Jump to content

Here We Go Again


sadme

Recommended Posts

I know this is nutty. We dated four years, three break ups (his doing), 2 engagements in those 4 years. He is 39 and I am 43. The last break up was in October. We saw each other a couple times about a month ago and it went well, but then he started acting odd. He is dating a few women right now (not exclusive) and wants to remain in email and text contact only. I said forget it and went NC two weeks ago. Well he sent me a couple text and I responded and we ended up going back and forth all weekend with everything you can imagine, the past, who we dated, when we broke up each time, and all our issues. He stated he wants to stay in contact and be friends.

 

He still insists that we are better off keeping in text and email contact and maybe we could meet for dinner in the future. That right now he does not want more. I said maybe.......I need time.

 

I want this guy back as I love him. Don't ask me why. I am dating others, But, is it best to just go NC? Or just stay in contact a few times a week by email and text and see how it goes? Let it play out to some degree.

 

I think its because I am ALWAYS there for him and never have truly let him go for good that he does this so easily. The last two times he broke up with me he was with other women within weeks and after a few months with them he came back. We have always kept contact. When we were engaged and in the relationship it was fine, its just that we argued way too much and I guess he cannot commit.

 

Give me honest opinions.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi sadme the only advice i can give you and im still learning is that me and my ex were doing lc just txting and the odd phone chat fo a couple of weeks up until friday and it was killing me. In the end she put a letter through my door to finish it, but at the same time it wouldnt have been long before i did the same due to the pain. Ps the reason for lc was on her partfor space, wether she was doing it to back off and feel less pain at the end i dont know. I know she isnt in a happy place right now and maybe is putting the blame for whatever reason on our relationship which was good as far as i could see. Now she says all she wants is to be on her own with her kids forever and never wants another relationship. All i can do is go nc and see what happens one day but im not holdig my breath. But right now i feel better having nc rather than nc. Sorry if i have rambled on a bit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He needs to deal with the full consequences of breaking up with you and he can't do that if you remain in contact. And if the relationship you want is over then what's in it for you? Nothing because he gets what he wants and you get nothing of value to you.

 

No contact unless he wants a proper relationship.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He needs to deal with the full consequences of breaking up with you and he can't do that if you remain in contact. And if the relationship you want is over then what's in it for you? Nothing because he gets what he wants and you get nothing of value to you.

 

No contact unless he wants a proper relationship.

Sadme:

 

Ouch. I feel you. I am also 4 years older than my ex, we dated 4 years, broke up 11/30, had LC then NC from 12/18 until Jan 5th when he broke it with a call I ignored, then flowers/email on my b-day, back to spotty LC, had not spoken to him until Saturday. Now he has emailed me 2x offering to meet up and swap some unimportant stuff...my friends say DON'T DO IT, unless he wants to reconcile and has a ring FORGET IT. Anyway, I love him and want him too, but I think I am going to just say I am not ready to see him and I will contact him if and when I am. I THINK!

 

Intellectually I know that if I do total NC again I either heal and never hear from him again, or I heal and he decides he really missed me and wants to be ALL IN. Either way, I don't keep ripping off the scab I've worked so hard to get on this wound that was created. He totally broke my heart. I was/am crazy about him but I think I have to say thanks, but no thanks and stop WORRYING about what he will or won't do or feel-he LEFT ME so why the f*&$ do I CARE HOW HE FEELS ABOUT ME SAYING I CAN'T TALK TO YOU NOW??????????

 

DN is RIGHT ON. What is the best/most dignified/powerful way to express what I need to express? I don't want to sugar coat it and I have been handling this with restraint and integrity and do not want to stop that now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...