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Don't know what to do... Been accused...


wiley

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Me and my ex have been broken up for about a month now, and I have been letting her get on with her own life now she has a new BF etc... (even though it hurts, its for the best)

 

But she left me a rather angry voicemail earlier saying someone had been calling her new BF's phone saying things like "she cant be trusted" etc.

 

Now I know nothing about this, and I understand why she would think it was me but its not. I don't even have his number and wouldn't have any way of getting it.

 

I would just let her shout at me and blame me all she wants but this is the thing...

 

She owes me alot of money.... about £6,000, so I cant just not talk to her.... And now shes threatening to stop giving me monthly payments unless the phonecalls stop.

 

Its not me and I don't know what to do. Part of me thinks its her new BF just trying to get me in trouble and just making it up.

 

Help :sad:

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I bet she is making this up in order to avoid paying you the money she owes you. The fact that she is threatening to withold payments is really what is going on here...she is alleging that you are making phone calls in order to make up an excuse as to why she won't pay you the money she owes you. You will not be able to be nice to her if this is the game she is playing. If you don't have it in writing that she owes you money then you might not ever get the money back. If you do have it in writing then you might be able to take her to something like small claims court (I don't know if they have something similar there). She will have to provide proof that you are making those phone calls...if you are not making those phone calls then she won't have that proof as an excuse to withold money. It sounds to me like she took you for a ride...she extracted money from you and then disappeared. Take this as a lesson learned not to lend huge amounts of money to girlfriends unless you have a signed IOU drafted.

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Well you tell her it wasnt you, you ask her to trust your word and ask her to act mature and not to say your guilty until she can prove its you. Ask her if shes listened to them and if they even sound like you, or he can trace them back to your number.

 

She seems to think I have got someone to call him, not me personally calling him.

 

I've said its not me and she just said "it must be you as they said some stuff that only me and you know" such as they apparently mentioned the text she sent me saying she was missing me.

 

I can't get out of it, shes going to keep pointing the finger at me.

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I would think with the advent of caller ID she could easily tell if it's you or not.

 

If she threatens to stop paying you the money she owes you take her to small claims court.

 

I dont think I would have a case to fight, we spent all the money on things for the flat which we shared, there is no proof that the stuff was bought out of the loan money. No receipts or anything :sad:

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You tell her maybe you mentioned it to a friend and thereforee he could have taken matters into is own hands.

 

Now is the time to tell her to stop being petty, pay up, and leave you alone.

 

Thats the thing, even if I did mention it to someone else (which I didnt) there would be no way I or they could have got his mobile phone number.

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It's possible that she's just playing you to try to get out of giving you the money. I would say...

 

"This has nothing to do with me, and it's insulting that you're accusing me. Since you've resorted to something this low, I'd like you to please refrain from contacting me unless it's to pay me back the money you owe me. If you do not make payments promptly then I will be contacting my lawyer.

 

Otherwise, I'd suggest that you and your new boyfriend keep your psycho friends in line, that you don't blame me for absurd events that have nothing to do with me, and that you otherwise have a great life.

 

p.s. Thanks for making it crystal clear that I lost nothing when you walked out the door.

 

Sincerely,

Insulted

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It just doesn't make sense, just an hour or so before I got "accused" we had just arranged a time for me to get the £200 tomorrow evening. (its £200 a month she usually gives me) And she was fine with it, and we ended the phonecall with the usual take care of yourself... you too.

 

She doesn't seem the type of person to do this.

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It just doesn't make sense, just an hour or so before I got "accused" we had just arranged a time for me to get the £200 tomorrow evening.

Seems to make perfect sense to me?

 

Sorry to hear it... I think she's taken you for a ride and I wouldn't be too surprised if you don't see that money again. So if this comes to the worst you will have to chalk it up to life experience and learn from it. Pretty much, if she wants to get out of this, there's no way you can force her to keep paying. If she pays 200 pounds a month, it will take her 2 and a half years to completely pay you off! I really can't see those payments continuing with her attitude.

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Yeah, if you don't have receipts and a written agreement that states she pays you back how much and how often, court will get you nowhere. I think you will just have to swallow the loss on this one. Never, never, lend money without a written agreement, even with family.

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I dont think I would have a case to fight, we spent all the money on things for the flat which we shared, there is no proof that the stuff was bought out of the loan money. No receipts or anything

 

Who kept the items you bought after the break up?

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Who kept the items you bought after the break up?

 

Well I got a loan out in my name as she couldn't get one in her name because she has a bad credit history. We then spent most of it on furniture for the new place as we had nothing to move in together with. Then we had a lovely 3 or 4 months living together.

 

We decided that she was going to stay there after the break up as I could not afford it on my own and she earns more money than me and has a female friend who was going to move in too, to save on rent.

 

So all the things we bought are in the place still, I didnt mind this because she was/is going to pay the loan re-payments to me every month. I wasn't going to pay for something I didnt use which is a fair.

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Well I got a loan out in my name as she couldn't get one in her name because she has a bad credit history. We then spent most of it on furniture for the new place as we had nothing to move in together with. Then we had a lovely 3 or 4 months living together.

 

We decided that she was going to stay there after the break up as I could not afford it on my own and she earns more money than me and has a female friend who was going to move in too, to save on rent.

 

So all the things we bought are in the place still, I didnt mind this because she was/is going to pay the loan re-payments to me every month. I wasn't going to pay for something I didnt use which is a fair.

 

Well if she won't pay you back get a moving truck and go pick up your stuff. Did you save any of the receipts? Or- did you pay for the furniture with a bank card or credit card?

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Well if she won't pay you back get a moving truck and go pick up your stuff. Did you save any of the receipts? Or- did you pay for the furniture with a bank card or credit card?

 

Yeah, I payed for it all with my bank card as the loan money was transferred into it. And I can't just go and get it all as I don't have a key anymore as I gave it back when I moved out.

 

So without receipts I don't have a leg to stand on do I?

 

A few years ago a friend said something along the lines of "possession is only 9 tenths of the law" or something... which means the person has all rights to the belongings as there is no proof it is mine.

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First, take your credit card/bank statements and reconstruct where you spent the money and on what. Second, go to the stores where you bought things and ask for copies of the receipts (take your card/bank statements with you when you do this). Third, ask her to sign a promissory note for her share, and if she wants to keep certain things, the note should reflect 100% of those things' cost. Fourth, research your local lien filing procedure from a city/county/court clerk and file a lien (called a security interest in the U.S.) with that office. If she refuses to sign a note, ask to take all personal property you paid for from the flat. If she refuses this, after you have filed the lien/security interest documents, begin proceedings in lower court against her. Be sure to file in the right court based on the amount in question jurisdiction of particular local courts. Hopefully she will be reasonable, but regardless of her cooperation, you should take steps 1-4 immediately.

 

12,000 pounds is enough at stake to find a reasonable solicitor to represent you in this matter, and if you can afford to do so, after you have done all the above, please do so.

 

EDIT: PS, are you really fine with her paying half -over time-, yet keeping all that stuff? You may be now, but plan for how you may feel in the future. Currently, she is using 12,000 pounds of your stuff that you get no benefit from other than paying it off.

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6 Simple Tips When Wrongly Accused ...
6 Simple Tips When Wrongly Accused in a Relationship

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