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NC after breakup on good terms


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I have recently broken up with my ex-SO/GF. To be more precise, she has broken up with me.


The reason for the break up is due to the differences we want for our respective futures, i.e. kids, marriage. There was a lot of uncertainty about it. For me, I was willing to take more of a wait and see approach, whereas she had decided that the issues may never be resolved.


Our relationship had been great (about 18 months). No big fights. The love and commitment was strong. But these issues about the future were always at the forefront. And I guess she was the strong one and pulled the trigger on our relationship. But I can't say as I blame her, and I think if I were stronger I would have done it a long time ago.


But we love each other dearly. There is no spite between us. We both still express our love for each other. We both considered each other best friends as well as lovers during our relationship. We both want to be friends.


I know the common advice for healing after a break up is to go NC. And I think from a personal standpoint, that may be the best way for me to heal. But it seems like the worst thing to do to her. I think that would break her heart. It seems too selfish. She does not really subscribe to the whole NC idea, but I know she would do anything to help me heal and move on.



I was just wondering if anyone had some advice for me. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is there another way to move on without NC? Or is it just me not wanting to accept that I have to give up one of the most important people in my life?

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If you feel SO STRONGLY about her, why settle for the breakup?


Get back together man!


Love like you describe is precious and rare to find...


I would fight a thousand armies with my bare hands for this woman, trust me.


But I cannot fight her.


We've been at this point many times. I have tried to convince her to feel otherwise, sometimes being successful. But I can't keep doing it.

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It seems too selfish.


Going NC and breaking up have one thing in common: They are selfish actions.


Do yourself a favor and go NC. Everything else only prolongs the hurt. Tell her about it. After several months NC you can try to be friends. By then you might recognize that your life is great without her and being friends is no longer an option. That usually happens to me.



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