get the wording right on the amendment.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As long as both parties agree you can always amend an agreement. The only time you have an issue is if one person wants a change and the other doesn't. That's where a fight can ensue.

 

They will want to consult an attorney to get the wording right on the amendment.

 

It is not likely that his ex wife will agree since she is the one that demanded this be part of the divorce agreement/settlement in the first place. I imagine that there would be an issue with having her cooperate at all. She is a troublemaker anyway with all types of family/ children issues.

 

Looks like I just need to urge my husband to contact his divorce lawyer to get more in depth answers on how to proceed, if at all .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is not likely that his ex wife will agree since she is the one that demanded this be part of the divorce agreement/settlement in the first place. I imagine that there would be an issue with having her cooperate at all. She is a troublemaker anyway with all types of family/ children issues.

 

Looks like I just need to urge my husband to contact his divorce lawyer to get more in depth answers on how to proceed, if at all .

 

Is this an adult son? Like over the age of 25? If so, it's possible that it isn't an enforceable part of the divorce decree since he's a grown man now.

 

He should definitely contact an attorney about this. If his ex won't agree then he'd have to see if there is anything that can be done without her consent.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He had agreed to allow his grown son, with mental health issues, to live with him indefinitely and not to ever send him out on his own.

 

If so, it's possible that it isn't an enforceable part of the divorce decree

 

I agree. Courts do not make or allow decisions in perpetuity. He is either misreading what is actually required or the court had made the wrong order.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the fact that his son has mental health issues is probably why the courts allowed this to be written in the divorce decree. I think if someone is diagnosed with a proven mental health issue (schizophrenia, issues like that), he/she would need care throughout their lives and that probably falls under parents' jurisdiction.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is all a bit confusing to me. My husbands son was already of adult age when the divorce took place. His son sees a psychiatrist and does have mental health issues. However, I do not believe he has been deemed mentally incapable in the legal sense, and is on no type of disability. His son is 28 years old and has a college degree, however does not work or do anything productive with his life.

 

The mother, my husbands EX, did not want the son to be homeless in the event my husband decided he didnt want him living here anymore. This was her bargaining tool on the divorce. She was not going to sign the papers unless my husband agreed to let him live in the house indefinitely. The mother does not want him living with her.

 

I have another thread on ENA regarding step son issue under the Parents and Families Section. This would give a bit more insight to the original problem. It is all a long story with many facets entering the full situation. If you have time read my other thread which will help to understand a part of what I am about to say here...................

 

The plan is that my husband would like to get additional mental help for his son, and possibly some type of vocational rehab, in an effort to have him become a productive individual that can take care of himself. At that point,then have him move out and be on his own. When he mentioned this to his EX, she had a major fit and said that " You cant make him move out if he doesn't want to, its in the divorce papers"........ which has started World War 3 it seems.

 

As it stands, it looks like he is stuck with him living here unless something can be amended in the divorce settlement. Possibly something to where he can live here UNTIL he completes a course of mental treatment and rehabilitation, at which time his son would need to take care of his own responsibilities and acquire living accommodations of his own.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok, if he is 28 and was able to get a college degree, then he is move out, even if it is only to a group home for other with disabilities. I don't think a divorce agreement could dictate anything under this circumstance.

 

i'd talk to a lawyer about this. the ex-wife may have no ability to control anything at this point.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok, if he is 28 and was able to get a college degree, then he is move out, even if it is only to a group home for other with disabilities. I don't think a divorce agreement could dictate anything under this circumstance.

 

i'd talk to a lawyer about this. the ex-wife may have no ability to control anything at this point.

 

This is similar to what I was thinking , in that if he was able to get his college degree ( its something regarding Computer Networking and Management), that he should be capable of doing something. With his mental issues and medications properly managed I do believe he is totally capable under those circumstances.

 

I thought of the possiblity of mentioning to my husband about getting him into a Resident home for those with similar problems and a place where they can help him become productive. My husband is ready to have his life back now, after all these years of dealing with his son. This is not an effort to abandon his son, but an effort to allow all of us ,including his son, to live a more normal life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...