How Do I stop Loving her? I Lover Her So Much

[kenny13]

This is a long complicated story, so bear with me. During the last 2 years of my life, I have met one of the best girls I have ever met. The moment I met her, I immediately fell for her. She's everything I would ever want in a girl, she's smart, funny, great personality, and just down right gorgeous. Being friends with her was the greatest and worst 2 years of my life.

 

When I first met her, we got along great. We would often break together, talk at work for hours, and leave at night together. One night I managed to grow a pair and ask her for her number. She gave it to me without hesitation. We immediately started to text each other like crazy that night. I just felt so happy. I felt like she was the one.

 

We would often talk about everything, but she left out one tiny detail. She has a boyfriend. I was pretty devastated to be quite I honest. I avoided her for a few days and didn't call or text her. But I felt like that was rude and cruel since she has been nothing but nice to me. Still, I stood by her and would talk to her and laugh and have a good time like we always did.

 

Still, there was always that part of me that loves her like crazy. In the past few months, I have found myself depressed a lot at times. I often cried at night or in the shower because of the whole situation of loving her. She has really changed my life that no other girl I have ever met could do. She motivated me to go to college, be more outgoing, and just be a better me in general. Every night I pray that I can meet someone like her if I can't have her, but it never happens. I just want to hold her in my arms and tell her that she means the world to me, but I can't and it really is hurting me. I've listened to friends and family who said to move on, but I can't. I've tried keeping myself busy by going to the gym, working more, hanging out with friends, but at the end of the night, I just think about her again.

 

People tell me it's a crush or infatuation, but I know it's not. I've liked girls before and never had these kind of feelings. I'm willing to die for this girl if I had to. I love her so much, but I know I can't be with her. I really don't know what to do anymore..just typing this is making me sad enough.

[kenny13]

Thanks for the advice. Believe me, I would have already told her, but since we work/attend college together, it would be very awkward. I know she likes me as a good friend and maybe she would go out with me if she didn't have a bf, but she does and I don't want to put her in a situation like that. I'm sure her bf loves her just as much as I do and it would be selfish of me to do that. Still, my feelings for will remain stronger than ever.

[Xplode]

Lads, simple case of there is more fish in the sea.

 

if there is one of these girls then there must be more. odds are you wont find them if your wanting just her.

 

easy to say from my end. gut wrenching for your end.

 

but being friends with the girl ur crazy about will only hurt more. start the stages of recovery.. tell her how you feel if she doesnt reciprocate. then go NC.

 

Good luck guys, you both sound very genuine, and it sucks to see the nice guys on the side. when odd are there bf wont appreciated them as much as ether of use would.

 

All the Best,

X-

[bnd610]

I think you may have waited to long. As a woman I can tell you that once a guy is a friend, its hard to think of him any other way. I look at some of my long time guy friends like my brothers. That doesn't mean there isn't still hope for you.

 

 

I think you should take your own advice. Its good. Talk to her about it but try not to weird her out. In other words, don't sound desparate. Unless the relationship she is in is horrible, she is not going to leave the guy she is with to be with you. Women are very in touch with their feelings and tend to be in touch with other's feelings as well. If nothing else just tell her to get it out in the open. I can't promise this will end well. Things tend to get weird after that. Just don't bring it up more than once and it should even itself out. If all that works out and she eventually leaves the guy she's with, ask her if she wants to go out. Make it clear that it wouldn't be as friends. That will give her the oppurtunity to see you differently.

 

On another note, I've had guys think they were in love with me just because I was there for them as a friend. Make sure that this isn't all it is.

[kenny13]

I think you may have waited to long. As a woman I can tell you that once a guy is a friend, its hard to think of him any other way. I look at some of my long time guy friends like my brothers. That doesn't mean there isn't still hope for you.

 

Ah yes, the dreaded friend zone. I'm probably there, but I don't want to ruin my friendship either. I think one of the reasons why she is attracted to me so much is because when we met, I didn't come off as one of the typical guys at work who had feelings for her or wanted to get in her pants. I was just there to listen to her and be there for her. I feel if I express my feelings, I will disappoint her as just another guy trying to get with her.