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My first time .. it didnt happen


Satsuma

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Well today me and my SO tried to have sex. This was my first time, but not his. But it just didnt really happen, what i mean by that is that it wouldnt go in. We both were not sure as to why this was happening, i was fairly relaxed because im comfortable around him so it couldnt be that i was really tense/tight. I thought maybe he was not hard enough, because he put alot of force on me (to try get it in) but it like.. bent from the pressure? Thats how i can describe it. We tried two different positions to see if that would help but it didnt really. Do you think it was because he was not hard enough or me being too tight or maybe another reason? Because of this first time not working its kind of got me thinking 'will it ever work/happen' so its kind of put me off in a way. Any thoughts appreciated.

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It will happen.

In many cases things don't work out immediately and having sex for the first time falls into that category.

Don't try do over-analyse it.

Try it again.

And I hope you feel comfortable enough to talk about it with your bf as well.

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Don't worry. The first time doesn't always work. Sometimes it just takes some time. You need to be really, really relaxed and be very very well lubricated for it to work. But it will happen. Just got to keep trying and not let it get you down.

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It sounds like he wasn't hard enough... That or you might have a hymen that covers the entire entrance which is highly unlikely since it would have been discovered through other ways. *winces* It sounded like it was really painful for you.

 

I think the missionary position is the easiest way for penetration as compared to the doggystyle etc... which puts more pressure on the hymen.

 

Those are the only positions that come to mind at 5am right now. Sorry...

 

Don't worry about it too much, it will happen.

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Sounds like he wasn't hard enough.

 

My bf has a hard time falling out and getting back in after a long time having sex. It's not that he isn't turned on, so don't worry about that. It just happens.

 

Next time, try more foreplay. Get the tension up before he goes in. It should make him harder. Is he on any medication? If nothing else works, he can go to a doctor to make sure that he isn't suffering from an inability to get hard enough.

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he may have not been hard enough, that is possible. but he would be able to say if he wasn't or not.

next time use a lot of lube, on him AND you.

get him to put his fingers in you first during foreplay, then give it a shot.

he may only be able to enter you half way or even a quarter of the way at first if you're really tight, but just have him keep pulling out and enter you more gradually.

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It might be because it was your first time... he was a bit more nervous about you. It's a bit stressful being someones first. Especially if he is focused on you. He wants you to enjoy it. He wants to be good. He wants it to be memorable. So it can actually put a bit more stress than he is used to and thereforee affect his performance.

 

On the foreplay issues. Do you two perform other sexual activities on each other? Like oral and/or finger play? If you have performed oral on him then you would have an idea on his rigidness. If he performs oral on you it may help you be a bit more lubricated. If he has used his fingers on you than it might help him understand your body a bit more.

 

Bottomline. Let it happen when it is ready. This is perfectly normal. Really nothing to add more stress to. Enjoy each other. You can be intimate and enjoy sexuality without even having intercourse. When/if this happens again, just slow down, move to other actitivies and allow it to move along at its pace.

 

Good luck. Have fun.

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