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nobody hates introverts?


suttajasekundaa
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I need your help, please convince me (and other introverts as well, of course) that introversion is not considered completely hideous characteristic and turn-off.

Being over a decade "late" of my age group on dating and relationships I'm well on my way in becoming a bitter and notoriously evil man who uses all his time and effort in retaliating the world that rejected him, and this... your opinion might just be the glimpse of hope that would save me from the fate described above.

 

Please tell me there is a reason why someone would actually like introverts

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They can keep a secret and don't gossip, there's as many things to like about an introvert as an extrovert. Problem is that by definition it's hard to get to know an introvert and it's impossible to like someone if you don't know them, conversely it's human nature to distrust things we don't understand... and nobody can understand you if you don't make yourself visible.

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Sometimes introverts are great doers rather than great talkers. Who cares what dating experience others have...many people with a rich dating life just take anybody..they prefer quantity over quality. As an introvert you won't have the rich dating life that others have...but where you lack in quantity you will likely make up for in quality.

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I need your help, please convince me (and other introverts as well, of course) that introversion is not considered completely hideous characteristic and turn-off.

Being over a decade "late" of my age group on dating and relationships I'm well on my way in becoming a bitter and notoriously evil man who uses all his time and effort in retaliating the world that rejected him, and this... your opinion might just be the glimpse of hope that would save me from the fate described above.

 

Please tell me there is a reason why someone would actually like introverts

 

Why don't you spend that same energy helping starving kids? You can still be an introvert, but you'd eventually at least make some people happy and be remembered well, as opposed to you doing anti-social acts that push you further from the mainstream and give people legitimate reasons to dislike you, leading you down a never-ending cycle of revenge and hatred.

 

Evil, introverted people are allowed to make people smile; no one's going to be any more or less intimidated by you over it, no one's going to think it makes you soft.

 

I'm all for being evil. I wouldn't be any other way. But there is a difference between being potentially aggressive in general, and being actively destructive to specific people.

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Sometimes introverts are great doers rather than great talkers. Who cares what dating experience others have...many people with a rich dating life just take anybody..they prefer quantity over quality. As an introvert you won't have the rich dating life that others have...but where you lack in quantity you will likely make up for in quality.

 

*edit* you deserve rep for that... but this damn site won't lemme give it to you unless I "spread" it around a little more, I'm not one to hand out rep often...not tryin to abuse it, wish they would fix that...

 

 

Good explanation I like that. I'm probably what you would consider an introvert, at least when it comes to public talking... I'm better with words and typing because it gives me more time to think about what I say. I'm not big on parties, and if I ever went to bars, or do go to bars, I usually don't go to talk... I go to dance. It's not hard to get to know me, but I'm not going to make a huge effort to chase others around... I'm a better listener, and I'm a good friend. I didn't have a bad dating life, but I had my share of things I'd rather not deal with any more(sleeping around, dating more than one girl at once, and dramatic girls).

 

My girlfriend doesn't like it sometimes because she is a very talkative person, and after a while, if we go to parties, I just run out of things to talk about because I like to talk about things and discuss things... that most don't bring up at a party with friends and such. I'm not above anyone else per se, I'm just not into TV, movies, games, gossip as much as most others are at parties I go to... So when her and I hang out, she doesn't like that I can't always "say" what I feel, but I'm much better at doing...and showing what I feel. I'm a doer... and a thinker, not a speaker. If you can do them all...great, but this is just me.

 

It's good to reach outside your boundaries OP, but that doesn't mean you have to change your outlook... change your perspective on people, and yourself, and give others a chance, introversion is not a bad thing as long as it's not obsessive and addictive to a point where you' PREFER being alone all the time... k?

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i'm an introvert as i'm concerned about my future. i have my career, i go to school, i do a lot of things myself, etc. but i'm an extrovert a lot as i love to hang with friends, go out, party, meet new people, etc. i always think i'm missing something if i stay in.

 

i think if you are too far one way or the other, it can be boring to a person who isn't near that side of the spectrum.

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I don't think anyone necessarily hates introverts. They just don't think we're very exciting. I know it takes me quite a while to get to know someone before I can start to be myself and engage in interesting conversation. Obviously, this leads to having less friends, but more high quality friends.

 

You will find it more difficult to meet women as an introvert. There's no doubt about that, but it is possible. Personally, I would only ever date another introvert because extroverts don't "get" me. They don't understand that I need time to myself and I don't like to go out and party every weekend. The problem is, the extroverts are always the guys who approach me because they are less shy. I just wish a nice, shy guy would approach me for once.

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As an introvert myself, it has been my experience that it isn't so much that people hate introverts per se. Rather, a lot of the more extroverted people tend to think that we hate them. Because we aren't constantly engaging them in conversation, they often take that to mean that we are rejecting them.

 

As MollyElise said above, a lot of times we introverts become well liked because we develop a reputation as great listeners that won't spread gossip. That's the role we assume by default. If we want to change that, it is up to us to take the initiative to reach out a bit more.

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I don't think anyone hates introverts. I think that you just get limited options as an introvert, naturally, because you are not putting yourself out there as much as your extroverted counterparts.

 

I know many introverts, however, who still push themselves beyond their comfort zones so don't just succomb to being an introvert. If there is smoething you really want that you feel your introversion is causing you not to get, push yourself outside of your comfort zone a bit more. Don't always take the path of least resistance.

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