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Need advice, please!


chokeonit

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So the story begins... My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. We met online and he flew down after some time to live with me. We're 22, btw. Everything was great at first. He came down and stayed at a hotel for a month, while he tried to look for a job. He was so sweet and caring. Yet I always tried to push him away.

 

So after about 2 months of living with each other, things went really bad. We fought all the time. I'd always throw him out. Let's just say, I was really emotionally unstable, due to things that happened to me in the past. He was the first person I had told about my past. And that I kept everything bottled up for years.

 

Skip to now. He had finally had enough of me and went back to his hometown in MI. We lived with my mom, so that drove him nuts. Then again, he lived with his mom as well. Still does. Add that to our financial problems, his lack of having friends and feeling alone, all the fighting had finally taken it's toll.

 

He said he wanted me to move up with him, only his mom is preventing him from doing so. She keeps coming up with reasons for why I shouldn't. I think she doesn't like me and is trying to delay my trip, in hopes that he'll find someone else. She won't even talk to me. Mind you, she had no problem opening up her home to both of us a short while back. She felt as though I needed to get away from where I live now, due to it's bad memories. Go somewhere that's different and much more calm. Have a new start.

 

I bought a train ticket to go up there on Monday. I don't have very much money, so I wouldn't know what I'd do in regards to having a place to stay. My goal is to try to talk to his mom and convince her that I'm not a bad person, given that she'd only hear bad things about me from my bf over the phone. I'm only going because I know my bf wants me there, only he's afraid of what his mom would say. He's kind of a mama's boy. Instead of standing up for himself and I, he'd rather not go up against her wishes. Since it is her home after all and he'd fear being thrown out.

 

I'm confused. I love him, I know he wants me there with him. I'm afraid that I'm going to go there, and find him not to be there to pick me up when I arrive in Flint. He said he'd talk to his mom today about me coming up; and he'd call me. He hasn't called me. I think she really got to him this time and he'll want to dump me. I think he'd leave me out in the cold, in order to avoid pissing his mom off.

 

I'm just going on a whim here and hope that I can change their minds, allow his mom to meet me in person and explain to her with him, how everything happened. I know I'm immensely stupid for thinking this way. But understand that before he came down here to stay with me, I had told him not to because I was afraid. He came down anyway, found me and etc. I feel as though I owe it to him, us, to take that leap of faith and show him that care and would do the same for him.

 

What should I do?

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I bought a train ticket to go up there on Monday. I don't have very much money, so I wouldn't know what I'd do in regards to having a place to stay. My goal is to try to talk to his mom and convince her that I'm not a bad person, given that she'd only hear bad things about me from my bf over the phone.

 

He's a mommas boy and you're going to talk to his mom? I'd say try to get your money back, there's one of two ways that will come down:

 

1) She wants him out of her house/life. Yay. He's yours.

 

2) She doesn't want him out of her house/life. Much more likely. Good luck.

 

I know I'm immensely stupid for thinking this way

 

What should I do?

 

Listen to your initial instinct and stop degrading it.

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