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hook up to relationship to hook up? help!


curious1confused2

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my best friend "max" confessed that he'd wanted to be with me for months in late august when he still had a girlfriend. we started hooking up (i already know it is wrong but very complicated...) ever since. he broke up with his girl in early december. as of new year's eve that we spent just us 2, he still wanted to be in a relationship. so after hookin up one night like 2 weeks ago, i asked him "if you had to describe me to someone, how would you describe me as" and he said "a friend".

he said he just wanted to be single for a while, not forever, but asked me "why would you want to be with someone whose heart has been hurt so many times it needs time to heal?" and had a deep convo... where i decided we should keep it to kissing and he said nothing all together bc he didn't want either of us hurt, etc. but i told him i don't like that philosphy and now we are hooking up again.

what do you suggest? i still want to be in a relationship with him, and he is "hot and cold" sometimes but still we are best friends and such. but it's been 5 months and i fear we've fallen into the "fun friends" category and i want out. thanks!

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I don't think Max will ever be your boyfriend. He's been able to have sex with you without having to do so or commit, and not always but usually this means he has lower respect for you than a girl who makes him work for it. You deserve more than that, because it seems from your post that you like him a lot. Doing friends with benefits with someone you like a lot just ends up painful. Stop having sex with him. If he misses you and comes to you for a relationship then fine, but I don't really think that'll happen, I'd say just wait to have sex with a real boyfriend, and even better one who doesn't cheat on their girlfriend.

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Gahhh. Boys are so difficult. I've been in a situation similar to yours and it freakin sucks. Tell him it needs to be all or nothing. And if it ends up being nothing it will be hard and when you guys hang out you just have to remember that he could be doing god knows what with god knows who. Whenever I would think about that it made me not want to do anything with him and try not to put yourself into a situation where you two will end up doing stuff like not going over to eachothers houses without a friend late at night.

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