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Advice please


sensfan
Signs she is not faithful
Signs she is not faithful

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Hi, i started dating a girl and we have been together for about a year and a half now. She is going through a divorce. she has a friend that is married and the friend(a girl) has affairs on her husband and is very flirty and out in bars alot. I was going through my computer history and i clicked on a link that brought me to my girlfriends email..i noticed an email from a guy and curiosity got the best of me, i know it was wrong to read it but i did. the email was from a guy that my gf's girlfriend knows and set her up with. my gf wrote to him and they had set up a dinner date and it was cancelled because of transportation issues or something but the point is she made a date with another guy and even said they can do it another time. It was wrong for me to read it but i approached my gf about it and she said she was sorry and that she has a hard time saying no and didn't want to hurt his feelings or something lame like that. She said she really didn't plan on going. the thing is is my gf is still hanging around this girl and now i wonder what is going on when they go out for girls night. We have got past this but it still bothers me. Should i tell my gf i don't want her hanging around this girl.

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It is not the other girl that is the issue, it is your girlfriend. When people don't want to do something they won't. People can be friends with all kinds of people and not behave in the same manner if they don't want to. Just because someone is a serial cheater doesn't mean all her/his friends are cheaters. People choose how they want to behave regardless of who they hang out with. You girlfriend made the decision to arrange a date. The fact that she so blatantly trivialized it and swept it under the rug is very disconcerting. I would seriously re-think your own relationship with your girlfriend. It is not the company she keeps that is the problem, it is her own moral values that seem to be suspect.

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thank you for your reply..i have to agree, i am really trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and you would think that seeing i am so understanding and how i feel about this other person that she would choose me over her friend..

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Yea the problem isn't her friend, the problem is your GIRLFRIEND.

 

No you should not have read that email, but you did and you have found information that reveals your g/f is likely to cheat on you, if she hasn't already.

 

If this were me i would 'fess up to reading the email and have a long discussion with her, and it likely would end by my saying 'we need to go our separate ways" but that is up to you and what you decide to tolerate out of her.

 

If she is more concerned about being angry that you read her email then the fact that she set a date up with a guy, then you REALLY have your answer. That type of defensive reaction is a sure sign of guilt IMO.

 

Reading an email = not a nice thing to do, but a forgiveable offense in most cases.

 

Going on a date with someone else while in a relationship = break up material, most likely not forgiveable offense.

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If I am in a relationship and someone asks me to meet up, I tell them upfront I'm in a relationship. How would this possibly hurt someone's feelings so that I couldn't say no? Even if I didn't mean to follow through?

 

Right -- because your gf didn't tell that guy she was in a relationship. You should think about that.

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