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Average Joe - Good Looking Girl


onlineguy
True Beauty Consists Not In Beautif...
True Beauty Consists Not In Beautiful Appearance But In Inner Beauty Of Character

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How does an average joe appearance person attract the attention of very good looking women, who can have the interest of any man they choose ?

 

Go about being yourself. Dont try to be someone you're not.

What you may consider a very good looking woman, may seem a pretty average woman to another. It's a very individual thing.

And i dont think very good looking women can have the interest of any man they choose!

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CP - must you always be so cynical?

 

I would have thought my post was optimistic. If you can get a lot of money, or status you can have a good chance of getting an attractive girl. If you have a lot of friends she may feel compelled to date you to get into that circle of friends. I'll even say that sometimes stability will do the trick too. Don't forget that I also said that being able to tell a few jokes would be helpful.

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Oh for sure, humour is definitely important. But having money, status and humour isn't going to help if you are bitter, or lack self-confidence or are looking for a girl who is intelligent and not shallow and who doesn't really care about status.

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In all honesty mismatched couples aren't as common as people believe. They're not rare enough for people to be blown away by it, but they aren't common. The guy almost always brings something special to the table -- he has to have a personality trait or quality that far exceeds (it can't merely be comparable to) better looking guys. This can be money, this can be humor, or whatever.

 

Being comfortable in who you are is not a special personality trait and while it's admirable I doubt many people are turned on by the fact that someone's comfortable being themselves, especially if that "self" is boring or abrasive. So, you need to bring something special to the table to have a shot, and even then she could get bored with that special quality and start fooling around with people she considers to be on her level.

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So, you need to bring something special to the table to have a shot, and even then she could get bored with that special quality and start fooling around with people she considers to be on her level.

 

I think that is a big part of it all. Women will not consider a man at all unless she considers him to be on her level. That usually refers to career status and often looks or social status within a group. I don't see too many girls that date purely out of altruism. This is not a post to give the girls and ego boost, this a post to provide advice to men.

 

I have noticed that as men improve their status in life so do they improve their lot with women. Working out a lot helps too.

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ok! *throws up hands in defeat* ignore the women's advice, then!

 

I agree with you. Some ppl will never see the truth even when it smacks them in the face. They want to believe in what they keep telling themselves because to face the truth would be defeat in their own eyes.

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I agree with you. Some ppl will never see the truth even when it smacks them in the face. They want to believe in what they keep telling themselves because to face the truth would be defeat in their own eyes.

 

What's the truth? All we're saying is that if you're gonna reach for the stars you better have something about you that can serve as your ladder, because if you don't you're grasping at air. Obviously, being bitter would be an obstacle, but idk what that has to do with being an average joe so that's why we weren't "listening to the females."

 

The truth is attraction is a huge part of dating -- a very huge part. The girl can be as deep as the ocean and as intelligent as they come, but no amount of personality traits can make her dig you if she just isn't feeling it physically. There are things you can do to improve your superficial qualities (aka money/status), but your looks have a ceiling so CP said to work on something that isn't as limited.

 

Where's the lie in that? I don't see hot women pairing with scrubs around here (and since I am one of those scrubs that statement isn't offensive, LOOPHOLE).

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I think that is a big part of it all. Women will not consider a man at all unless she considers him to be on her level. That usually refers to career status and often looks or social status within a group. I don't see too many girls that date purely out of altruism. This is not a post to give the girls an ego boost, this a post to provide advice to men.

 

I have noticed that as men improve their status in life so do they improve their lot with women. Working out a lot helps too.

 

Ok, I will actually buy this.

 

from the three you mentioned before:

Money is important: the guy should be able to hold a regular, stable job and be able to support himself

Status is important: if his money is coming from selling drugs, that's not attractive. If he isn't respected in what he does, or if he doesn't respect himself, then that's not attractive.

Humour: if his sense of humour isn't insulting or completely self-deprecating.

 

But, all of those things aren't enough. They will help, and the character of the man who fulfils those qualities also says a lot, but if he is relying solely on his money or status within social circles and he is an alcoholic, or abusive, or a misogynist, or has no personal drive, has no compassion, then the only girl he's going to get is shallow and immature. That's what we're trying to say.

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Ok, I will actually buy this.

 

from the three you mentioned before:

Money is important: the guy should be able to hold a regular, stable job and be able to support himself

Status is important: if his money is coming from selling drugs, that's not attractive. If he isn't respected in what he does, or if he doesn't respect himself, then that's not attractive.

Humour: if his sense of humour isn't insulting or completely self-deprecating.

 

But, all of those things aren't enough. They will help, and the character of the man who fulfils those qualities also says a lot, but if he is relying solely on his money or status within social circles and he is an alcoholic, or abusive, or a misogynist, or has no personal drive, has no compassion, then the only girl he's going to get is shallow and immature.

 

The funny thing is the guys I know who have dating problems have stable jobs, are generally well-liked as a friend, and are fun to be around with one problem -- they're unattractive. You can attract immature and shallow women by maxing out your other qualities, but abstaining from drinking, drugs, misogyny, abuse, lethargy, and cruelty doesn't guarantee success. Being a good person doesn't always get you a good girlfriend.

 

Women don't always flock to the guy living the good life. Often, the only reward a nice guy gets is the realization that he's a nice guy because in the end no one really cares. I know a lot of women who WANT to be attracted to this type of guy and aren't, just like I know a lot of women who are attracted to guys that are bad for them and they wish they weren't. It's an interesting dynamic with looks being the prevalent theme.

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Honestly, women are socialized (some say biologically driven- whatever) to focus less on looks than personality or material benefits or compatibility. The chance a good looking woman will be attracted to an average or less than average looking man is much higher than a situation where the genders were reversed.

 

How many hot guys end up with average to ugly women? Probably fewer. It's just not that acceptable, so it doesn't happen as often.

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Being comfortable in who you are is not a special personality trait and while it's admirable I doubt many people are turned on by the fact that someone's comfortable being themselves, especially if that "self" is boring or abrasive.

 

Hear hear! I can be as confident as I want but that won't change the fact I'm (atm) boring. Your-self might not agree but it's their opinion/decision, not yours.

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Honestly, women are socialized (some say biologically driven- whatever) to focus less on looks than personality or material benefits or compatibility. The chance a good looking woman will be attracted to an average or less than average looking man is much higher than a situation where the genders were reversed.

 

I will agree that it is more likely for a good looking woman to date an average guy, rather than a good looking dude be with an average woman.

 

But dont let that fool you, dating is over half based on looks, though most will not admit it. If the above average woman is not attracted to the average joe, it does not matter what he brings to the table it wont work.

 

If she is attracted to an average joe, he stands a chance, but he probably better be a really good dude because she will find someone she is more attracted to and move on. sadly.

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How does an average joe appearance person attract the attention of very good looking women, who can have the interest of any man they choose ?

 

Usually "Joe Average Apperance" has a style or swag with him that is far more attractive than his average looks. Women like looks too, but they like a guy even more who is confident, aware of what attraction is & isn't afraid to take risks to get what he wants. His personality will make up for the few points he lacks in looks.

 

But take "Joe Look Good" and put him in the same situation. No confidence, no fireworks, no style or swag to him, no ambition... there's no nope for him.

 

The looks are never as important as the style or swag, remember that. The looks are what get your foot in the door, but the swag is what keeps you there. The swag is all about confidence, cool & knowing how to relax under pressure. If you can balance those three consistently, you got swag.

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Honestly, women are socialized (some say biologically driven- whatever) to focus less on looks than personality or material benefits or compatibility. The chance a good looking woman will be attracted to an average or less than average looking man is much higher than a situation where the genders were reversed.

 

How many hot guys end up with average to ugly women? Probably fewer. It's just not that acceptable, so it doesn't happen as often.

 

I respectfully and thoroughly disagree with the above, at least in my experience, it is much more common for a better looking man to be with a lesser looking woman than the reverse. Women who are average or above in looks, and who aren't overweight, can choose from many interested men, and the reverse is not the case. An average looking man who is in decent shape, and average in other ways can get "a" woman, but his choices are much more limited than a comparable woman's.

 

As evidence of this, go to an online dating service and compare male profiles to female. In every geography I've ever checked, the male profiles are more objectively attractive in several of the key ways than the female profiles. An average woman can do well in online dating, whereas an average man is completely dead in the water online.

 

Further evidence, look at those same female profiles on the dating site for height preference. The average male height in the U.S. is 5'9ish. Notice just how many women, what percentage, have a taller height as a dating expectation. Notice that the best looking women on the site almost always have a minimum height requirement in a man of 5'10"-6', while they may be as short as 5'2" themselves.

 

In my experience, men have certain base parameters, and above that, they content themselves with women that they can get. Most women I know and have known are all chasing the top 5-10% of men, will not accept lower, and generally make the life of the man they settle for a living hell if he doesn't fit into the top 10% in one or more areas in attempts to change him "upward." There are exceptions... few.

 

At various times in life, I've been a "top 10%er" in several key areas, and have to beat women off with a stick. At other times, when my income has been lower, or I've been in less than perfect shape (but still attractive physically), I find few options other than with women who are significantly below me in several objective ways. For men, there is no middle ground, you are either "in" or you're "out."

 

There is some truth in the rather "tongue in cheek" Ladder Theory concerning OP's topic. Google it.

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I don't know if I'm an Average Joe or not, but even if I'm above average, I'm certainly not in the top 15% of looks.

 

So with that said, I got dates because I'm intelligent, I'm different, and I knew how to market myself. You have to know where and how to look for dates, how to set a foundation of rapport that makes it hard for her to say no to a date request.

 

Or maybe I'm just a stud muffin and I don't know it

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I respectfully and thoroughly disagree with the above, at least in my experience, it is much more common for a better looking man to be with a lesser looking woman than the reverse.

 

I didn't really read the rest of your post, it said something about online dating, well that is entirely different animal. Anyway, I agree with her. My G/F and I recently compared the looks of all the couples we knew and 90% of the time the girl was better looking than the guy. We could think of only 2 or 3 cases where it was the reverse. And I notice this too just walking down the street observing couples.

 

There are only 2 explanations for this phenomenon: One, we guys just are not good looking compared to girls. Two, girls are indeed less shallow with respect to looks.

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I didn't really read the rest of your post, it said something about online dating, well that is entirely different animal.

 

Just what do you mean by an "entirely different animal?" I think those who participate in online dating is a fairly accurate sample of people at large these days. Why isn't it?

 

Anyway, I agree with her. My G/F and I recently compared the looks of all the couples we knew and 90% of the time the girl was better looking than the guy. We could think of only 2 or 3 cases where it was the reverse. And I notice this too just walking down the street observing couples.

 

Again, my contention is only representative of my experience, 26 years of dating, living in several different geographies for more than 5 years, personal knowledge of over 500 couples over the years, and observations of maybe 10,000 other couples seen out in public. Experience varies, but I'd call into question any conclusions drawn while in the presense of a SO.

 

There are only 2 explanations for this phenomenon: One, we guys just are not good looking compared to girls. Two, girls are indeed less shallow with respect to looks.

 

My big point is that women are every bit as focused on looks as men, if not moreso, and I stick by that.

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