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Don't know what to do next.


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I wasn't quite sure on where to put this... anyways


Sorry this is a bit long, but I have been holding it in for a long time.


My blood family life has always been immensely dysfunctional. That being said, I got really close to my neighbor, at that time in both our lives, I was 9 and she was going through a divorce. Later, she remarried, and I was still close to her, when I turned twelve, she had twins, and I started helping her out with the kids. They felt like my baby brothers, as time passed, I would watch them, on Saturday nights, and occasionally I would watch them whole weekends, while her and her husband went on weekend getaways. A month before my fifteenth birthday, my mom tried to commit suicide. I didnt know what to do, since I already called the cops and they came and believed that she was just drunk, and would sleep it off. She then threw me out of the house, and locked my little brother inside, I ran straight to my neighbors, and she called them again, Needless to say the first cop was wrong about my mothers state of mind. My little brother and I ended up in foster care, and my neighbor went through a series of hoops and mountians, so that she could foster us. While living there I got really close to them. However me being my mothers daughter and a teenager, we didnt get along and to salvage both our sanities I moved out. After about a half a year, we began talking again, and I would visit with the boys often. I would stay there for weeks at a time, and was feeling comfortable again. When I moved back in with my mom, i would lean on them a lot. And now i feel too much.. because recently, and now that i am 20 her husband, the only man I ever considered to be my father, tried having sex with me, on several different occasions. I told him to stop and he wouldn't, the last night I stayed there, was because she was having surgery in the morning and needed me to get the boys up and ready for school. I didn't want to stay there, but wanted to help her. I asked my best friend (whose now my fiance) to come over with me and sleep in my truck with me. We went to the house around 2am. And I let him in to go to the bathroom, we then were about to go outside and eat ice cream, when my foster dad -her husband came out in his BOXERS! he didnt say anything, but just walked away. the next day after dropping his wife off at the hospital came home as fast as he could and starting yelling at me.. i just took my stuff and left, that was the last time I saw him. I brought her flowers a week later, and that was the last time I saw her and the boys. ..


I got sick with kidney infections from the stress of the secret, and I started texting her again.. she asked me to make amends with her husband, she said that enough time had passed since I broke the house rules and brought someone into the house without their permission.. I told her I could not make amends and that I wasn't not talking to him because he yelled at me.

Then I told her.. I said __________, _________ tried having sex with me.


She then said, Your sick, how dare you try to break apart this family, how could you say that, he was like a father to you, dont ever speak this filth again, I am through with you.. and then shut off the service to my phone. ..


Its now been 5 months since then.. And I havent heard anything from her. I missed thanksgiving and christmas, and her birthday, and the boys birthday..


I miss them, greatly. I feel like a building that is missing most of its major support beams.


I want to reach out to the boys and tell them I have not abandoned them, but some how know that I shouldn't..


I am trying to move on, but its hard.


Should I just forget them? HELP!

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You are close to the woman and her children so I would suggest that you do make amends with the husband by apologizing for bringing someone into the house. I would not bring up the fact that he hit on you (or more?) and just never be in the position where you are alone with the husband. Apologize to the wife for making the accusation (statement of fact) and explain to her that you will never mention it again.


If you are attached to the children as much as you are, imagine how much they miss you. I realize that there are a lot of issues, but I think that you can avoid them by removing the possibility of them happening, i.e. only be around the family as a whole, or minus the husband.


The woman probably knows what type of person her husband is and chances are he has tried to have sex with others, but the wife wants to keep her family in tact and is most likely in denial or simply accepting her husband for what he is.

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