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My Ex boyfriend and I were together for a year when we broke up for good yesterday. After dating for about 8 months I left for college, while I was away I became so depressed and I came home after the first semester. However, When I left for school he did some things that broke my trust. After that, I had a melt down. I have been going into a depression, for the last 4 months I have been miserable, and I cannot seem to pull myself out of it. Now sadley, I have taken my boyfriend down with me. We have both messed up badly, when we broke up we both cried, he kissed me, he told me he loved me, he still called that night, he says he misses me. However, he saying we are not happy and something needs to be done, and I believe he is right. He doesn't think he could ever be with me again, we are at the end, Im not the person he fell inlove with anymore. My heart is just broken, I love him so much, he quit saying he loved me, he said it was unfair to me, he doesnt know what will happen in the future...

 

I feel just devastated. All of this happened because I cant love myself. My self esteem has ruined my relationship. Right now, Im doing my best to just move along, focus on making myself happy, for my own sake.

 

At the same time, I really love him and I dont know how easy it will be for me to get over him, i want to be with him so bad, but he deserves to be happy too.

I want to find the happy me, and have him too. How do i change though?

 

I need some advice.

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At the same time, I really love him and I dont know how easy it will be for me to get over him, i want to be with him so bad, but he deserves to be happy too.

I want to find the happy me, and have him too. How do i change though?

 

I need some advice.

 

I'm a rationalist and probably not the first person who should be responding to this, but I'd like ya to know someone out here is at least paying attention.

 

Love is tragic sometimes. You're at a critical state in your life, and you need to keep focused on school no matter what; if you drop out you may take years just to get back to the point you're at now.

 

I can't tell you how to mend a broken heart, although I do know it's terrible to have one. Only time is going to answer your questions. In the meantime I suggest you try to find something in life that calls to you, something you love doing you can pour yourself into that isn't some other person.

 

As far as guys and what his behavior means, one of the ladies here can probably evaluate better than I can; I'm no good at the emotional stuff.

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However, he saying we are not happy and something needs to be done, and I believe he is right. He doesn't think he could ever be with me again, we are at the end, Im not the person he fell inlove with anymore. My heart is just broken, I love him so much, he quit saying he loved me, he said it was unfair to me, he doesnt know what will happen in the future...

 

Ouch. Well, given what you said right here, I think it's time for you to start grieving the relationship and start working on yourself. With some distance maybe the relationship can be recovered later, but right now you need to focus on yourself and getting you to where you want to be in your life.

 

Distance (and by that I mean NC) might also help soften his feelings towards you so he can forget all the bad stuff and remember the good stuff.

 

Your relationships (this one or a future one) would benefit a lot if you could get yourself to a place where you are happy with or without him.

 

Do you maybe need some counseling for your depression, maybe see your doctor about some meds?

 

Make goals for yourself that have nothing to do with being in a relationship. Spend time with friends and make new ones. Cultivate hobbies. Give school another shot maybe?

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