do you think shes done with me?

[mw430]

my story

 

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tell me what u guys think...together for 4.5 years. we broke up over the summer..(the 3rd time)i was pining over her..she seemed done..a month and a half later she called me crying saying she was confused and still loved me..i took her back(we have a 2 year old daughter together)im pretty sure she didnt do nething then.i met a few girls during that time.she was adimant about me gettin rid of there phone numbers.no problem.this was september.we fell back in love,or so it seemed.she even wanted to elope.we were making love alot.then come late november it started to dwindle.she started a new job at agym.in december i brought up the lack of love.she jumped on splittin up.3 days later she met a guy for a drink.(a guy from the gym)we were still living together but broken up.i bugged out and stole her phone and called him and threatened him..we fought,she assaulted me.i called the cops,they arrested me(go figure)they talked her into a restraining oirder(which was dropped the next week)but meanwhile,we abonded our house,she moved into her grandmas house in her hometown with our daughter and i moved in with my ma a hundred miles away..this was mid december.i heard from my sister that she had sex with a guy she met at the gym a week after the arrest.meanwhile the whole time im heartbroken,being crazy,missing my daughter,and missing her.now i know,for at least the last 2 or so weeks,shes been having sex with a guy who she knew from her hometown years ago..i have not been able to jump that fence yet cuz im not ready naturally..i have realized that im heartbroken..when i asked her how it was so easy to go and share her love with someone this soon her response was she wasnt heartbroken like me..i dont believe it..i know she feels free now that shes not with me away from me but i think shes goin thru a phase of some sort..shes only 23.this is not like her at all.or at least what i thought she was like.she is crazy.usually crazy about me.but not now for sum reason..i dont know if i could ever forgive her for this behavior.sad part is,bcuz of my kid,and my love for her,i would accept this and try to fix it and look past it but it hurts so bad.she thinks she did nothing wrong bcuz were not togateher..it still is wrong...i just want to know why she could feel like this is ok this soon and if she ever wanted to come back,should i be worried that she would want to jump the fence again or maybe this was just a young,selfish pahase she needed to get out of her system..note(2 months ago we made love and she wanted to elope ,she meant it..thats how she is,madly in love with me or cant stand me)we were also living in a place she couldnt stand..now shes home where she always wanted to go and live and used to beg me to go there,but its the midle of nowhere..its like she started a new life within weeks without me and doesnt need me obviously...but i have to admit,knowing her as well as i do,i am absolutely shocked she jumped into bed with someone..its really not like her..maybe shes trying to get over me in a weird way

[julioiglesia]

I think you should find someone who treats you right and puts you in the center of everything. if she plays games with you, she aint the right girl. and if you don't want to be treated like a chopped liver then don't chase after a chopped liver.

good luck

[mw430]

its makes it so hard cuz we got a kid who i love more than anything u know.plus there were so many times when our love was def.meant to be and true..and plenty of times they werent..i dont know anymore

[dreamguy]

Your love for your kid should be something TOTALLY different from your love for your ex.

I say love your kid more than anything in this world and do what you can to see your daughter as much as you can and be there for her as she grows up.

 

On the other hand, drop the mother because she is too much of a hassle anyway and she doesn't have a clue what she wants.

Go do what's best for YOU. if you fall in love with someone else who treats you better then it would be great. If not, well at least you would have not wasted your life waiting for someone who doesn't know what they want. Your life is yours and if you don't live it, no one will live it for you.

[mw430]

i know and a lot of people have told me what you just said and i know its right..its just hard sometimes u know.i juust would give anything to have my family back together and happy and full of love,but it just wont be.my ex is selfish and young,and probably just doesnt have a clue what she wantsits sad bcuz im a great dad(although my ex never appreciated that bcuz she grew up without a father and thinks she grew up fine)hahah..seriously shes got issues always has.,but my daughter deserves better than shifting a hundred miles every weekend.my kid loves me so much and gets really upset when shes gotta go back to her mother..it kills me.plus twice allready now when i have kissed her goodbye,she has told me to kiss my ex..it really breaks my heart...she doesnt really get it..i think all of that makes me jaded in the amount of actual love i have for my ex.i know i love her and probably always will.she is the only woman i have ever loved and i thought we would be together forever,regardless of how bad it would get sumtimes..whateva shes a skank now right?f her..im a good dude.i make good money,im very good looking,and ill be fine..her throwing this away will turn out to be the biggest mistake of her life i know it.its all just very sad tho..im getting better i think

[dreamguy]

I feel what you are saying man. I really do.

 

And I know it's hard. It's been exactly (day to day) 1 year since I last saw my ex before she traveled. That night, we went out for one last time and, on the way back, she cried buckets.

It's also been more than 2 months since we last had any kind of communication and yet my feelings for her haven't dwindled at all.

 

However, reaching out at this point in time is useless. That's why people tell you to use that energy to make yourself happy. You deserve it and, of course, using it to get your ex back very very rarely works (if it works at all).

 

It has occurred to me that "getting better" doesn't mean forgetting an ex or stopping to love them. We never forget and we never stop loving them.

Getting better means being able to accept that you are not together and moving on with your life despite your persisting love for them.

[mw430]

hardest thing i ever had to do bro!...i did time in jail a while ago and this is a lot harder..isnt that crazy?i just wish i had my kid all the time compared to sat. morning to sun. night..it would make this a lot easier..its not fair sometimes,shes got my daughter,shes back in her hometown with all her old friends,a new guy to f,and a rent free place to live.and here i am,all alone,picking up the pieces.the world as i knew it was basically destroyed..im glad i love my daughter so much cuz if i didnt i wouldnt care to live sometimes u know...itll get better i know it.it cant get any worse right?

[dreamguy]

I think your daughter is lucky to have a father that loves her so much and who will be there for her in times of need.

Not all fathers / mothers are there for their kids after a separation. That alone should make you realize you are a good person who deserves to find happiness once again with or without your ex.

 

Yes, your world as you knew it has been destroyed but you are still there. You are still alive and kicking and you have the power to destroy yourself or pick yourself up despite the heart-wrenching pain you are currently going through and LIVE again. So what will it be ?

 

You have already been smart enough to come to this forum and share your story with others. You have already been strong enough for your daughter to be there for her on week-ends despite your relationship problems.

 

Take the next smart step and, as you said, believe this is as worse as it gets. From now on you need to start moving back up... towards the sun.

[mw430]

im trying buddy..i know its a slow process but ill get there..thank you for all the support..i almost dont want this to end bcuz everytime i come on here i feel a lil bit better...isnt it sad,a full grown man,who never let his emotions get the best of him ever,has this happen,and can be a total mess...its amazing.......i cant say ill ever regret knocking her up(b4 the kid she was so in love with me and devoted)but bcuz my daughter is so absolutely perfect in everyway..i just think now sometimes i wish it wasnt her ....(my ex that is to give birth to my child)she was a different woman then so how was i supposed to know..

[dreamguy]

i cant say ill ever regret knocking her up(b4 the kid she was so in love with me and devoted)but bcuz my daughter is so absolutely perfect in everyway..i just think now sometimes i wish it wasnt her ....(my ex that is to give birth to my child)she was a different woman then so how was i supposed to know..

That's the thing. You couldn't have possible known. That's why you need to stop feeling guilty.

The past is gone. The future lies ahead and your daughter is part of it. Make the best of it.

 

im trying buddy..i know its a slow process but ill get there..thank you for all the support..i almost dont want this to end bcuz everytime i come on here i feel a lil bit better...isnt it sad,a full grown man,who never let his emotions get the best of him ever,has this happen,and can be a total mess...its amazing

Oh and about the part where a full grown man lets his emotions get the best of him... I was there too once and it sure ain't a pleasant feeling for a man.

You know, society depicts men as being strong and never having tears in their eyes, etc...

IMO that's a stupid way to look at men. If God didn't want men (who are feeling a lot of pain of course) to cry then he simply wouldn't have given them tears in the first place. If God didn't want men to feel something then he simply wouldn't have given them emotions in the first place.

 

I think what makes a guy a man isn't the fact that he can contain his feelings and/or withhold his tears during extremely difficult/painful moments of his life but his ability to stand up every time he falls and continue moving forward.

[mw430]

i dont really believe in god..i wish i did cz it might make this time easier if i had faith in sumthin

[JohnGalt]

doesn't make it easier. I asked God to give me my girl back. I never ask God for much....no girl back yet. Maybe God will come through, but maybe not.