Jump to content

turning to anger


zarkey

Recommended Posts

So I have asked for advice here before, but I thought I’d make this one more specific. My current girlfriend is pregnant from a previous relationship. She had some encounters with a guy she had no feelings for and apparently was unlucky for one of them. She told me she was pregnant on our first date. We continued dating and I like her so much.

 

The problem is that I can’t stop thinking about the mistake she made. I can’t stop thinking about this previous guy. I can’t stop wishing that I could go back in time and change it all. What’s worse, I found that she and I had feelings for each other before she got pregnant.

 

I got on a friend’s Facebook account and looked at the previous guy’s profile to find out about him. I feel like that might be unethical maybe but I’m not sure. He’s some party-all-the-time douchebag. Pardon the term, but he seems like a trashy individual. Earlier today I imagined seeing him in public. If I had I would not have been able to control myself. I’ve never been in a fight or hurt anyone but I wouldn’t have hesitated with him. Their encounters were consensual. But it has completely turned her world upside down (she’s quit college, moved back home, and working at a cafe) and our happiness is impeded by that bad choice. And he gets off with nothing. He doesn’t have a child to be committed to for the rest of his life. He doesn’t have to put his dreams on hold. He just goes on partying and being irresponsible.

 

It really bothers me that I’m so angry… that I have such a violent reaction to thoughts of this guy… that I have no power to undo the damage on the life of the one I love. Beating some guy up won’t help with that. Nor do I have any substantial grounds for outrage, I suppose. But I still want to take his ass down. Any advice?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Really?

 

I mean, this happened before you guys even dated. The guy didn't know you were in the picture. And your girl wasn't raped. They both consented.

 

I think your anger is misdirected. I think you're just angry that you got to her after she went and got pregnant. You sure you want to pursue this relationship? If you are, you have to accept the pregnancy and her choices. She made choices.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Really?

 

I mean, this happened before you guys even dated. The guy didn't know you were in the picture. And your girl wasn't raped. They both consented.

 

I think your anger is misdirected. I think you're just angry that you got to her after she went and got pregnant. You sure you want to pursue this relationship? If you are, you have to accept the pregnancy and her choices. She made choices.

 

 

Yep, exactly. Nobody twisted he arm to have sex with this guy. It was her choice to have sex with this guy and it was her choice to continue with the pregnancy and quite school. If you want to be with her then you have to accept that she is having a child and that child will impede you and her having a carefree dating life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You have to let go of the guy, he is stupid, immature and sad but its over and done now.

 

you need to focus on your girl. im dating a girl who has a kid from a previous dude, so far its been pretty easy, but i wont lie, im unsure of what the future holds.

 

u will get lots of advice to run, how she will use u, etc.

 

but that choice is yours, and only u and she knows anything about that.

 

i could say a lot more but i wont, if u want u can message me anytime

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Really?

 

I mean, this happened before you guys even dated. The guy didn't know you were in the picture. And your girl wasn't raped. They both consented.

 

I think your anger is misdirected. I think you're just angry that you got to her after she went and got pregnant. You sure you want to pursue this relationship? If you are, you have to accept the pregnancy and her choices. She made choices.

 

 

Yes I know. That's the point of me writing all this! It's completely irrational and yet the feeling is there anyway. No use repeating my narrative back to me. Anyway, thanks for the advice.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...