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My low self-esteem friends :(


ZJQ

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I am in the engineering department, where we are branded as anti-social. I know that is not entirely true, because I think people just have trouble socializing. However, I don't think I can make the friends I want inside this circle. I was an active person (socially and physically) and played many sports when I was younger. I didn't really care about who I was getting along with.

 

Now, I have this hesitation to get to know 'normal' people, that is the majority of this world. I know that engineers make up a very tiny population in the US. I keep thinking that I have too much differences that keep me from making decent friends from other majors. Our minds are trained to think differently (we are very analytical). Even though I know this, it is still very hard to shut that part of my brain off.

 

So, this is my hesitation to meet anyone new on campus. I really do want to meet people outside of my circle of friends (all engineering majors), although they are great people. They don't really seem to know how to be friendly when they speak, even though they don't really mean what they say. They also keep some thoughts inside, like how they feel about girls, which is the thing that bothers me the most. I really think they are good-looking people, ones that you would brand to be 'nice'. It frustrates me that they think they have no chance with girls. One of them brought up the TV show 'The Big-Bang Theory' and compared himself to the characters. That pissed me off a lot. I know their lives have been tough up to this point (being made fun of and looked down upon k-12), but I think they need to be more ambitious for a change.

 

So what do you guys think I should do? Bring up this topic up-front to them? I kind of feel guilty for thinking of these thoughts, but I need to be happier.

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Why bring that up to them? At worst, it will cause hurt and they will not want to be your friend anymore. At best, they will be motivated to make friends outside of the engineering world, as you are. Be the one to make the example, invite them all out for beers, and tell them you'll buy a round if everybody makes an effort to talk to a girl. Even if only one of you finds a cool girl, chances are she'll end up having some cool girl friends.

 

My advice would be to go ahead and make friends with us 'normal' people. We're not so bad. Just be yourself, and people, regardless of their major or vocation, will decide whether you are their type of friend. My boyfriend is an electrical engineering major, not as social as I, but we've grown to the peanut butter and jelly point. He's the analytical, rational one, I'm the social, 'personal' and 'emotional' (heart-on-my-sleeve type) one.

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Poison's title is exactly correct. Go out and meet some new peeps. Your career, engineering, is simply an aspect of your life. You are not binded by engineering in any fashion, unless you allow. The only thing keeping you from the friends and mates you want, is self.

 

Let them go socially, yet keep them as engineering mates. You know what you want socially, implement it. It's time for you to engineer your social life without walls.

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hey. i don't think you need to bring it up in front of them, just try to socialize with others when your engineering friends are around. if they're still being awkward, make the friends on your own. you don't have to stick with them like the cliques in high school. university is more independent.

 

some engineering people are socially awkward, yes, but that can go for people in almost any program. i'm an arts student and have more engineering/IT friends than i do people in my own program. make friends in all areas. you'll see them around campus.

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