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I'm so tired of the self-interested game playing! I'm done!


justletgo07

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I'm about 5 months ahead of you and here is my advice. At this point let her think whatever she wants. You create your own reality. You walk away knowing you were mature and considerate albeit heartbroken. She may walk away feeling like she has some power but in the end you decide how much power she really has. Start pitying her from a distance. Realize that she is a sad person for needing anything from you after hurting you. Move on to something new. Maybe one day she will grow up and realize how selfish she is, maybe not. My ex labeled me as bitter because I wouldn't have anything to do with her. Your ex will look for ways to validate her decision to walk away as well. Breaking up sucks but mature people respect their exes pain. Immature and selfish people want you to pine over them because they have low self esteem.

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Any thoughts as to what I can expect from this point forward? This was technically our second conversation about not talking/not being friends. The 1st was 2 months ago. I couldn't gather from our conversation if she had given up. She never said "I will respect your decision."

 

Just wondering. I realize that no one can predict the future, but it sounds like these situations often follow basic trends and patterns.

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yeah sure. You decide when you move on. If it's up to her (like it is right now) you will be in this place until she finds someone she really likes. She'll say sorry but I have moved on and you should too. She will pity you but not really care because you were so emotionally draining to her. Or you move on and she freaks out a little bit and makes minimal effort to get you interested again. You ignore her and she finds some other guy to fill her emptiness until she finds true love. You had her, you lost her let her lose you while there is still something to lose. Maybe (big maybe) someday she will come snooping around but more than likely she will just go on with life. It sucks man, I know. It's broken though and you need to get out before you lose any more respect for yourself. Just remember this crap happens to everyone at least once. You loved though man. It's a great thing. Now get back to your own life (as hard as it is). If you have any hopes of getting back together it won't be until she respects you again and that will take a long time, if any. When I was 21 I led some girl on for a while. She finally broke the code and stood up to me. I wasn't heartbroken but I respected her. Several years later I still remember her fondly. If she remained a doormat though I would think about how pathetic she was. Karma caught up with me, it will catch up to your ex, but you may not ever hear of it.

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