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i'm an idiot


gooey

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please kill me now and rid the world of my idiocy

 

i went out and had a few drinks. then i had more drinks. then i ended up at her place at 3 in the morning a blubbering mess. she looked great. said i did too.

 

i dont plan to pursue it any further but that was definitely several steps back. i already called her the day after apologized and said i wouldnt do it again. thats the best i could do and i cant fix it any better than that. 2 months of NC down the drain

 

i will be out back flogging myself if anyone needs me

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please kill me now and rid the world of my idiocy

 

i went out and had a few drinks. then i had more drinks. then i ended up at her place at 3 in the morning a blubbering mess. she looked great. said i did too.

 

i dont plan to pursue it any further but that was definitely several steps back. i already called her the day after apologized and said i wouldnt do it again. thats the best i could do and i cant fix it any better than that. 2 months of NC down the drain

 

i will be out back flogging myself if anyone needs me

 

It totally sucks, but you're not an idiot, just human. Now that you've done it and feel so crappy about it, it will be easier to stay NC this time around. I swear it would have been a lot more difficult to stay NC with my ex if right after our breakup I hadn't gone over to his (new) house at 2am and caught him in bed with the other woman who I didn't know he was seeing.

 

I'm glad you posted that it set you several steps back because I'm having the most impossible time not contacting my ex today and I am one week shy of two months NC. It helps to have someone say from personal immediate experience that it was a big mistake.

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i was doing so well. i didnt call her over the holidays and on her birthday last week. ive thrown out all her things got rid of her picture and phone numbers and now this. guess i wasnt healing as well as i thought. :sigh: onwards...

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I'm glad you posted that it set you several steps back because I'm having the most impossible time not contacting my ex today and I am one week shy of two months NC. It helps to have someone say from personal immediate experience that it was a big mistake.

 

yes it will be a big mistake take it from me. stay strong and you will feel better about yourself. its like quitting smoking in that respect (which i really should do). "just one cigarette/one visit" may seem like a good idea at the time but youre going to be tossing out all the progress youve made so far

 

of course you know what happened to me so feel free to poo-poo my advice

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please kill me now and rid the world of my idiocy

 

i went out and had a few drinks. then i had more drinks. then i ended up at her place at 3 in the morning a blubbering mess. she looked great. said i did too.

 

i dont plan to pursue it any further but that was definitely several steps back. i already called her the day after apologized and said i wouldnt do it again. thats the best i could do and i cant fix it any better than that. 2 months of NC down the drain

 

i will be out back flogging myself if anyone needs me

 

The slates clean. You apologised. At least she said you looked good. At least you didnt puke on her shoes....

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who cares? it's not even about her. Who cares if you farted in front of her or saw you trip and fall? She has nothing to add/take from your life. She is stranger than even a stranger on the street. She is on the bag of "bad" which is worse than being a stranger.

 

Just take this as a lesson for YOU. Learn so YOU will heal. Who gives a F what she thinks. It's over and done with. Treat her like what she is - history.

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please kill me now and rid the world of my idiocy

 

i went out and had a few drinks. then i had more drinks. then i ended up at her place at 3 in the morning a blubbering mess. she looked great. said i did too.

 

i dont plan to pursue it any further but that was definitely several steps back. i already called her the day after apologized and said i wouldnt do it again. thats the best i could do and i cant fix it any better than that. 2 months of NC down the drain

 

i will be out back flogging myself if anyone needs me

 

LOL hahahaha! I did the same thing a month after my ex broke up with me. I told her I had no idea how I made it to her house because I was so drunk. I asked if I could stay over at her house. She let me sleep in the guest room by myself. I felt like a moron and left as soon as I sobered up.

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oh god you stayed over. i at least had enough wits about me to keep the conversation short and left right after. stayed 10 minutes tops. although i did drip a few drunken tears on her when we hugged

 

i dont really remember how i got there (honestly!) all i knew was she wasnt home. i was lying on a bench in front of her house pondering my next move when she walked up

 

i think its time to lay off the sauce for a while

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