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How do I even respond to this from my gf?


Iwantittoend

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She's Not Texting Me Like She U...
She's Not Texting Me Like She Used To
Does she live nearby? Make sure you see her after work and make sure shes ok, she might just need time to calm down. Talk to her and try and be there for her, does she say stuff like this often?

 

She lives about 20 minutes away and her work is like a half hour away. She overreacts all the time, and this isn't the first time she's told me she wants to end it all. Her self-esteem is very low.

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Has she been for any counselling. Maybe you should gently suggest she needs it. She may be overreacting because thats genuinley how she feels.

 

text her and just tell her to calm down...could you go and see her if she wants you too?

 

Not that I know of, and she'd probably flip if I did suggest it.

 

I could go but she hasn't indicated she wants me there. She's working till 3 I think.

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The first thing is to either call her asap, or go to her. Can you take the rest of the day of for a personal emergency? It sounds like she is having a very hard time. Does she have a history of anxiety/depression?

 

Can you call her parents or a friend of her that may have the opportunity to go see her?

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I remember what it was like to date someone like this. I was always on edge, always feeling more responsible for her then I should have. It's not fair of her to throw this all on you the way she's done it. At the same time, because she's an emotional wreck, you don't want to pile on. It's a catch-22 for you.

 

I would tell her my plan in very specific terms...

 

- Threatening suicide isn't a reasonable thing to say just because you're broke. A lot of people are broke right now, and they're not offing themselves. I'll help you and get you back on your feet.

 

- I love you, and I want to help you. As freaked out and depressed as you are about your money situation, it is not fair of you to put that burden on me by threatening suicide. Then, you just end up freaking me out and making me depressed as well. As I'm the person that's going to be helping you, it makes sense to treat me a lot better then that.

 

You can think "I want to kill myself" for fleeting moments, but realize that a better way to accomplish your goals would have been to say, "Overdrawn. Sucks. Hating life right now. Can I borrow some money?"

 

When you put it like that, I won't be overly stressed, I'll want to help you out, and we won't have to experience a total meltdown as a couple. So next time you want to toss all your emotional problems on top of me, think before you text because it's not fair to me.

 

--------

 

Remember that even when you have a depressed significant other, you STILL need to take care of yourself, and that includes asking for what you want/need, not being walked on, and sticking up for yourself.

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Can you try talking on the phone? This is the most brazen example of texting taking over the world!

 

We're both at work. That's the only reason we're texting.

 

She seems extremely depressed and stressed out.

Is she overly stressed lately? Or is this a normal thing for her?

 

I really don't know what to tell you, if this is a common thing for her to want to die i'd suggest she seeks help.

 

Well we've only been dating for a month and a half but it seems like everyday it is something new with her. She's ALWAYS complaining about a different thing. It wasn't like this when we first started going out but I think she just masked her problems so I wouldn't run off.

 

The first thing is to either call her asap, or go to her. Can you take the rest of the day of for a personal emergency? It sounds like she is having a very hard time. Does she have a history of anxiety/depression?

 

She gets anxiety very easily and her self-esteem is very low. She told me this early on and many times she overreacts to little things.

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She gets anxiety very easily and her self-esteem is very low. She told me this early on and many times she overreacts to little things.

 

 

You have to be extremely careful when in a relationship with someone who overreacts to such small things. It can really put a burden on the relationship always having to cater to their feelings so they don't get upset.

 

Have you called and talked to her?

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does she seem like she would actually harm herself?

 

I doubt it, but I haven't been with her long enough to really know.

 

You have to be extremely careful when in a relationship with someone who overreacts to such small things. It can really put a burden on the relationship always having to cater to their feelings so they don't get upset.

 

Have you called and talked to her?

 

Not yet. She's at work so I really can't right now.

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classic night in shining armor syndrome going on here..

 

I agree. Staying with someone like this for long enough may even cause you to become her.

 

SHE overdrew her account, and now she's flipping out because her debit card was declined? I don't mean to turn a deaf ear on her comments about dying, but given the situation it sounds like she just wants attention. And believe me, it'll happen again.

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Since you're only a month in, I would end it. Quickly. I bet it's gotten worse as the month has gone on, right?

 

I don't know if she's a manipulator, but it sure sounds like it. Consider that. Don't give her any money. Rescuing her from her financial mistakes doesn't teach her anything and will s tress you out.

 

Or if you want to help her out, go ahead, but don't expect to be paid back.

 

She's only going to get worse with time and you will feel compelled to 'save her'. However, you will soon be very exhausted because you have to 'save her' so often!!!!

 

I highly doubt she's seriously going to kill herself. I would guess this is just a big grandiose statement to get attention and sympathy for the situation she put herself into. She feels guilty and by getting sympathy from you, she feels better about herself.

 

PS Don't forget about that little jewel she said to her mom not long ago. Allow me to hand you red flag #2 - this situation!

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turnip's right. and i can speak from personal experience - i've had an ex like this.

 

when bad stuff happens to them, they pretty much never assume responsibility for it. instead, they'll start yelling about how they want to die, how they want to wreck their car, etc. and it's all a play for attention and help. they *want* you to step in and save them. be it money or doing their homework for them. and this is LEARNED behavior - they did this when they were little and it worked. and they continue to do so because of guys who don't stand up to them, instead these 'nice' guys try to console and 'save' them. believe me, you'll be sucked dry (emotionally, financially, whatever) before this relationship is over.

 

better that you step away from this.

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Orange and Turnip have the right idea, in my opinion. I, too speak from experience. Granted my ex never threatened to kill herself, she'd get herself in a situation and then get crazy, sometimes hysterical because of that situation...it's almost like "Doctor, it hurts when I do this". Well, don't do it.

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Since you're only a month in, I would end it. Quickly. I bet it's gotten worse as the month has gone on, right?

 

Oh yeah, it definitely has. It seems like she's really changed over the last week or so. I think the honeymoon period is starting to wear off and I'm finding out her true colors.

 

When she gets like she was today she gets all emotional but says all the right things to reel me in. She'll complain enough but then tell me how much she loves me and thinks I'm the greatest guy in the world, amazing, blah, blah...and I did tell her I love her already. I guess that puts me in a dilemma. I said it way too soon, and I realize it now.

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