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what do you guys think?


irishguy87

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Hey,

this is my first post so first off Hi.

 

So here's my situation.

 

My girlfriend broke up with me. I want her back and she still loves me but she says she needs to find out if im the one.

 

Basically I treated her like * * * * for a while, put her second after work. I took relationship advice from someone that steered me wrong and said some stuff that I taught was right at the time but isn't how I feel now.

 

Anyway after all this crap, we ended up breaking up.

 

I miss her terribly.

 

I asked her to get back together. She said that she wants to go out and have fun being single for a while. She said I should do the same(we are both 21) She wants to have fun while she's young. She said she still loves me and if we're ment to be that we will end up back together again.

 

We've met several times since and we both admit that the attraction is still there.

 

She was also very dependant on me. She couldn't be happy unless she was with me. This is something that she wants to change.

 

Do you guys think there is any point in waiting this out? I just don't know what to do. I'm so lonely without her.

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Hmmm... this seems to happen a lot. I'm not going to say that this will happen with you, but when my ex gave me the "I need to know you're the one" and "We need to take advantage of our youth" ultimately it was a nice way of breaking up with me. However, you should know that the roles were switched in that relationship. She treated me like crap, and I never did anything about it.

 

She ended up changing her mind after being with someone else for a bit, and wanted me back, but by then I had changed my mind.

 

Because you were the one treating her badly, it might be the other way around. I know this might just be me being the hopeless romantic that I am, but if you want her back you must show her that you've changed your ways. And if you do get back together, you need to stay that way, and don't go back to treating her like crap, or she'll leave again.

 

If she doesn't change her mind, and decides that she's happier without you, there's nothing you can do but move on. This leads me to my biggest piece of advice: Don't lose your dignity.

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You treated her like ****? Now you want her back? You should let her go & explore what she wants. She is right you are young & so is she...go out have fun & embrace your youth.

 

I have known wayyyy to many people that regretted not doing that & acting out on it now while in a relationship. Move on, like she said if it's meant to be ...it will be.

 

Also if she was very dependant on you for her own happiness - Im glad she realized that ...that's not a good trait. Good luck

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Sounds like it taking some time and space apart might be a healthy move. Sticking around and waiting won't do you any good. You don't need her to be happy. Get yourself back, and take care of yourself. Go NC and focus on you. Don't respond to her unless she says she wants to get back together.

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Thanks for the advice.

 

We are still talking alot. She says she misses talking to me. But she doesnt miss the relationship. I'm working very hard on changing my ways. I plan on keeping them changed.

 

I hope it works out. I would really like to have her back. I'm very worried she'll find someone else.

 

I know what we are doing right now may not be easy but its probably the right thing to do

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How to leave an abusive relationshi...
How to leave an abusive relationship and why it's so hard

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