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thoughts on conversation


whes

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When we're just talking, I sometimes think that maybe we wouldn't be so good together after all, or that maybe I don't want him as much as I do at other times. It's talking to each other, however, that we are most inexperienced at. Knowing how the other person thinks is hard, and we both said that sometimes we have no idea what goes on in the other's head. That goes for ordinary, day-to-day stuff just the same as it does for the more important things.

 

There is a way of talking about things, important or ordinary, that tells the person listening part of who you are. And it is not in the content of what you are saying, but how you are saying it. Your tone of voice, the weight you give it, your enthusiasm, the animation in your eyes, your descriptions, body language, all of it.

 

There is another way of talking that removes your self from the words, so that they become somewhat hollow and devoid of character, a mere framework of sentences, rather than a dense structure of experience and individuality.

 

I don't speak in a way, with him, that really imbues myself to him. I am holding back. I feel disconnected from him when we talk because I am not putting myself out there like I am when we are together physically. It's scarier with words, because they are so much more specific. And their meanings are a lot denser.

 

Not all of the things we say to each other have to or should be serious things, but you should always speak so that there is a connection between your self and your words. If your words do not reflect you, then they are meaningless: you will have both diminished the listener's importance to you and cheated yourself out of being honest and having something real of yourself out in the world.

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Depends on what you are talking about.If it is personal then you need to talk in a personal manner. If it is technical then I can honestly say that getting emotional explaining how to use a spanner seems a little sidetracking.

 

What is improtant in face to face is that when you talk to someone that they know they are important to you and what they say. On the internet its hard to convey when they cant see your face or look in your eyes ..

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When He Says He Wants Space | Begin...
When He Says He Wants Space | Beginner's Guide

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