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I feel kind of silly feeling the way I do and making this post. However, some of the articles I've read have suggested that writing about your feelings can help with the healing process. I'm not sure if they meant publicly, lol.

 

I met this woman playing an online game I enjoy and we became friends. We obviously had similar interests. A connection formed and grew, we became more than friends, we felt as though we had found our soul mates. We started talking on the phone, becoming more and more connected and were convinced we'd found the "one". We decided to meet, we live a state away, 10 hour drive! We hit it off, fell completely head over heels in love with one another.

 

The reason I feel silly is because the relationship I'm so torn up over, more so than ever before in my life, happens to be the shortest and strangest one to date as well. We only met twice, spent about a week and a half total in person with one another. Yet, never in my entire life have I felt so strongly for someone, and I'm 30 years old and have been in some significant relationships.

 

By speaking so much online, and on the phone we developed a deep mental connection to one another. More so then in previous relationships that had a constant physical aspect to them. I understood this person more than anyone I've ever met, and she understood me the same. If we fought we had to work it out through pure communication, no physical touch that can help sooth a persons sore feelings and make forgiving, forgetting and moving on so much easier. I feel as though this relationship, and maybe other relationships that are long distance may in fact develop a stronger connection than being in love with the person that lives with you or close by.

 

Today is three weeks that we've been broken up. She broke up with me. We struggled at times in our relationship and fought on occasion over simple petty things. Never screamed or yelled at one another, we respected each other too much to do such a thing. But, picked at one another, and as time went on the picking became more frequent.

 

She's different than I am in a significant way that caused the break up. She was raised in a very calm, peaceful environment where no one fought or picked on one another. I was raised in an environment where there was fighting on a daily basis. So, the bickering and picking we would do with one another effected her much more than it did me. I almost view it as normal and expected to do such a thing in a relationship. She felt the complete opposite and it made her feel bad to have this happen frequently. She felt bad about herself for being a part of it, and felt bad for me having made her a part of it. Our relationship ended.

 

I honestly feel more broken than I ever have in my life. Functioning as a normal human being seems impossible. I've cried my eyes out over her, something I've never done in the past. I physically hurt over a mental pain!

 

I planned a future with this woman. We discussed moving in together, buying a home with one another. She never wanted children but felt the urge with me, we talked about the names we would give the children we would have. We basically formed a plan for the rest of our lives together and in one day, over that one last bicker, it was just gone!

 

Now here I am, alone, miserable, hurting. Not only having to deal with the woman I still believe to be the greatest person I've met in my life having left me, but what seems like my entire future, the way I had it planned in my head, completely destroyed. I have no plans now, no special woman, nothing...I'm lost!

 

She's just honestly a person with a heart of gold. We still talk almost every day, and she'll sit there and listen to me cry on the phone to her about all the things I just wrote and try to help me get past it. What person do you know would do this? No one that I've ever met! I'm so very scared there is no one else like her in this world! And even if there is, what are the odds we'll find one another, and form a similar connection?

 

Today was incredibly difficult, maybe the most of the three weeks we've been just friends. She has a date tomorrow with a man she met. I of course think the world of her and want her to be happy, so I wished her well, and told her that I hope he's a good man and she finds someone that can make her happy. I really do want her to be happy, I just wish it was with me. I told her that too, we're still open and honest with one another about our feelings. Mine of regret and wishing she was still mine, and hers of acceptance and the willingness to move on because she knows we're not right for one another.

 

Do you believe it's healthy to continue speaking to one another like we do? She's moving on and like I said, accepted this as the right decision. I haven't come to that point yet, and still regret and wish things were different. Should I avoid contact until I come to that point as well? It's hard to imagine going a day without speaking to her, what if I lose her as a friend too by doing so? I don't know, I don't know what to do at times.

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Wow, this is exactly what happened between my bf and I. He too, came from a calm famly; whereas I did not. We fought all the time, something I thought was normal. He, not so much.

 

He left me and moved back home. He still says he loves me and wants me to move back with him. Only his mom isn't up for it, and he follows her rules given that he is staying at her home. He'll probably break up with me because of this too.

 

I admire your courage and grace, given how you've handled this situation. If we do break up, I'd probably cease talking to my bf. Only because I'd want him to be happy. I'd want to be happy and know that I wouldn't had I continue to talk with him. Selfish? Maybe so, but I'd have to do what's right for me. Maybe after some time passes by, we could speak again. For some, though, taking time apart only to speak again after all, only brings back the pain and memories. It all depends on the person.

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Do you think you could address the issue of you picking fights? It might also affect future relationships.

 

i owuldnt give up all hope yet. Continue to talk to her on the phone and try to stay calm. It sounds liek she felt the same about you, and possibly this guy she is dating will just blow over.

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Thank you both for the replies!

 

"Do you think you could address the issue of you picking fights? It might also affect future relationships."

 

We actually asked a similar question tonight in our conversation. I definitely have to learn to let small insignificant things go. This will no doubt affect future relationships.

 

This woman is truly amazing in my eyes and I could not just swallow some simple imperfections. I had to pick at them, try to analyze them, which drew her into it further and caused the same reaction in return. This small stupid thing, would turn into an issue when it never had to be.

 

I think back on it and call myself a fool. How could I play a part in ruining something amazing over nothing. We were both guilty of it, and this is why she believes we're not meant to be. Almost as though we brought out something bad in one another.

 

I still disagree and would put up with tons of bad for the amazing good which outweighs all else, in my opinion. But, this goes back to how we were raised and the people we are today. She's not willing to, and I understand. I just have to find some way to move on and feel good again.

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