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For the gents: Will you still date her if...


sbux_addict

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You found out that she had a friends with benefits, or engaged in that set-up for 6 months?

 

I'm currently seeing this guy and he asked me how long my last relationship was - I mean, any kind of relationship. I told him about my FWB situation that lasted for 6 months, and I don't know if I dropped a bomb or something.

 

So I guess I just want to know how guys usually react of they are dating a new woman.

 

Thanks in advance!

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Some guys just won't be ok with the fact that someone had an FWB. Some guys won't care it all. What I do is gauge where she's at. Is she talking about this dude a lot without really realizing it? Did she develop feelings and he chose not to reciprocate so now she's rushing to someone who will? These are things I consider. If she's over it and over him and wants something more meaningful, I'd be ok with it I think. The only way it would become a problem is if she in any way, shape, or form tried to compare me to him. Then I would be done with it.

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I might not date someone who is in a FWB benefits. Besides the risk that they could end up getting attracted to each other, it just wouldn't feel right being with someone who's going and having sex with someone else. It isn't quite cheating, but its along those same lines IMO. If I did date them, I probably would refrain from getting intimate until their FWB situation ended. And if she started doing the comparison thing, I would be gone.

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Older, so take with a grain of salt, but probably wouldn't consider a woman for any long-term relationship who had FWB situations in her past. If she had a few one night stands, sure, no problem, flings, np, but being able to have an ongoing relationship purely for sex with someone who is supposedly just a friend makes no sense in my world, so there would probably be other foundational differences.

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I think any guy might at first back away from this kind of information. I like your honesty and that is rare these days. He might be a little shocked at first but then should come around that it isn't that bad. Most guys want to think the girl they want has had maybe one or two partners and those guys were terrible in bed. Give him some time to absorb the info. I am sure it will be okay.

 

 

lost

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Hon, the older you get, the more you will realize to keep your mouth closed when it comes to stuff like this.

 

You dont owe a new guy full disclosure AT ALL. You are entitled to your past.

 

Stories of your wild sexual adventures will RARELY be met with appreciation and respect, unless you're Jenna Jameson.

 

So, my advice? Don't share these things going forward.

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You found out that she had a friends with benefits, or engaged in that set-up for 6 months?

 

I'm currently seeing this guy and he asked me how long my last relationship was - I mean, any kind of relationship. I told him about my FWB situation that lasted for 6 months, and I don't know if I dropped a bomb or something.

 

So I guess I just want to know how guys usually react of they are dating a new woman.

 

Thanks in advance!

 

if a woman told me this and we were dating I would expect some action quick...

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You found out that she had a friends with benefits, or engaged in that set-up for 6 months?

 

I'm currently seeing this guy and he asked me how long my last relationship was - I mean, any kind of relationship. I told him about my FWB situation that lasted for 6 months, and I don't know if I dropped a bomb or something.

 

So I guess I just want to know how guys usually react of they are dating a new woman.

 

Thanks in advance!

 

 

I wouldnt be happy... but thats why i never ask about the past... past is best left in the past... i would be more worried about the future...

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From a woman's point of view, I would be really turned off by a guy if he had an FWB situation going or if he had ever engaged in an FWB. It totally goes against my values and I would not want to be with someone who is into FWB type setups.

 

Change guy to girl and you've got a co-sign. My ex told me about her old FWB that she had a month before she met me. He took off without a word (wonder why), and I met her two weeks later. Either way, I convinced myself to be ok with it, and I shouldn't have. I'm not ok with it.

 

I guess overall, it depends on what one's learned from the experience. Seeing as how my ex seemed to have developed feelings (she was bothered that he quit returning her calls), I felt like a rebound throughout most of our relationsship.

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Considering my experiences where I happened to be the "other guy", this situation feels no different so I'd probably back off.

 

I don't care if people do FWBs, to each to his/her own...but the moment it involves another person....it's more of a question of whether that guy is just someone to fill in the void of the FWB.

 

Sorry but I'd back off.

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The past can be so cruel. Why on Earth would you pull something like that from the past? This is a new relationship and a new experience. If I had a BF tell me about his past FWB I probably would be reconsidering being his GF. I hope a lesson has been learned from this and you can be wiser in leaving what happened in the past stay in the past.

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Wow, thanks everyone for the responses, I really appreciate you guys taking the time.

 

Ok, the situation is, things were getting hot and heavy, and I had to put a stop to it, because I made this vow that I am not going to sleep with anyone unless I am in a committed relationship with that person. I'm just trying to clean my act and get my shizzle together in terms of relationships. So I told him in the middle of it that that's what I decided to do...and told him that I've had relationships in the past where it was just purely physical, and I told him that I don't want to do that.

 

Anyway, so conversation led to him asking if it was a FWB situation, and obviously, I told him the truth. He asked about what happened, and I told him that FWB got attached I just couldn't be in a relationship with the FWB, so I ended it.

 

So, that was the context of it all. I told him that I wanted me and him to be something more, hopefully...I don't know what's going through his mind, or if his opinion of me changed at all...

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