Jump to content

Men, do you compare your woman to other (unrealistic) women?


HerDestiny

Recommended Posts

5 Red Flags In Relationships
5 Red Flags In Relationships

I've always been curious about this. Personally, I had the opportunity to go out with a Chippendale years back. The guys body was UNBELIEVABLE. Nice car, perfect hair, magic smile...

 

Too bad he had nothing between his ears. We couldn't hold a conversation and most of the time he barely made sense.

 

However, my friends would high-five me while I went out with him, telling me how HOT and gorgeous he was and how great we looked together.

 

I don't think they could comprehend why I broke it off. All they thought about was how he looked. They could barely speak in his presense.

 

There are some very unrealistic things about men on TV, in movies, commercials and not every guy spends his days working out to have a buff body like my ex. Also, I'm close friends with some bands and they have a stage presense. Perfect hair, clothes, strut when they walk, etc...

 

My boyfriend of the past two years is NOTHING like these guys. But, I never compare him to anyone. At least, never in the looks department. Love my boyfriend even though he's got a few extra pounds, he's hairy, never worked out a day in his life.

 

And yet...here I am attracted to him.

 

MEN -- Do you ever compare the woman you're with to models, actresses, women in the music industry, etc?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First of all what is an 'unrealistic' woman? I always thought the term is a bit odd. Is it a woman who works out and keeps her body in shape? There are plenty of them so they must be realistic. Most the women I know fit that category.

 

Do I go around comparing a woman I date to every other woman? No. Do I expect her to put forth reasonable efforts on her physical self (work out and keep in shape)? Yes. Not just for look (though that is one reason), but for increased life, better sex (no fun having sex with a woman who is tired after a couple minutes because she is so out of shape), etc. And keeping in shape doesn't just mean eating right and staying within a healthy weight range, it also means keeping reasonably tone muscles. I know many women who 'think' they are in shape because they eat well, but they never exercise and wonder why their doctors tell them to start. It is better to exercise and have a few extra pounds than it is to not exercise at all and be at an ideal weight.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

MEN -- Do you ever compare the woman you're with to models, actresses, women in the music industry, etc?

 

My second ex was 10. In every aspect except maturity.

 

Girl I currently date is a model - 10 only in looks.

 

Do I compare? Yes, I do...and my etalon is my second ex. Does that mean I wouldn't go for one with less qualities? Of course not. But also, I am pretty sure about features that every date with prospect for more must have.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

99.9% huh? Many of the actresses and models I've seen are fair, not necessarily drop-dead gorgeous but pretty. If 99.9% of the people you run into are not then you must know mostly unattractive and ugly people (no offense), and only 1 in 1000 (100% - 99.9%) pretty/attractive person.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay, when I said that 99.9% don't look like my ex, it's because most of the people I run into are hard working and don't have the time he did to wax his body hair off and spend the majority of his time at the gym. It's not realistic to think that most people have the time to spend most of their day on their looks. They're working, taking care of their responsibilities so I don't expect them to look like supermodels or Chippendales. I don't expect most men to look like Brad Pitt (he's got more time to spend on his clothes and hair) and I also don't expect most men to look like professional wrestlers (tan, buff, confident).

 

This doesn't mean to me that all the men I run into on a regular basis are ugly. They're just not like strippers, wrestlers or Brendan Fraser.

 

I, personally, can't compare men like my boyfriend to these types of people and I don't see professional wrestlers walking into the convenience store I go into for a bottle of water.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, we compare our women to other (unrealistic) women. We also compare ourselves to other (unrealistic) men. It's kind of inevitable and mostly healthy. If you start giving your partner (or yourself) a hard time about not living up to that unrealistic standard, then it's a problem.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

HerDestiny,

 

Oh ok. I go all over the place (locally anyway), and I see what I consider very attractive women everywhere. Well it may just be me though, but some of those super models, actresses (that many of my friends gawk over) I don't really find all that attractive. I mean some of them are attractive, but then again so are ~50% of the women I see, maybe ~25% really attractive. But I've been told I have weird classifications of attraction.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My ex was very simple minded. Had two things that went through his head day and night. Working out...and his car. Well, he was clingy so he had a third thing -- ME.

 

I broke it off with him gently because he did nothing wrong. If anything, we shouldn't have rushed into a relationship until we got past that infatuation phase.

 

But, I don't compare my boyfriend who works hard and takes care of his responsibilities to my ex or ever think "I wish he had a body like my ex did".

 

I wondered though...since men are supposed to be such visually stimulated creatures, are they completely different in their thinking?

 

To me, my first thought is what my ex looked like but my immediate second thought is "he was sweet in a dopey kind of way but just not for me, hope he's doing well" so I'm automatically turned off.

 

I don't ever think "I wish my boyfriend was buff like my ex" or "I wish my boyfriend had platinum blonde hair like my ex".

 

My ex looked unrealistically perfect on the outside. I'd take my hairy, hard working boyfriend over him any day AND find him sexy as anything!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do i compare to other women? Nope...my owner has a very unique beauty that no one i have met can really compare...

In saying that .. A long time ago i seduced an 11/10 only to find she was terrible in bed and had little intelect. After.. I wished i had a big steak instead lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't want to sound like a "hero" (I hate those forum guys!), but I don't really compare my wife to the perfect image you speak of. Its probably because these perfect women are brought to me as 2 dimensional portrayals... and there's a big difference between a real person and a magazine ad.

 

Might I ever compare her to other women I interact with in real life?... maybe... but my wife is damned attractive and despite having her "trouble areas", she has enough positive (amazing) things (physically and otherwise) that I don't even really notice the bad things unless I'm trying to. To that end, she will likely always win (I did marry her, after all).

 

So, basically I compare real women to each other, but I never compare ANY real women (not just my wife) to unrealistic air brushed images.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Top Bloke...cholesterol levels...Ha, ha!! You're a character...

 

Lecturer...you sound like you feel the way I do in that I see these 'rock star' guys I'm friends with, my ex and actors in movies and on TV really...the same as you see people in magazine ads as two dimensional, unrealistic and airbrushed.

 

Like i said earlier, when I go to the local convenience store (in a highly populated area right outside NYC), I'm not seeing guys walking in who look like professional wrestlers or Brad Pitt clones. They're what I think of as 'regular people'. I don't classify my ex with 'regular people' because i hardly bump into guys who look like him. He was so unreal to me. Superficial.

 

I actually LIKE my boyfriends imperfections and am attracted to him partly because of it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ready2Heal...I have a feeling no one is going to correct you on that one!

 

Personally, if my boyfriend and ex-boyfriend were standing naked in the room with me and i had a choice...sorry buff stripper boy...I'm attracted to the 'realness' of my boyfriend and find it sexy!

 

But even saying that, I wonder if men feel that way being that they're so visually stimulated?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ready2Heal...I have a feeling no one is going to correct you on that one!

 

Personally, if my boyfriend and ex-boyfriend were standing naked in the room with me and i had a choice...sorry buff stripper boy...I'm attracted to the 'realness' of my boyfriend and find it sexy!

 

But even saying that, I wonder if men feel that way being that they're so visually stimulated?

 

I think you may have touched on the reason most women in committed relationships with men don't invite other women to be naked in their bedroom.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

But even saying that, I wonder if men feel that way being that they're so visually stimulated?

 

 

 

 

What does count for me as a man is that I want to please her mind,her soul,appreciate her for the woman she is as I can appreciate the whole woman and not just her body..its a total experience.

A bond like that and all other women dissappear when that special lady is in my heart..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i find women attractive in their own way. they possess different characteristics and looks that i find attractive. do i compare them? subconsciously maybe. but i used to see a girl that was in playboy. she was actually smart. we just didn't mesh the best to work out. i don't use her as a comparison though. my standard is in my head of what i want, not because of this person or that person.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My recent ex use to goes on and on and on about how much I look like Angelina Jolie, or Eva Longoria...which is silly b/c they look nothing alike...but anyway, he was ALWAYS telling me how hot I was.....Basically this tells me that he doesn't care if I have any brains at all as long as I'm hot.

 

My ex ex though, never once compared me to anyone, his compliments were sincere and directed only at me....He truly was in love with me, not only the way I look.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The girl I'm curently seeing looks nothing like your avg. (unrealistic woman).

 

She's has a great personality, a sense of humor, we share the same musical tastes, which is very hard to find (especially in a woman).

 

She is the first woman I've ever dated that isn't obsessed with clothes (t-shirt and jeans/ leather coat, we even rock the same studded belt.

 

She doesn't wear makeup, she doesn't need to, she is naturally beautiful.

 

She doesn't spend all day on her hair, just a quick brush.

 

She is not your typical "hot" as portrayed by the media. But she is absolutly astopnishing to me inside and out. And I wouldn't trade my time with her for any of the magazine cover girls you see out there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...