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Has anyone else ever felt this way?


Lauren8785

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I haven't been in a relationship in a long, long time. When I've talked to other guys and met up to see if we click, I got rejected and have been ever since I been trying to find that "special someone". Now I'm talking to someone, on a daily bases and he seems to be very nice and I enjoy talking to him, but the thing is, if we ever met in person (I met him in a chat room) I'd be afraid he'd reject me in real life, just like the others. I'm afraid of getting hurt and don't want to experience that again I try to not get attached or let this get to my head, because I don't want to develop feelings for him and then I do get hurt in the end. I'm very scared of getting hurt I won't let anyone use me or treat me like dirt, I stand my ground!

 

Also, I am very independent. I like doing my own thing when I want to. I like my alone time as well. I find it hard to sacrifice things of this nature. With this guy I am currently chatting to he wants to talk on the phone most of the time but I hate the phone I can't stand it, I find it very boring. I much rather talk in person, chat or do emails. I told him that, yet at times he still wants to. I don't know if I should tell him what I am telling ya'll here. I told him I don't play games and deal with BS, if your serious about getting to know me then fine lets get to know each other but if your playing games I'm saying goodbye and he told me he's serious about getting to know me. He lives in another state so the distance is quite a bit. I just don't know what to do, in my mind I want to keep the friendship going but then on the other hand, I don't have money like that to travel to meet him and I just like doing my own thing without worrying about someone elses feelings. I know that sounds selfish and I don't want to be, I just want to be honest and straight forward. I just feel so confused.....has anyone else felt this way??

 

My point being, have you ever entered a realtionship were you made a lot of scarifices and it was hard to??? How did you deal with it???

 

I know being in a realtionship means you have to compromise and scarifice somethings but again I dk if I can *shrugs*.

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I know what you mean about feeling conflicted in terms of whether to be alone or to pursue something...I'm the same way... My last relationship was long distance, me being in MI and him in CA.. While I missed him like crazy, it was almost ideal for me... I mean, I value my alone time VERY much. I'm very independent and don't rely on anyone for my happiness..

 

I've been dipping a toe into the dating world recently and it's like...do I really feel like doing this when I could be just doing my own thing? I think we're all a little bit selfish at times, and that's okay. It's basic human nature. So, it's like...do we venture out there and deal with the hassles of dating or do we be hermits and enjoy our alone time? I don't know...

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Why do you think he wont like you in real life? Physical appearance? Did you guys exchange pictures?

 

I know how you feel about being independent & doing your own thing without thinking of hurting someone else's feelings. I was like that a few years ago, I still am very independent and need my alone time but learned how to balance that & a relationship.

 

At that time - I truly wasn't ready for a serious relationship & wanted to only focus on myself & do my own thing without anyone in my way. There's nothing wrong with that. Long distance is tough, that's another thing to consider, maybe it would work for you since you like your alone time?

 

I think the first thing you need to do is meet this guy in person, dont waste too much time on someone that you might not end up liking in real life anyway. Dont be too scared of getting hurt, you have to take the risk sometimes. The sooner you meet this guy - the sooner you will know if he is worth your time & vice versa.

 

And yes the font/color does hurt the eyes lol

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Sorry to hurt the eyes. I thought it'd show up better but I guess not.

 

I really enjoy talking to this man and I can't stop thinking about him, but at the same time he's told me somethings that make me wonder. For one, he says he has a gf already and they only been dating for 20 days. He told me he's a big flirt, so I know those are things that aren't good, but we agreed not to like each other more then just friends, but I think there is some kind of attraction there because we talk all the time. He calls me a lot. He tells me he likes my personality and how beautiful I am, etc. Then again, how do I know he ain't saying all the same crap to another girl, you know? But whatever like I said Im trying really hard not to let this get to my head cuz I don't want to get hurt in the end. Yes, we have exchanged photos. In the past guys have told me they liked my pictures yada- yada- yada and then when we met in person its like total opposite, its puzzles me because they tell me all this stuff and then in person its completely different. I don't put fake photos up I have no reason to, so I don't know what the heck it is and I am just afraid that will happen again, if this guy and I meet sometime. I'm just really afraid of rejection and don't want to go through that kind of pain again.

 

He wants to talk on the phone all the time and he knows how much I can't tolerate it. Yet, when we're on the phone he's not totally focused on me he's always watching TV which drives me nuts but there isn't much I can do. I'd like to tell him how I feel about all this, that I have shared here with you guys, but its so hard because I want to keep a friendship with him but at the same time I can't help but think we may have a chance of becoming more... Im just so confused. I can't even think straight right now.

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It doesnt sound very good sweetheart, that he says he has got a girlfriend already and is a big flirt. I've got to say that he sounds like an absolute chancer and I would be a bit worried about you getting hurt here, which is probably why you are feeling not too sure...what do you think?

 

and then you say that he isnt really paying attention to you properly on the phone as he is watching telly.

 

Maybe you could just think of him as friends, but I suppose you are already feeling some emotional attachment to him arent you. Please dont meet him unless you are very sure.

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You are talking about a friendship that is long distance or are you talking about a potential relationship. Both realize what you're getting into. It's not your typical relationship. But I've made some very valid points in regards to what you want and what you're dishing out.

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