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When you get voicemail..


Stinkweed

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I am terrible at this. And that's probably an understatement. And I feel stupid, and like a waste of space for making so many different threads when it could all be in just one, but I know that after a certain amount of time, when the thread is not on the front page, I won't get any replies (not on time at least).

 

Bare with me one more time, please. So I called this one girl who gave me her number and got voicemail. It wasn't early at all, lol. Anyway, I left a message with my name, number and saying that I'd call again later (dunno if that was the best idea). Thing is, I dunno when to call back, lol. I was thinking about waiting til 5ish, 6ish (I called when it was around 2pm). Thing is I wanna do this, but I start to work on something and time goes by and I don't wanna forget, lol (believe me, this is important to me, just that I have lots to do and I find losing myself pleasant, cause this is kinda nerve-racking to me... I try not to feel like that, though, cause it's okay if she were to turn me down and what not... Just, I dunno, I wish I could do things perfectly just so I could know that I did the best I could... I try to think I did the best I could, but it's always pretty hard, with everything and every girl I've asked out, etc). So, what do you think, about how long I should wait?

 

EDIT: Also, what do I do if I get voicemail again?

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When do you think she'll be home to answer the phone? Even when someone tells me they will call me back, if I get the message before I hear from them again I will just call them. But some people think there are "rules" when you start dating someone, like "ooh I don't want to appear anxious so I won't call him since he said he will call me again". Personally I think that is silly but people do it.

 

Do you have any idea what her plans are for today? Call her when you think she isn't busy. If you aren't trying to hang out with her tonight & are just calling to talk or set it up for another day, I would probably call at like 8. It's not too late & most people I would think would be available to answer the phone. Ie, if you called her at 6 maybe she would be eating out with her friends & wouldn't be in an appropriate setting to answer & have a conversatioin with you.

 

Set the alarm on your phone so you won't have to concentrate on not forgetting all day!

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Thanks for your reply! I dunno about her plans or when she might be available. All I know is about my plans and I will definitively need an alarm, cause I'm gonna see some friends and I'm just gonna be in the moment and don't wanna forget this, lol. I'll call around 8, then, cause, yes, I was going to call just to set something up for another day. So, what if I get voicemail again?

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i think that everything in life ... INCLUDING what you are dealing with right now as far as this girl .... happens just the way that it is suppose to happen. Really, take that in and believe it. Additionally, this part of meeting someone is part of it ... the "when do i call them?" or the "should i call them at all?" or the "when i call and they answer... what do i say, exactly?" or how about the "ok... i called... left a message and they haven't responded yet... what do i do?" ..... Just remember with all of this, with all of these feelings and questions and anxiety ... you are taking risks and chances .... and that is something that soooo many people in Life do not do at all. Risks and chances we take... that is living. So, if she calls back... just talk with her. If she doesn't call back... personally, I would not call again. I would just move on and meet another girl... You sound like a seriously awesome person and sometimes the awesome people (especially the romantics that all of us girls SAY we want) just get overlooked. However! you awesome romantics are also the ones that win in the end ... just be patient with yourself and try to live in the moment instead of overthinking situations.

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I almost always call or text twice before giving up on them. Because you SAID you would call back again, you should. If you get her voicemail again, I'd leave another message. "Hey Giselle, it's Stinkweed. I'm just hanging out with some friends (or whatever you're doing) & I thought I'd see if you could chat. Anyway, if you get this before 10 tonight (or however late you stay up) you can give me a call back. Otherwise just give me a call sometime this week. Have a good night! Bye."

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I almost always call or text twice before giving up on them. Because you SAID you would call back again, you should. If you get her voicemail again, I'd leave another message. "Hey Giselle, it's Stinkweed. I'm just hanging out with some friends (or whatever you're doing) & I thought I'd see if you could chat. Anyway, if you get this before 10 tonight (or however late you stay up) you can give me a call back. Otherwise just give me a call sometime this week. Have a good night! Bye."

 

Yes, I will call once more. Thank you so much for the advice!

 

I try to think of things that way, you know "whatever happens happens for a reason." Still I've always been hard on myself... I've been working on that, but it's one of the hardest things...

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Yes, I will call once more. Thank you so much for the advice!

 

No problem!

 

I try to think of things that way, you know "whatever happens happens for a reason." Still I've always been hard on myself... I've been working on that, but it's one of the hardest things...

 

I don't think things happen for a reason. They happen (or not) because you make them happen, or because you don't.

 

Of course things also depend on other peoples' actions but SOMEONE has to initiate it! That is just what I think. I don't really believe in "fate" or anything. I like to think I have some control over my life.

 

Things will work out with something or someone one way or another.

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I don't think things happen for a reason. They happen (or not) because you make them happen, or because you don't.

 

Of course things also depend on other peoples' actions but SOMEONE has to initiate it! That is just what I think. I don't really believe in "fate" or anything. I like to think I have some control over my life.

 

Things will work out with something or someone one way or another.

 

Well, yeah, I don't believe that if you live under a rock you'll meet friends just cause everything happens for a reason. But I meant that I'm trying to do this well, lol. I know I'm not good at this... If she turned me down, there's other girls out there, though...

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You have the right state of mind. Honestly I don't even leave voicemails lol. I'm even shy to do that. I'd rather they pick up when I call.

 

I like the advice about calling her, and if you get voicemail tell her to call you when she gets a chance. Since you did call once already.

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Well, yeah, I don't believe that if you live under a rock you'll meet friends just cause everything happens for a reason. But I meant that I'm trying to do this well, lol. I know I'm not good at this... If she turned me down, there's other girls out there, though...

 

Haha, yeah. Most people aren't "good" at dating! But after you do it a few times(go on dates, that is) it becomes less nerve-racking & more of a good time. And you stop worrying so much about exactly when to call & exactly what to say. It just takes time. When you put yourself outside of your comfort zone for a while, eventually it becomes.. well, less outside your comfort zone.

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You have the right state of mind. Honestly I don't even leave voicemails lol. I'm even shy to do that. I'd rather they pick up when I call.

 

I like the advice about calling her, and if you get voicemail tell her to call you when she gets a chance. Since you did call once already.

 

Well yes, I'd much rather they pick up, but... if they don't and they see a stranger number called twice and left no message and then they get to find out who it was when they do pick up, I think it might just be weird... So yeah, I'll just leave one more and that's that...

 

Haha, yeah. Most people aren't "good" at dating! But after you do it a few times(go on dates, that is) it becomes less nerve-racking & more of a good time. And you stop worrying so much about exactly when to call & exactly what to say. It just takes time. When you put yourself outside of your comfort zone for a while, eventually it becomes.. well, less outside your comfort zone.

 

Well I've become pretty decent at making friends, and what not... It wasn't too hard for me, just took a change of mindset and immediately saw results. But with dating it looks so much harder to get better, for some reason, lol... I dunno. I'm definitively not a natural... Well, I guess I'll call again in not too long and that's gonna be the end of it.

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What lead you to this conclusion?

 

Well I posted in some other thread the details. Basically I called when we agreed would be a good time yesterday. Got voicemail. I left a message saying I would probably call later (I meant to say probably at x: xx pm, but I didn't know when i was gonna be free again, so I stumbled). So, I called again 4-5 hours later (still at a reasonable time. Could have not been later than 9pm). Got voice mail again, and left a message saying I was calling to finish planning, and said she could call me back whenever she had the chance. She hasn't called, and I'm sure she won't. That'd be too much to expect from someone that's not me (Of course if somebody goes out of their way and asks me to call, even if I don't feel like talking to them, I call and ask what's up. Seems like the perfectly normal thing to do. I know I'd want everybody else to do the same for me)...

 

Why give me her number, really? If this happens one more time, I'll throw in the towel. Not worth my time, energy, dignity (every time I boost somebody's ego, and they OBVIOUSLY don't deserve it, I feel like I gave them a piece of my dignity. Were it just a compliment, it'd be different, but I'm talking about something else... like I try to believe them, and they think I genuinely do, but they just, meh. It doesn't matter), etc.

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