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What should I do?!


konfused
If He Likes You He'll Do This -...
If He Likes You He'll Do This - Harsh Truth

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Hi...bear with me, I'm kinda new at this...

 

You see...There's this guy, let's just call him L, and he's this guy that's extremely silly and fun that I like for the past...near to two years. We were actually pretty close a year ago and he told me that he loved me but a month after, I don't know...he just cuts me off and comes back a different guy. I still like him but am to shy to do anything about it. I've been trying to get over him but everytime I see him I can't stop looking at him. A good friend of mine, let's call him H, apparently has had feelings for me for a year. Recently I've been spending a lot of time with H and am afraid that I might actually fall for him. I'm just so comfortable around him that I let him get past my guard and end up with him almost kissing me. I know that I should just tell him again that we're both just friends and it'd be better for us to stay that way but last night there was this moment that it's as if i'd be fine with him kissing me and when I realized I was horrified. I don't know what's wrong with me! I'm definitely not over L and am afraid of H, what should I do?

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Why are you afraid you might fall for H? Would that be such a bad thing? L has made it clear he doesn't want a relationship with you...forget his "I love you" words..they are meaningless since he backed off from you. I would tell H that you are only interested in friendship at the moment. If at some point you change your mind, hopefully he hasn't found someone else.

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Work on getting over L and tell H to back off a little while you're still getting over L? Do you like your friend? If so, why does it horrify you that you two could end up together?

 

I'm not horrified by that thought, I'm horrified that I actually feel this way. I mean...he's always been kind of a brother to me and it feels somewhat like incest if I really think about it. Oh, and H doesn't know about L only my friend C knows.

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I'm not horrified by that thought, I'm horrified that I actually feel this way. I mean...he's always been kind of a brother to me and it feels somewhat like incest if I really think about it. Oh, and H doesn't know about L only my friend C knows.

 

Soon we'll have the rest of the alphabet join us lol On a more serious note, my parents gave me some really good advice once - marry your best friend. While we're not talking marriage here, you and H have a good friendship and it could turn into a good relationship. if however, the thought of this is incredibly uncomfortable for you, you need to be honest with H. Does he know that you know he likes you?

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Why are you afraid you might fall for H? Would that be such a bad thing? L has made it clear he doesn't want a relationship with you...forget his "I love you" words..they are meaningless since he backed off from you. I would tell H that you are only interested in friendship at the moment. If at some point you change your mind, hopefully he hasn't found someone else.

 

With H, it's always kind of in-the-moment things that make me kind of jittery. Sometimes he just doesn't seem right for me, well everyone has they're jerk moments, but...I don't know, it just seems kind of unreal to think about. I can't picture it. and plus, I've always seen him as a brother, isn't that just incest?!

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i'd forget L. just get over him. he backed away from you, there's nothing left there. H has potential. if he's your friend, he's probably a good guy, and he has cared about you for a while. just tell him you aren't ready to jump into anything right away, but want to continue spending time with him. who knows - he might be the best boyfriend ever!

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Soon we'll have the rest of the alphabet join us lol On a more serious note, my parents gave me some really good advice once - marry your best friend. While we're not talking marriage here, you and H have a good friendship and it could turn into a good relationship. if however, the thought of this is incredibly uncomfortable for you, you need to be honest with H. Does he know that you know he likes you?
wow...marriage well, i guess i know he wont cheat? um...i'm not really sure he knows about that. I know that most of my friends know that I know...I guess he knows? but...he always dodges and changes the topic if i lead the conversation in that direction. I don't want to force him to talk about it.
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Thanks for all the reply you guys are the best! I think I'll talk to H first, even if he's uncomfortable with it, it'd be better to talk about it, yeah? Any advice on how to get over a guy? To my shame, I still am kind of stuck with him. After he cut me off for a few months he's starting to come closer. Should I cut him off this time for good or...hope that i'd be able to accept the just friends label and not go completely mental?

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Thanks for all the reply you guys are the best! I think I'll talk to H first, even if he's uncomfortable with it, it'd be better to talk about it, yeah? Any advice on how to get over a guy? To my shame, I still am kind of stuck with him. After he cut me off for a few months he's starting to come closer. Should I cut him off this time for good or...hope that i'd be able to accept the just friends label and not go completely mental?

 

I think you may need to back away from L for a little while. getting over someone isn't easy but it's made marginally easier by distance. From your messages it's clear you're not ready to be friends, it's not something you can force and hope for the best. Take some time for yourself to really get over L.

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