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Need to be thick skinned for online dating?


shy2cool
TikTok Advice For Relationships Suc...
TikTok Advice For Relationships Sucks

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I've had zero positive responses to my profile - I've sent a number of kisses with negative replies or nothing at all. It's a bit disheartening to me personally. I am an easy going, hard working guy who is just looking to enjoy life.

 

Maybe I am too ugly? Maybe it's my cultural background?

 

I've bought credits on the site and am ready to message people.

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Sending kisses means nothing. Take your time to write a proper response to someone's profile, read what they've said about them, relate to it - in other words, show you've read it!! I have a profile on a free site and only respond to those who've obviously read it. So many don't. The "Hi, how r u?" emails are deleted unanswered. I know it's easier for women in terms of getting a response, but honestly, my profile's terrifying lol It's long (which I'm told men hate) but it's damned funny. Show your sense of humour, or anything that might make you stand out from the crowd.

 

You do have to be thick skinned, but remember, sometimes it only takes one response

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I've sent a number of kisses with negative replies or nothing at all.

 

I don't know what site your using but I'm assuming this is where you just click on an icon and the girl see's you "kisses" or "winked" or whatever the particular site says.

 

Basically what your saying with that is "I'm to lazy to spend the time to write to you so throwing this out there and hoping your really desperate for a man who show's the slightest bit of interest in you"

 

Not good odds, increase them.

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Maybe you have just not found the right match?

 

I get messages and nothing is wrong with the person trying to get to know me, they are not ugly or anything just not my type.

 

I just finally found one person after many winks, smiles ect that really stood out to me, and started speaking to him...Just takes time.

 

good luck.

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Online dating can be ego-crushing for sure. In the end, though, if a girl isn't attracted to your looks or your culture, it's just not a good match. I did online dating and often got enough emails that I ignored winks/kisses or whatever it is. Why not try sending a message to some of these girls? If you're attracted to girls in your culture, seek them out instead of waiting for other girls to respond. I doubt you're ugly and culture will only be a problem to people you don't want to waste your time with anyway.

Best wishes.

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I don't know what site your using but I'm assuming this is where you just click on an icon and the girl see's you "kisses" or "winked" or whatever the particular site says.

 

Basically what your saying with that is "I'm to lazy to spend the time to write to you so throwing this out there and hoping your really desperate for a man who show's the slightest bit of interest in you"

 

Not good odds, increase them.

 

that's a pretty good summation if that is in fact all you are doing. make it personable and show that you actually read their profile and liked what they put. use some of their hobbies and interests in your responses.

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Any random Joe can send winks or kisses to dozens of women at one time hoping to illicit a response from at least one of them.

 

You'll likely have better results if you leave a message, include some hobbies or interests.

 

Just sending a 'kiss or wink' is kind lame and seems desperate almost.

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Sending kisses means nothing. Take your time to write a proper response to someone's profile, read what they've said about them, relate to it - in other words, show you've read it!! I have a profile on a free site and only respond to those who've obviously read it. So many don't. The "Hi, how r u?" emails are deleted unanswered.

You do have to be thick skinned, but remember, sometimes it only takes one response

 

Indeed. I was also on one and got numerous "hugs, kisses, winks" it all means nothing to me. I saw it as "so you liked what you see..." literally. How about did you like what you read? I wouldn't know because all you did was wink at me. I also deleted these unanswered.

 

Make some sort of comment about what you read. Hey, you're really pretty also means nothing to me. Hope you get a better idea of how to send messages and what not. Make it a little more personal.

 

But don't forget your thick skin, your absolutely correct on that.

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do you take the time to send a message? I would never respond to random winks or kisses (during my month of online dating).

 

And yeah especially if i wasn't interested.

 

Online dating is tricky, you are just looking at a photo and a paragraph... sometimes people toss out ones that they may have really liked had they met them online and end up meeting up with people that end up being total duds.

 

maybe it's just an online dating thing...

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On-line dating is brutal, for men especially. In my opinion, there seems to be 10 men for every one woman so the odds simply aren't that great.

 

My advice, have a great, complete profile, good pictures and a positive attitude. keep your options open and realize that it's hard work.

 

Also, there seems to be alot of "crazy" and/or desparate and/or lazy and/or social disfuctional men on-line from what I've heard. Don't be one and especially don't appear to be one.

 

I'm not a huge fan of this metheod of meeting women.

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i think "winking" at somebody online is probably just about as effective as "winking" at a stranger in public.

 

i think it can be more in person...only for the fact you can see the other person and see body language and context, etc.

 

i find winking creepy actually and will never do it unless joking around and they know i'm joking. lol

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I met more losers and crazies in person than I ever met online. You just have to know how to search for what you want and how to read what a personI SN'T saying in their messages. I guess you have to be able to read between the lines. Yeah, most females don't respond to winks at all. Write the ladies, please.

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I'm meeting a guy from a dating site at the weekend (first meeting). Okay, I thought he was aesthetically pleasing from his picture (lol), but he had obviously put a lot of thought into his profile, and from his email to me (our first emails to each other crossed - weird), he'd read my profile properly too. All this "I like breathing and eating stuff" that you get on profiles is dull. "I have a great sense of humour" - don't tell me, demonstrate it somehow - anyhow! I always think that if someone can't put effort into their profile, they're unlikely to put much effort into much else. Someone somewhere likened it to job-hunting. Put the effort in. Make sure your photos are decent (instant turn offs for me are 1. holding a dead fish or animal and beaming proudly - liking to kill stuff doesn't do it for me.... 2. posing on a motorbike and beaming proudly.....boys and their toys don't do it for me.......3. Swilling a drink and looking vaguely glassy-eyed).

 

Maybe I'm just fussy lol

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That's the world of online dating. You have to leave a message-make that many messages to many different people-if you ever plan to get a response. Just know that your chances are not all that great because women get lots of messages and men get few, if any.

 

I think you're chances of meeting a compatible person are much better in the real world anyway. Then you can see what people are really like and not just a facsimile. I personally have found online "dating" to have too much of an artificial and desperate quality to be really worthwhile, IMO.

 

My suggestion is that once you use up your credits, go to a free online dating site, they're out there and are a much better deal in that there's no out of pocket to you. But for finding a mate or a date I don't think you can really beat looking in your day to day interactions. Just avoid the bars unless you're only after a casual hookup or want to increase your chances of dating an alcoholic.

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The important thing to remember is not to take this personally, because online dating is, by it's nature, very impersonal. They don't know you. All they know is a photo and what you've written.

 

Maybe you should ask for some help here with what you have written? There are a lot of good tips and cliched phrases to avoid. There could also be an overall tone to your writing that sounds dull or negative and you don't necessarily see it, because it's hard to be objective about ourselves.

 

I do agree with those who've said that writing a personalized message is a lot more effective than winks or kisses.

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i think it can be more in person...only for the fact you can see the other person and see body language and context, etc.

 

i find winking creepy actually and will never do it unless joking around and they know i'm joking. lol

 

exactly, just saying my point is that it will most likely get you nowhere online or in real life.

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I have to agree with a few of the other folks that responded here, online dating is brutal for guys. I never really felt I was unattractive until I gave online dating a try. The lack of responses or no thank you's was disheartening to say the least. I tried reading the profile and finding something in common to write the woman about but have received almost nothing in response. Women have a distinct advantage in the online dating game.

 

Good luck! I hope it works out for you.

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I've had zero positive responses to my profile - I've sent a number of kisses with negative replies or nothing at all. It's a bit disheartening to me personally. I am an easy going, hard working guy who is just looking to enjoy life.

 

Maybe I am too ugly? Maybe it's my cultural background?

 

I've bought credits on the site and am ready to message people.

 

Can you show us what your profile looks like? Maybe we can help you out?

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I think winks are perfectly fine. Why waste time writing a personal message before the woman has had the chance to see that you are interested. You wink, she winks back to show that she digs you, then you write a message. Always worked for me when I did online dating. A good profile always helps too....

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Yeah, I wonder whether the stress it actually worth it sometimes.

 

It's kinda disheartening but I know that I am attractive enough to get looks when I'm out. It's just that I hardly ever go out to pubs/bars anymore. I am not thick skinned enough to go solo, and well it's not my main priority to meet women when going out anyway.

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I think winks are perfectly fine. Why waste time writing a personal message before the woman has had the chance to see that you are interested. You wink, she winks back to show that she digs you, then you write a message. Always worked for me when I did online dating. A good profile always helps too....

 

Absolutely true. I find it weird if a guy just emails out of the blue without sending a wink/kiss first to gauge my interest. Also depending on the site, sometime you pay per email / contact.. so it's better to use the free tool to find out interest level before wasting your money on an email.

 

Shy - you know my take on this - it is disheartening, and you do have to be thick-skinned, I find I have toughened up with time and learnt to handle non interest better and better, I love internet dating for the mere fact that it helps us shy people get some sort of dating experience and learn some skills! Plus you never never know... the odds are bad, but you might just find that perfect person online!

 

Ammy

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Yes, you need to be think skinned for online dating. I know how it is like, you are taking things personal on there and feeling something is wrong with you.

I think it's difficult to make a connection with anyone on there, and it very difficult for guys.

 

I've long since given up on it. Obviously, if you are not enjoying yourself on there, then it's not really fun. But fun means different things to different people. If you can not have fun on there, then it can be sad if you are just relying on a response from someone to make or break your experience on there. To have fun, I think you have to be creative, and express yourself in a unique way where you would feel good just expressing yourself.

 

I used to be very much into it back in 2006 -- it was a roller coaster experience back then. After 2007 things died down for me on that scene and I just lost interest. I've had some sort of encounter, both good and very bad with a few of girls during that time in sequence that appears to have just growed me out of the facination I had at one time for that. I suppose I already had my fill and am not as serious about looking for anyone serious from that venue. In other words, I feel, for now at least, I've grown out of that phase and have a weak interest on it.

 

I figure most people on there I'll be incompatble with and I feel that I have enough outlets to talk to women at work or at the gym that I don't need to go online to look for a connection with someone.

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