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Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

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Ok

 

So we just broke up like a week ago, wasent working or going well. So it was a mutual break up.

 

She still has feelings for me, she even came to my place yesterday for a reunion. Her idea, but was good to see her again. Even if we know it wont work we still care for eachother.

 

Now my problems are two folded.

 

1: Is this right or wrong and why do I think this? I feel like a little jeaoulusy. I feel lika a beautifull girl like her only needs to go to a bar, and now problem she just smiles and guys will come she will choice who she wants. But Im a guy we need to work for it and go to the girls and charm them, they just choice. Its buming me out and making me uncomfortable to think that all she has to do is smile and bing guys come.

 

2:

This sucks as well, she is going out tonight with her friends, she told me. Its fine its not the fact she is going out that bothers me. Its that I want t go out, but all my buddys are out of town or staying in with there GF´s.

 

So is nr 1 just a wrong idea of what its like for girls to go out? Or what and why do I think about it?

 

Nr 2 why am I so bumed out that she is going out and Im stuck at home cause they are all "busy" my friends, kinde of feels like ok she has loads of friends and can move on. Im beeing left behind.

 

I dont mind the fact she is going out Im serious dont think thats it. I just have this feeling like np for her to move on and go out and find new guys. Im stuck here and have to "work" to justifie my self for girls.

 

please some advice.

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Hey dude that's common feelings don't worry.

It hurts to see that your ex can move on faster than you...cause she's pretty and she just has to snap fingers to find a guy...I don't know why it bothers us dumpees though, but it's a fact that it does. I keep comparing what I'm doing with what she could be doing. If I think that I'm having a better time, I feel relieved...otherwise, I get upset. Strange, huh?

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it might be easier for someone 'attractive' to get the attention of someone new, but in the end they struggle the same way to find and start new relationships. just read here on ENA, regardless of looks in the end finding 'the right one' is often difficult.

 

if it is easier for girls than for guys to find someone new? - i am not sure, with all the changing dating rules and cultures i find it is confusing for anyone. it's not as if a girl just has to sit in a bar and there is a line of guys forming in front of her and all she has to do is pick one. if you are the kind of person who does all the approaching, at least you are only approaching someone you are interested in. if you are a person who is waiting to be approached, more often than not it's a person you are not interested in and some of them don't seem to get that 'not intereste' means not interested.

 

if you feel you have neglected your social circle and not maintained your friendships or made new friends, now is a good time to do something about it. so maybe all your friends are out of town. really all? did you speak to/ contact all of them? even if they don't have time to hang out with you, i am sure some of them would like a phone chat.

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Sighsob, wow hehehe you nailed it I sometimes get that feeling.

 

Well there is a school skitrip so like 8 of them are out of town, 3 of them dont want to go out. the last 5 are haning with GF.

 

but its true I need to make new friends, I have alot of people I know, but need to make more close friends. But its weird cause they almost all except for 3 have girlfriends.

 

I never neglected them, but didnt make new friends. I was o comfortable with the status quo

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Yeah, that's how it works. In a bar. Or ... if she is an attractive girl, then life is probably like that for her.

 

But, when you have someone else on your mind and you're in a fresh break-up, it's hard to be interested in anyone that shows interest. It can even be upsetting. Like the, "Why YOU, you shmuck with nice hair, why can't you be my ex... *sobs into her drink*" Even if the guy looks like he stepped out of a magazine.

 

Or maybe that's just me? I guess there are people out there who throw themselves onto new people just to distract themselves... but they are emotionally retarded and you don't want someone like that anyway. And remember, it doesn't matter in the end, because that loser that might be hitting on her isn't YOU! And until she's over you, it's never gonna really hit that spot.

 

I'm not helping, am I? Ugh...Well, I'm sorry. I've been there, sitting at home feeling like a loser while my ex is out partying it up. You'll get through it.

 

And if it's only been a week, I guarantee there will be some drunken crying.

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hahaha ladybug you got it, Im alittle drunk. So bear with me. But its true, I went out finally, and the girls that I had a clear shot for I still froze and was like, wait your not even half the girl my ex is.

 

* * * * Im screwed arent I? I dont want to be dating and this huzzel I want a relationship and kids and the white picket fence.

 

uffff Im really in a mess, I had at least three clear shots to go home with and each time I froze. Whats that about, now Im just alittel depressed and dreading tomorrow when I wake up.

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