The golden rule works.

[waveseer]

For anyone who doesn't know the golden rule, it's do unto others what you would have them do unto you.

 

Now it isn't perfect and it doesn't cover every single case, but it helps so much to put yourself in the other person's position and see how you would feel before reacting to any immediate situation which could lead to conflict.

 

In my experience there are people who never, ever do this. It's almost unbelievable to me how anyone could manage to get through life without considering the opinions of others. There are also people who do this too much and end up losing themselves in the process.

 

It really boils down to empathy. Too little and I become indifferent and thoughtless, too much and I become my own worst enemy. There is a time for other-empathy and there is a time for self-empathy.

 

Thoughts?

[stella74]

I live by the golden rule. Yes, it really does work!

 

You're right r2h, it has to do with empathy. The main idea is that by treating others with kindness and compassion, you are showing others how you want to be treated.

 

I learned the golden rule from my mother when I was very little and it had a huge impact on me. The other saying I like is: people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. It's sort of similar to the golden rule.

[De Mon Fa De]

For anyone who doesn't know the golden rule, it's do unto others what you would have them do unto you.

 

I follow a different rule; I do unto others what I would. It is not a nice rule.

 

Total lack of empathy is a slippery slope down a dark philosophical path, I'd avoid it if possible.

 

Of course, too much and you stop and pickup turtles out of the road so they don't get squished by cars, then you get run over.

 

Nature loves moderation. Except in space. Or inside a volcano. Ok, nature is pretty crazy, too.

[wtm78]

unfortunately i live by the golden rule... i do unto others what you would have them do unto me.. but they dont do the same.. i think man are somehow inward looking.. everyone cares about how they want to be treated right.. but they forgot that others need the same treatment back.. well.. it is an imperfect world to start off with...

[stella74]

Of course, too much and you stop and pickup turtles out of the road so they don't get squished by cars, then you get run over.

 

Yes, but the idea is that you don't have to do anything that you wouldn't expect anyone (or any animal in your example) to do for you. I would never expect someone to give up their life for me.

[stella74]

i do unto others what you would have them do unto me.. but they dont do the same

 

At least you've lived your life knowing you've taken the higher road.

[waveseer]

I follow a different rule; I do unto others what I would. It is not a nice rule.

 

Total lack of empathy is a slippery slope down a dark philosophical path, I'd avoid it if possible.

 

Of course, too much and you stop and pickup turtles out of the road so they don't get squished by cars, then you get run over.

 

Nature loves moderation. Except in space. Or inside a volcano. Ok, nature is pretty crazy, too.

 

You have interesting thoughts. The natural forces have no empathy whatsoever, they just keep doing their respective jobs with either more or less intensity depending on the moment.

[waveseer]

I live by the golden rule. Yes, it really does work!

 

You're right r2h, it has to do with empathy. The main idea is that by treating others with kindness and compassion, you are showing others how you want to be treated.

 

I learned the golden rule from my mother when I was very little and it had a huge impact on me. The other saying I like is: people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. It's sort of similar to the golden rule.

 

Thank you! My mother taught it to me too, but more importantly she lives it so I could see how it works in practice.

[waveseer]

unfortunately i live by the golden rule... i do unto others what you would have them do unto me.. but they dont do the same.. i think man are somehow inward looking.. everyone cares about how they want to be treated right.. but they forgot that others need the same treatment back.. well.. it is an imperfect world to start off with...

 

If I am feeling the way you describe it is because I have overused the golden rule. Right now you need some self-empathy, it's only natural that you would end up feeling exactly the way you do right now. Give yourself a break, you do your best to treat people right. No more than that can be asked of you.

[stella74]

more importantly she lives it so I could see how it works in practice.

 

That's great! Unfortunately, my mother wasn't really able to practice what she preached. But I've had other close people in my life who were able to follow the golden rule and actually practice it, so I saw how it worked. I saw that these people were the most content and happy in life.

[waveseer]

That's great! Unfortunately, my mother wasn't really able to practice what she preached. But I've had other close people in my life who were able to follow the golden rule and actually practice it, so I saw how it worked. I saw that these people were the most content and happy in life.

 

Well, my mom isn't perfect at it and neither am I. And I do agree, there is a very basic key to happiness in making it a working part of my life.

[De Mon Fa De]

You have interesting thoughts. The natural forces have no empathy whatsoever, they just keep doing their respective jobs with either more or less intensity depending on the moment.

 

I wonder a lot about karma, and if it's real or just a good idea that has some basis in reality.

 

A lot of people treat karma like it's a law of physics. I'm not saying it is or isn't, I just find that belief interesting.

[wtm78]

If I am feeling the way you describe it is because I have overused the golden rule. Right now you need some self-empathy, it's only natural that you would end up feeling exactly the way you do right now. Give yourself a break, you do your best to treat people right. No more than that can be asked of you.

 

thanks.. i do need some.. sometimes our hands gets biten by whom you have fed.. it is not a nice feeling.. i often get publicly accused of things i have not done too.. i guess you are right to say.. as long as you know you have done what is right to do.. but then again.. sometimes we also wish that we are treated the way we have put our efforts to treat the others too... you think?

[waveseer]

I wonder a lot about karma, and if it's real or just a good idea that has some basis in reality.

 

A lot of people treat karma like it's a law of physics. I'm not saying it is or isn't, I just find that belief interesting.

 

Some people hide revenge behind karma, and I don't believe that's what karma means at all.

 

If I put out positive energy, I will draw positive events into my life. And..

If I put out negative energy, I will draw negative events into my life.

 

It's almost entirely a matter of perspective and attitude. That's karma.

[waveseer]

thanks.. i do need some.. sometimes our hands gets biten by whom you have fed.. it is not a nice feeling.. i often get publicly accused of things i have not done too.. i guess you are right to say.. as long as you know you have done what is right to do.. but then again.. sometimes we also wish that we are treated the way we have put our efforts to treat the others too... you think?

 

We always wish we could be treated the way we'd like to be. It doesn't always work that way, and sometimes it seems like it doesn't often work that way. I find that if I look hard enough, I can find at least one positive for every negative no matter what.

[liquer]

It’s not just in relationship but in all areas of live the golden rule works.

 

I suppose for atheists out there the rule could be that you must act as a universal legislator. How you act, sets laws for others to follow.

[duppy_conqueror]

i think its true ready2heal. i guess the saying 'practice what you preach' applies somewhat to the golden rule. it clears your conscience, and peace of mind, to be the most well-balanced, best person you can be. and if people cant act the same way, you can only hope they one day open their minds to that kind of wisdom and lifestyle.

[COtuner]

I love the Golden Rule, wish more people did. I hit burnout sometimes, when I try hard to be helpful, and friendly, and give of myself and people either take advantage or (in my current case) are so selfish as to use it against me.

[COtuner]

Some people hide revenge behind karma, and I don't believe that's what karma means at all.

 

If I put out positive energy, I will draw positive events into my life. And..

If I put out negative energy, I will draw negative events into my life.

 

It's almost entirely a matter of perspective and attitude. That's karma.

 

I totally buy this. Although I've discovered good intentions can be negative energy sometimes (maybe that's why they pave the road to hell?). Possibly because we are motivated to do something for the wrong intrinsic reason.

 

.

[Batya33]

One mistake that I think is made (and I have made) is to presume that the way you want to give to the person is how they want to receive. So, if someone is sick, you might feel like calling every day to check in but maybe what they really want is to be left alone and find their favorite soup delivered at their door - so that takes putting in the effort to know the person and to ask the person with sincerity what they need. When my close friend was dying of a terminal illness what she wanted was space even though I desperately wanted to see her. I put her needs first.

 

Not sure OP what "self-empathy" means - I thought the whole point of empathy was being other-directed. Interesting term!