My Advice Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Hmmm I am curious about the opposition people have to their parents suggesting someone for THEM in dating.\ When your mom or dad mentions they met somebody, and talks them up or compliments them, clearly suggesting them as a prospective partner, does it tend to turn you off or away from them when you meet them or if you already have met them? Do you think, oh God, my mom likes them, etc. Question for both women and men? I know with women at least, some of them have a contentious relationship with their parents and develop a Romeo and Juliet complex which makes partners their parents DON'T like, more attractive and vice versa. Every time I meet somebodies mom they unfortunately have this tendency to immediately like me and bring up their daughters whenever they live near me. Oh my daughter lives down the hall. She went to princeton. She is very nice. etc etc etc. In one case I could hear the mother talk about this guy she met who lives down the hall. I often find myself cynically thinking, hmm, great, if I run accross her I hope your daughter's not hot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supa_gurl Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 I would actually be flattered if my dad found someone he thought I would be interested in. I love my dad and know he wants what is best for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 My mom liked one guy I dated when I was much younger very much. I should have married him, he was the pick of the litter as far as guys I've dated. Only guy I still think about fondly. Mom was right, most parents are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D_Lish Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 My parents have never suggested anyone for me. Their type, likely wouldn't have been my type anyway. I've know my parents, particularly my dad disapprove of certain guys I was involved with and he would try to sway me into not seeing them again. Even known my dad to follow me, to ensure I wasn't meeting up with a guy he didn't approve of and if he caught me sneaking off, I was put under house arrest!!! He was way over the top and very protective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Wow! Your dad sounds like a real piece of work. My mom let me date who I wanted. If she had been a wee bit more like you dad, it would have saved me a lot of grief. Still, your dad sounds like he needs help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grymoire Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 My mom liked one guy I dated when I was much younger very much. I should have married him, he was the pick of the litter as far as guys I've dated. Only guy I still think about fondly. Mom was right, most parents are. but i am very sure that at that point in your life you did not think much of him, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurt75 Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Given that I dont really like my parents taste in pracitcally anything I would have to say no, no I wouldnt want them to suggest people for me to date. I didnt even tell them about my last girlfriend!!! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D_Lish Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Wow! Your dad sounds like a real piece of work. My mom let me date who I wanted. If she had been a wee bit more like you dad, it would have saved me a lot of grief. Still, your dad sounds like he needs help. Thing with my dad is and was, he built up a business from scratch, has worked all of his life and he would have preferred to see me with someone like himself, someone who was ambitious and had money. Any guy with no money was a 'deadbeat' and no good for me. But I couldn't care less what a guy may have or may not have and I'd rather have love over money... Funnily enough though, I married a guy like my dad. My ex H had his own business, works every hour God sends.....needless to say, my dad very much approved of him and wasn't very happy when we divorced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
My Advice Posted January 27, 2009 Author Share Posted January 27, 2009 dlish, your dad sounds like he can't understand anything outside his own personal experiences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrawberryYogurt Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 I respect my parents a lot so I always wished they could've suggested girls to me, but I'm far away from them. I pretty much only date in my culture or similar culture and my parents have a large network of friends and acquaintances from our culture. Shame too b/c I'm considered a hot catch within our culture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D_Lish Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 dlish, your dad sounds like he can't understand anything outside his own personal experiences. He's a snob. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
My Advice Posted January 27, 2009 Author Share Posted January 27, 2009 He's a snob. Had his circumstances been very different, were he to have a nervous break down, or if England along with the US were hit with a hard depression or if he got what I call "madoffed" then I bet his attitude towards the poor would change... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 My mother has hated all of my boyfriends and crushes. Even people she liked, as soon as I date them, she hates them. It's just another means of control. I think I have a better judgement on whether or not a guy is good or not than my mother does. However, I value the input from my uncle, aunt, and grandmother greatly. My bf's parents have always loved me. After my first boyfriend and I broke up, his parents would still ask me to come to dinner and family reunions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D_Lish Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Had his circumstances been very different, were he to have a nervous break down, or if England along with the US were hit with a hard depression or if he got what I call "madoffed" then I bet his attitude towards the poor would change... I think he's the way he is and because as a child, he grew up in poverty. He was one of 11 kids, my grandad was off fighting in WW2 leaving my gran to bring them all up alone....and they didn't have a lot. So I guess he grew up and didn't ever want to find himself in same situation my grandparents were. Still no excuse though. Because he knows and knew poverty you'd think he'd be more sympathetic to those who were less well off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D_Lish Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 My mother has hated all of my boyfriends and crushes. Even people she liked, as soon as I date them, she hates them. My mum tended to be like that, in my choice of friends....never approved of any of them, lol Didn't stop me from hanging around with them though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 My mum tended to be like that, in my choice of friends....never approved of any of them, lol Didn't stop me from hanging around with them though. Oh, my mother hated all of my friends too. I've never had a friend over to my house. NEVER. In the 1.5 years that I've been dating my boyfriend, he's come over 5 times. All when my mother wasn't home. And, he's only been in our living room. My boyfriend isn't allowed in my house. None of them have been allowed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D_Lish Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Oh, my mother hated all of my friends too. I've never had a friend over to my house. NEVER. In the 1.5 years that I've been dating my boyfriend, he's come over 5 times. All when my mother wasn't home. And, he's only been in our living room. My boyfriend isn't allowed in my house. None of them have been allowed. My mum was exact same. She would tell me not to bring friends to the home and I never had any friends over. And they were decent people, there was absolutley nothing wrong with them and I couldn't understand why she'd take an instant dislike to them, without even knowing them. Now with boyfriends, she was different. I could take them home and introduce them, but she'd find something wrong with them....lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
My Advice Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 I think he's the way he is and because as a child, he grew up in poverty. He was one of 11 kids, my grandad was off fighting in WW2 leaving my gran to bring them all up alone....and they didn't have a lot. So I guess he grew up and didn't ever want to find himself in same situation my grandparents were. Still no excuse though. Because he knows and knew poverty you'd think he'd be more sympathetic to those who were less well off. Dlish I already knew he grew up in poverty. I know your dad. I have met him before. He's a dime a dozen here in America. And I still bet he'd change his tune if he lost it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
My Advice Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 Oh, my mother hated all of my friends too. I've never had a friend over to my house. NEVER. In the 1.5 years that I've been dating my boyfriend, he's come over 5 times. All when my mother wasn't home. And, he's only been in our living room. My boyfriend isn't allowed in my house. None of them have been allowed. debaser it is a curse for me. The only girl I have ever liked who's mom hates me is the one who seems to think I was somehow influential in his daughter's suicide or had severely wronged her in some way. Before that she loved me. I really need to become more of a dog around mothers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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