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I feel so bad for my friend right now.


Samedy
20 Sad Friendship Quotes
20 Sad Friendship Quotes

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During the summer I traveled back to my home town to see my best friend get married. I was the best man at his wedding. I was really happy that he found someone, as he really deserved to meet someone special.

 

Last night I noticed that he had gone from "Married" on his facebook status to blank. At the time I thought he just didn't want his marital status on his facebook. I see couples doing that, as well as playing/teasing each other with such antics. So I sent him a message that was a joke about his new status.

 

He wasn't near his computer (as his MSN status said), so I just went to bed. When I woke up this morning I saw that he responded to me. He told me that his wife had had an affair with another woman.

 

I feel very bad for my friend right now and am completely confused with her behaviour. They haven't even been married for 6 months and she has an affair with a woman nearly twice her age. Aren't these the kind of wild-oats you sow BEFORE you are married?

 

He really didn't deserve this (not that anyone does). But this is a guy who didn't want a stripped at his bachelor party out of respect for his wife/fiance.

 

I suspected something was wrong for a couple of weeks as his MSN time had gone from every one in a while, to every night until the early morning.

 

Poor guy though.

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These awful thinks sadly do happen.

 

Sometimes people just discover they have a different sexuality to what they thought. Or they become afraid of the commitment and do something outrageous like his wife did.

 

Poor guy

 

Just be there for him as much as you can. Refer him to here if you have too!

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I think there was a lot of self-destructive behaviour on her part.

 

When I met her she reminded me of his ex. Very controlling and kind of a mean side to her.

 

If the economy wasn't what it is, I would invite him to come out here. Start over.

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I'm just wondering if I should suggest to his Sister (whom I'm friends with also) that she should visit him tonight. He seems to want to go at his own pace.

 

According to him, he's giving her two days to tell her family before he starts telling his friends that they're getting a divorced.

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I was talking to my friend today, and decided to ask him some more details. I asked him how he found out, and all he could tell me is he was suspicious for awhile.. According to him, the affair started less than a month after their wedding...

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I got married (to a man) knowing I was gay. I thought I could be the wife he wanted me to be and I was for a very long time. To cut a long story short, I woke up one day and realised I just couldnt be the person he needed no matter how hard I tried. We discussed it and we realised we had to end to end the marriage.

 

At no time did I even contemplate cheating on my husband. Cheating is cheating which ever way you look at it.

 

Some will say - and also in the case of your friends wife - you shouldnt have married the guy - whilst this is true to some extent, at the point of marrying my husband I honestly felt I could be all he needed. Maybe she also thought she could too. Maybe it took marrying your friend to realise she couldnt actually be that person. However, like I said - there is no excuse for cheating on the guy.

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I am sorry for your friend.

 

Sadly, a lot of people get cold feet AFTER the wedding, when the reality of the committment and sacrifices set in.

 

Sometimes cheating happens because a person thinks if they get married, their issues will go away. Some people believe being married will make them happy 24/7, or that if they get married they will never be attracted to anyone else ever again. And the list goes on and on.

 

It's sad, but people DO change upon marriage sometimes, for whatever reason. You can't always predict what may happen.

The truth is you never know what the other person is thinking.

 

The good news is since they were married for such a short time, they probably have a good shot at an annulment, which is a much less arduous process than divorce.

 

I really do feel for your friend. I think the best thing to do is just be there for him without judgement. Try not to villianize her- I'm not saying what she did was right, but bashing her will only make your friend feel worse and feel like an idiot for "not seeing it" before- I'm sure he's already going to have a lot of people who are going to say similiar things- which is probably a big fear of announcing it to others. Just be there for him, let him do things in his own time, and support him as he asks for it and on his time frame.

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