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What should I do?


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Ambiguous title, yes, and I apologize.


So, I've known this girl henceforth known as Amanda, since highschool(I am 4 years her senior). We were really close back then, but never got much farther than making out as intimacy goes... we were just friends.

Anyway, 5 years later we cross paths again. (I had moved away to college, but kept in touch through phone with her, on several occasions.) We have been dating for 1 month as of this post, so things are starting to get serious.


Here is my dilemma: She has a 4 month old child, with another guy. I am a very career-oriented person and fear being tied down. I really like her, but because of this, am afraid to become attached.

1. Because my career will have me traveling and probably living very far from here.

2. Because money is tight after college, what with loans and all, and having a child would only make things tougher.

3. Because I NEVER imagined myself in this position. I always wanted kids...but not until I had established myself in a decent job, making good money.... not as I am now, in a transitional phase after college looking to find that job.


I don't really have anyone to talk to about this... so I turned here, thanks to google. I want to move forward with her, but at the same time I fear doing so will have me sacrificing my career or her later on in the relationship.


Any advice? I'm fairly lost.




edit: I should mention, that she has been separated from the child's father since birth. He was very abusive, and irresponsible so she left him. He is another problem all in its own...but thats for another time.

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Sounds like you aren't in a place to consider a future though your attraction to her is making you think you want to go there. Don't mess with single mums...either you are willing to take her and the child on with all the responisbilities that go with it, or you aren't and it doesn't sound like you can anymore than you want to.


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One month really isn't that long and that shouldn't be considered serious. If you can't accept her for who she is and what she comes with, then its not fair and there really isn't a point in wasting either of your time. Im sure she isnt expecting you to like move in and take care of her kid immediately so I really wouldn't worry about it. But if you honestly can't see you being with her AND the kid. There's no point.

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Dating Someone Not Attracted To - D...
Dating Someone Not Attracted To - Do It!


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