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ugh! .... now what?....


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I am awful when it comes to men I think....I never know what I am supposed to say or do....so I need help!


Soooo it started around Thanksgiving break. This guy came over with all of my friends to hang out and play games. (He is friends with my best guy friend) After a few drinks and flirting the night ended and we shared a kiss. After that he went home for christmas break, and I had no way to contact him and visa versa.

I thought about him over break but part of my was convinced that it was just an alcohol induced kiss, and I got over it. Everyone came back from break about two weeks ago, and he added me to facebook...and besides a comment here or there still no real communication. Finally, last weekend all of my friends got together to play poker. I needed a ride home and he offered. We pull into my apartment complex and he said he needed a place to change back into his uniform (he goes to a military college) so I invite him in. He goes to leave and tries to give me a hug, so I go with it....then he kisses me. We make out for a little while....then one thing leads to another and we have sex. It was good, but quick because he had to get back before curfew (we established it was going to be quick before hand). And we kiss a few more times before he leaves....and now.....i dont know what to do!


Its not easy to talk to him because of his school. And I don't know if I should wait until he contacts me and asks to do something again or should I? ](*,) What should I do?! I feel like I am losing my mind

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I would say that if you were dating you probably should wait for him to contact you but since it sounds like you are comfortable hanging out and hooking up I agree that you should call him and ask him to hang out again. This has nothing to do with how "men" think - it's reasonable for him to assume that since the two times you've seen him you've been comfortable hooking up, that if he feels like hooking up again with you he will call you.


Usually it works better, if you want to date someone, to let the man ask you out on a date he plans in advance, take you out on the date (preferably in a public place) and get to know each other in that situation. Then there is less risk of you and he having different ideas of what is going on.


I don't see how he could possibly know you expect him to be the one to call you, but if you let him ask you out on a date, he probably would have a better understanding of the "roles' of each of you because I am sure he knows many people who date each other and knows about dating.


But, if you are happy to have a buddy who you can hook up with when you're horny, that's cool, just call him whenever you feel like hooking up again.

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