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he said "i love you," and hasn't said it since


lafemelle

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I've been with my boyfriend now for 3 months. A little over a month ago, he said "I love you" for the first time, and I said it back to him.

 

Now what's confusing me is that since he said it (let's review, he said it to me first) he hasn't said it even once. Absolutely nothing else has changed, and he makes it very clear he's happy with me and with our relationship.

 

So now I'm scared (because I AM a female, after all) that he didn't mean it when he said it, because this has never been my experience before. And in the meantime, I'm not sure what to do about it. It hurts inside to know he hasn't said it to me at all since the first time, and at the same time it's not something I'm comfortable bringing up to him because it feels awkward.

 

Has anyone else experienced this, or is there a male who understands why a guy might do this?

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I never put much stock into the I love you's that come a mere 2 months or so into dating. Love takes time to grow...the "I love you's" that early on is just the infatuation of the honeymoon period talking...and when people feel the need to say "I love you" all the time it really doesn't necessarily mean that they do. Plenty of breakups have happened 1 week after the dumper has continued declaring their love. I have seen many posts on here where dumpees have been blindsided because up until the dumping the other person was still saying "I love you".

 

How are his actions towards you? Is he attentive, caring, considerate etc. Is the relationship moving forwards? Don't go by words, go by how he treats you.

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I never put much stock into the I love you's that come a mere 2 months or so into dating. Love takes time to grow...the "I love you's" that early on is just the infatuation of the honeymoon period talking...and when people feel the need to say "I love you" all the time it really doesn't necessarily mean that they do. Plenty of breakups have happened 1 week after the dumper has continued declaring their love. I have seen many posts on here where dumpees have been blindsided because up until the dumping the other person was still saying "I love you".

 

How are his actions towards you? Is he attentive, caring, considerate etc. Is the relationship moving forwards? Don't go by words, go by how he treats you.

 

 

Believe me, I am going by how he treats me. He's caring, respectful, knows exactly how to put me in a good mood, and our relationship is most definitely moving forward. That's why this is so confusing.

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WOW! I was thinking of posting the same thing. Only with me...we haven't labled each other as bf/gf...just dating. He said it 2.5 months ago and not again since. In my head I have chalked it up to the newness, euphoric feelings of a new relationship since he did say it pretty early on in the relationship. I just said to myself, if he really meant it, he will say it again....still waiting. I was contemplating saying it to him again, but honestly I wouldn't mean it now and don't want to say something I don't mean.

I hope it works out for you.

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Im sorry for your frustration with you guy. I had a similar thing

happen awhile back. I was the one who said it first, I worked him

into it by saying things like saying I love you but not actually saying

it until we both got comfortable with saying other things...like I care about

you ALOT,SOOO MUCH, You mean sooo much to me, I love everything about you.

I can see you and me being together for a long time, Avoid the word FOREVER

until you both are sure...But ease into it, its not always the easiest thing

to say... We now say it so much that Im starting to begine he has nothing else to say LOL....NO but Id just ease into it by showing you care... If hes completely freezing around you now, PM me, Ill talk to you in private about my own experience with this matter...

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He doesn't have to say it all the time does he? I don't have to hear it all the time. Once a blue moon is fine with me....I think it means more when they don't say it so often.

 

No, he absolutely doesn't have to say it all the time. But more than once a month would be nice. And from past experience, when a significant other tells me he loves me, at least at first he tends to say it a lot...over time not as much, but at least after the first time it usually happens more often. I've had a few serious relationships, so I've been down this road before, and it's never been like this.

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Well, that is a little unfair. He put himself out there to say it first - the least you could do is to take the same risk he did. For all he knows you only said it in reply because you felt you had to not because you wanted to.

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Well, that is a little unfair. He put himself out there to say it first - the least you could do is to take the same risk he did. For all he knows you only said it in reply because you felt you had to not because you wanted to.

 

Hmm, hadn't thought about it like that. I guess you raise a good point there.

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Well, that is a little unfair. He put himself out there to say it first - the least you could do is to take the same risk he did. For all he knows you only said it in reply because you felt you had to not because you wanted to.

 

Sooooo agree. Say it to him this time.

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